in the same way being raped might

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:01, archived)

You do talk some rubbish

(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:02, archived)

That's utter bollocks.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:03, archived)

say why.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:04, archived)

That's it just to annoy you
I'm going to fantasise about you right now.

oh that's good,
yeah baby.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:05, archived)

No.
Ask one of the other people that agree with me.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:06, archived)

Because someone you like enjoying thoughts of you
has nothing absofuckinglutely nothing to do with them physically pinning you down and subjecting you to a rape.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:11, archived)

Correct.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:12, archived)

missed point alert.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:12, archived)

You, or him?

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:16, archived)

probably both.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:17, archived)

I think, right,
that it's OK for someone to think about their partner sexually, because you've already, most likely, had sex with them. And some people even see it as a compliment.

I really do worry about how your mind works.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:19, archived)

I worry about how everybody else's minds work.
You humans are baffling creatures.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:22, archived)

what?
no! it is from someone you ALREADY elected to sleep with.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:04, archived)

I think they really have to get permission every single time.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:08, archived)

I'm going to leave this,
as you've obviously had some traumatic experience that means sex=horrible for you. Not much I can say, except "try something new". You never know, you might not have found what you like yet.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:12, archived)

yeah and the reason I don't like sweetcorn is because I got attacked by a buttered cob.
OBVIOUSLY
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:15, archived)

well it's not a normal way of thinking, is it?

( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:19, archived)

neither is coming up with the theory of relativity.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:20, archived)

fair enough
enjoy your celibacy.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:22, archived)

it's not celibacy, you dilbert!
celibacy is when you don't have sex outside of marriage because you think it's morally wrong.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:23, archived)

No it's not.
Celibacy is abstination from sex, full stop.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:27, archived)

Is it abstinence if you've no reason to want to do it?

( Newington, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:29, archived)

oh yeah.
I was thinking of a different one.

It isn't that, anyway. The latter bit still applies. It's when you decide not to, for whatever reason, despite your urges. I just have no interest in sex.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:32, archived)

Your boyfriend must be chuffed.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:36, archived)

I'm thinking that perhaps
he actually loves me, or something, because he's had the last four years to chuck me if it bothered him that much.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:41, archived)

He must have LOADS of porn.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:49, archived)

I can only recommend you try sticking a toasting-fork up your nose.
How can you know you won't like it if you've never tried?
( Newington, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:16, archived)

I don't ave a toasting-fork
and the toaster won't fit.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:20, archived)

How unadventurous.

( Newington, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:22, archived)

Ummm?
Having your partner thinking about you in a sexual context is comparable to rape?

OK. I think this conversation just took a turn for the twilight zone.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:08, archived)

yeah, mentally it is.
I mean, I can hardly consent to it if I'm not even there, can I?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:09, archived)

Quick someone call the thought police.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:11, archived)

no, come off it.
you can't stop people having fantasies about stabbing you to death either, but you wouldn't want to know about it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:14, archived)

but being stabbed is unpleasant
sex isn't.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:16, archived)

it is if it's rape.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:18, archived)

CIRCULAR ARGUMENT.
What if it's NOT rape?

How can a thought be rape? Really? How?
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:20, archived)

by being non consensual.
I don't consent to being thought about in a sexy way.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:21, archived)

You can't consent to a thought process in someone else's mind.
You can't censor someone else's thoughts.

Sorry to push this one, but if 'God' gave us freewill, he essentially signed a waiver on your behalf.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:23, archived)

Well, quite.
That's exactly why it would make me feel used, and actually really quite powerless.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:25, archived)

You're actually mental.
I'd suggest removing all five of your senses, and becoming a PVS mong.
( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:28, archived)

And how many chaps have you ever thought about in a sexy way?
Seriously, it's human nature, you can't help urges. With your rules, pretty much everyone would end up in prison.

I can sort of understand what you mean, objectification and all that (you great big feminist), but there's nothing that can stop it. It's just part of life.
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:24, archived)

I'm not actually advocating putting people in prison for thinking about sex.
Although in answer to your question: none.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:26, archived)

It's fair enough if sex just doesn't do it for you
but you can't expect sexytime daydreams not to happen. It just....doesn't work like that.

And I know you're not advocating imprisonment, that was my extreme example :)
( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:29, archived)

no it just wouldn't make me feel very good
if someone told me about it.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:34, archived)

Not all sex is rape.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:22, archived)

It is if you're frigid.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:25, archived)

He's not imagining raping you
he's imagining you consenting and enjoying it. If you got a text saying "hi hun been thinking about raping u, got me hot, xx" or something, I'd see your point.

If he was enjoying daydreaming about going to the park with you for a lovely walk, would you object on the grounds that you don't like going to the park?
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:25, archived)

Hmm yeah
actually a good point. Although if he was imagining me doing something I really hated, however innocent, I'd kind of wonder why he was imagining me being like somebody else.
It's just the idea of being thought of as a sexual thing, to me, it's horrid.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:30, archived)

I promise I'll do my best not to
but you can have sex without treating someone like an object, despite what internet links might have you believe.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:35, archived)

OK. I'm imagining slashing my colleague's face off with a rusty meathook.
Is that in any way comparable with, say, slashing his face off with a rusty meathook?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:13, archived)

No of course it isn't, you point-missing tit.
If you told him about it I shouldn't think he'd be very happy though.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:16, archived)

You wouldn't text him to tell him about it (if you liked him anyway, which, if you're imagining that, you probably don't. Er.)
The difference is trust and knowing someone well enough to know they'll appreciate it, like Webbie and her gentleman friend obviously have.
( Newington, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:19, archived)

BOLLOCKS.

( Bud Muhnquai Update your profile or fuck off, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:17, archived)

There you go again.
I really wonder why you bother.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:18, archived)