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I just had THE most crazy, fucked experience of my life thanks to nitrous oxide.
I went to the oral surgeon today to get the pus drained out of a lovely infection from my wisdom teeth/ fourth molar removal. They put me under nitrous which, if you haven't experienced it, is delivered by a little breather thingy they put on your nose and it smells thick and sour and rather like it would look greenish under light. My first altered-state experience was that the sucking device had a reverb, which I vaguely remembered from my surgery last week. Then the chair felt like it was drifting underneath me and I was swinging at an angle about the surgical lamp. Then the doctor said some fuzzy, pseudo-comforting words to the effect of "you feel okay?" as he popped into view. I told him it felt like deja vu from my last surgery, and in a voice that sounded like it was through water he asked "which surgery was that?" Which made me feel bizarre in itself because he could have guessed it was the one I just had... Then, I swear to god , in a feeling of the most intense conspiracy-like deja vu, a song I swear I'd heard before came on the radio, the doctor adjusted the surgical lamp and then pointed it precisely at me so it filled the center of my vision, and with him leaning over to my right and the nurse to my left, the mega man boss intro sequence started playing. With the light in front of me, the little stars went into the background, I sincerely believed in my mind I was about to face a megaman boss, and I saw it with utmost clarity. It felt like my whole life spent in reality was just one big joke leading up to this moment when I would face this bizarre cartoon villain in the dentists chair. I said something out loud to the effect of "not again". I felt like I was witnessing some sort of fucked up circus. I started seeing the doctor putting a quarter along the inside of my lip, which despite the numbing I could feel exactly as if it was happening, and he, as a miss proportioned mega-man villain began to slide along it as my lip stretched infinitely, randomly bumping along. Out loud I said "please let this not happen 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 times" vocally concerned about the bumps hurting progressively worse. The doctor voiced some obvious concern at my bizarre ramblings and must have asked the nurse to turn down the nitrous because the hallucinations phased out after that and I was back in the chair.

Apologies for length, but it is really bizarre and worth reading.
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:49, archived)
No it isn't.
/read it

As a Drug Story, it's fucking shit, even by the low standards set by Drug Stories.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:50, archived)
True, I have done acid before
But this was the most intense visuals that I've seen that I could at least remember, even if it only lasted a minute or so.
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:55, archived)
You're even shitter than Master of turnips
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:55, archived)
You're really putting auto-complete to good use today, aren't you?

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:56, archived)
Fucking floppy fringed, bowtie wearing, horseeyset belonging CUNTS.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:56, archived)
just chuck the soiled pants you got in the post on the pile with the rest.

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:58, archived)
People's shitness is generally inversely proportional to their post count.
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:59, archived)
Because that's the muslim way.

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:00, archived)
Turtle power!
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:14, archived)
omg, wat a fag GTFO
/ac
(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:18, archived)
I think that acid you did was actually parma violets.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:00, archived)
I once did a drugs.
I swallowed a whole drug in one go and washed it down with a booze.
(Marwood, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:15, archived)
Leening?

(I helped save b3ta! davew27 hevosen kuva!, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:50, archived)
you've tried to make it look shorter
by making the font smaller, haven't you?

I'm not going to read it until it is the proper size.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:51, archived)
Allow me to summarise.
Fuckwit goes to dentist.

Gets given entonox.

Goes a little funny.

Entonox turned off.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:52, archived)
yours is the more exciting version

(Dangermouse., Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:55, archived)
That's because I posted it.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:55, archived)
mostly because it was shorter

(Dangermouse., Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:56, archived)
Sneak us some entonox and morphine at CHB's, will you?

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:56, archived)
here
I went to the oral surgeon today to get the pus drained out of a lovely infection from my wisdom teeth/ fourth molar removal. They put me under nitrous which, if you haven't experienced it, is delivered by a little breather thingy they put on your nose and it smells thick and sour and rather like it would look greenish under light. My first altered-state experience was that the sucking device had a reverb, which I vaguely remembered from my surgery last week. Then the chair felt like it was drifting underneath me and I was swinging at an angle about the surgical lamp. Then the doctor said some fuzzy, pseudo-comforting words to the effect of "you feel okay?" as he popped into view. I told him it felt like deja vu from my last surgery, and in a voice that sounded like it was through water he asked "which surgery was that?" Which made me feel bizarre in itself because he could have guessed it was the one I just had... Then, I swear to god , in a feeling of the most intense conspiracy-like deja vu, a song I swear I'd heard before came on the radio, the doctor adjusted the surgical lamp and then pointed it precisely at me so it filled the center of my vision, and with him leening over to my right and the nurse to my left, the mega man boss intro sequence started playing. With the light in front of me, the little stars went into the background, I sincerely believed in my mind I was about to face a megaman boss, and I saw it with utmost clarity. I said something out loud to the effect of "not again". I felt like I was witnessing some sort of fucked up circus. I started seeing the doctor putting a quarter along the inside of my lip, which despite the numbing I could feel exactly as if it was happening, and he, as a miss proportioned mega-man villain began to slide along it as my lip stretched infinitely, randomly bumping along. Out loud I said "please let this not happen 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 times" vocally concerned about the bumps hurting progressively worse. The doctor voiced some obvious concern at my bizarre ramblings and must have asked the nurse to turn down the nitrous because the hallucinations phased out after that and I was back in the chair.
(bl33dingsaint how's your father?, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:55, archived)
My version is better, more succint, properly spelt and nearly grammatically correct.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:56, archived)
sexier too

(bl33dingsaint how's your father?, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:57, archived)
I wouldn't go so far as to say grammatically correct.
It's not in proper sentences.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:57, archived)
More a haiku

(I helped save b3ta! brooza wonders how long a sig can be and if this will fit, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:16, archived)
Spelt isn't a word
unless you're talking about the wheat species, and my grammar should be pretty keen. Go belittle someone else or stick your head in an oven. Some people are way too belligerent on this board.
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:59, archived)
KEYBOARD BULLY!

(I helped save b3ta! ArthurTheRat, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:59, archived)

OOOOOOH!
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:00, archived)
Yes it is.
It's the past tense of "spell".
It doesn't even get underlined in red in this here text box I'm typing in. Spelt.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:00, archived)
wouldn't that be "spelled"?
It's sure underlined in my text box. Spelt.
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:04, archived)
Is your dictionary set to 'US'?

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:05, archived)
I'm guessing it might be set to 'fuckwit'

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:06, archived)
aren't they the same?

(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:08, archived)
now now
this is just unnecessary.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:08, archived)
Now look.
If people stop being fuckwits, I'll stop mocking them.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:09, archived)
He wasn't being a fuckwit.
He told a dull OMGDRUGS story and didn't know that British English allows 'spelt'.

Not a fantastic contribution to the afternoon's entertainment, but not really fuckwittery either.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:12, archived)
I think badger has had a bit too much orange squash and is getting over-excited.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:10, archived)
Kia-Ora used to send me funny as well.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:12, archived)
first 3 definitions say you are mistaken
dictionary.reference.com/browse/Spelt%20
(Dangermouse., Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:02, archived)
I've made the font smaller so it wouldn't fill the board and people wouldn't bitch about the size
but then there's you who managed to bitch anyway
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:56, archived)
it's really the number of words that is the problem.
if they're also so small as to be difficult to read, that's TWO problems.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:56, archived)
Lightweight.

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:51, archived)
I know
I've done plenty of pot and dabbled in hallucinogens, but I feel the nitrous affected me much more than I anticipated
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:56, archived)
NOTE TO ANY GIRLS
THIS ^ POSTER HAS DABBLED IN ILLEGAL DRUGS AND IS THEREFORE INTERESTING, DEEP AND SPIRITUAL.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:57, archived)
You really must have a tiny cock
to have to be such an ass. I was merely commenting on how I was a lightweight when I didn't anticipate it. I wasn't making myself out to be some badass just because I've done drugs. It's my choice and I enjoy marijuana, and I don't do it to look/feel cooler or impress anyone. So fuck off or come up with something nice to say.
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:02, archived)
Are you usually this sensitive, or is that a side-effect too much marijuana?
Do you have a family history of mental illness?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:04, archived)
Not so much mental illness as fuckwittery I'm guessing.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:07, archived)
No, I just feel self righteous as there's always at least one antagonistic person on /talk
and it kind of ruins the atmosphere and makes people wary of posting. Yes, it's sometimes funny and there's some genuine shit posters out there, but the assholes usually too trigger happy. My feelings weren't actually hurt, I just felt compelled to respond to him being an ass rather than ignore him.
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:11, archived)
OK. Feeling self-righteous because of the tone of a post on the internet
is possibly even worse than crying about it.

Were you beaten soundly and on a daily basis by a terrifying fat baptist mother as a child?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:14, archived)
Now here speaks the voice of experience.

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:17, archived)
A very good point
I'm usually more wise than to respond objectively to a "OMG FUCKING N00B LAME POST". Maybe a fat baptist beat me while I was under anesthesia
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:23, archived)

TOOT TOOT!
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:05, archived)
That's awesome

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:07, archived)
DIE HIPPY DIE

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:05, archived)
Can it be death by stoning?

(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:25, archived)
You've just seen the face of god.

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:52, archived)
I guess you kind of had to be there?

(Dangermouse., Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:55, archived)
Or have done gas before.

(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:57, archived)
I mean, of course, Nitrous oxide.
No-one in their right mind would toot lighter gas.
(I helped save b3ta! Malaka omdz, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:58, archived)
I got a lungfull of Nitrous a few years ago, while working in motorsport
I did not get funny hallucinations, although I did post a 9.145 1/4 mile
(Dangermouse., Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:00, archived)
Substance intended to alter your perception of reality
in altering your perception of reality shocker!
(I helped save b3ta! elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:58, archived)
I found it interesting
Even if the druggie cunts above didn't.
(I helped save b3ta! TN, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:59, archived)
Non-users are losers.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:01, archived)
Only users lose drugs

(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:03, archived)
Huw the user choses to lose his troosers in an unusual abuser ruse.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:06, archived)
Yay, something positive to say!
*hugs*
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:05, archived)
You seem incredibly needy, even by the standards of this board.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:09, archived)
Just trying to acknowledge someone being kind
I'm otherwise a lurker by post/year standards
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:16, archived)
Your life has been fantastically dull
if that is what you consider crazy.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 17:59, archived)
This.
Even I've done entonox, and for the record, it's a bit shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:00, archived)
I've had more crazy "real" experiences
but this was the craziest drug-influenced hallucination. I've even done psilocybin and LSD before, and it still wasn't this intense or bizarre.
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:06, archived)
Do more.
Honestly. If your experience of LSD was more feeble than that, then either you have an iron man constitution and are invulnerable to it, or you aren't taking enough. Or, as I suggested above, you were actually eating sweeties.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:09, archived)
Or, might be making it up, based upon a goverment pamplet called 'what drugs do'.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:12, archived)
If that was the case I'd say:
"Wow, I love marijuana! It totally influences me to do more drugs and neglect my friends, family and responsibilities! That lack of interest sure is crrazzzzyyy feeling!" and then I'd huff some oven cleaner and do a drive by.
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:20, archived)
MORE OF THIS SORT OF THING!

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:24, archived)
^this
if you had done enough acid, you wouldn't want to tell anyone about it.
(I helped save b3ta! wotofco pissing in your swimming pool, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:12, archived)
Also true

(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:18, archived)
True, it definitely wasn't enough
I peaked way too soon. Plus, I love the idea of being advised to do MORE drugs.
(I helped save b3ta! J-Rod chortled as he came, Mon 13 Aug 2007, 18:17, archived)