Slag
Being a long time lurker but a newbie in JMG's eyes, how much easier is it to slag someone off than to be nice to them? Because you lot ar horrible.

Ba5tards.

Love from Chris R.
(Nagano Lurkha Justice Campaign, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:00, archived)

You're fucking shit.
I love you.

Hmm, about the same, really.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:01, archived)

Much easier
love from Verity x
( in vino veritas, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:01, archived)

Indeed it is
Much easier to be nice to someone.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:05, archived)

it is
its a shame that some cannot tell the difference between online and offline.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:10, archived)

I assume you don't mean me, right?

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:13, archived)

yeap
but when its the only face some people see, they just get the wrong idea.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:15, archived)

I see your point
Like Mooey's past defense of Sprinkles- all right off the board (apparently) but a complete crotch-stain on here.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:18, archived)

I'm a colossal cunt in real life

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:27, archived)

I'm often mistaken for a cunt.
I'm lovely really, but I just can't stop taking the piss out of people and winding them up. Southerners take it particularly badly.
( Malaka omdz, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:29, archived)

How DARE you insinuate that Southerners are humourless twats?!
I shall draft a letter to my MP this very instant.
( in vino veritas, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:34, archived)

I'm moving to London later on this year.
I don't know hpow they're going to take it.
( Malaka omdz, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:38, archived)

Ignore JMG
He's the cock up your impotent uncle's arse
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:01, archived)

What the hell is all this about?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:03, archived)

Sssshhh

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:05, archived)

Can somebody answer for him?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:05, archived)

What are you for?
I ask this question knowing very well that 98.5% of folk here have you on ignore. And now you're going to do some intellectually insignificant flouncing but try and make it look like I did it. ON FUCKING LINE. Go away fatty
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:10, archived)

98.5% of people on here don't have me on ignore.
That's just a childish statement, and a poor start.

The bit where I'm "flouncing" is also a high point. You'd say "wobble", but, of course, that's a JMG phrase. Which loads of folk on here use.
Despite being on block, apparently.

The caps. Just, tickles my ego. Keep that coming if you will.

Topped off by you calling me a fatty. It's difficult, in one post to come off as being angry or indeed upset too, but fair play. You've made a FANTASTIC stance, there.

On fucking line.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:13, archived)

Just replying is enough to annoy some people, so don't get over-excited.
Time's getting on.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:14, archived)

Whatever you do
Don't get all excited, or reply to yourself, or be ...well you know... paradoxical
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:17, archived)

Have you had a drink, and taken it out on me, JMG?
Honestly, now.
I can't recall you ever getting upset at me on here.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:19, archived)

Deep breath

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:20, archived)

I'm not the traffic police.
It all makes sense. Calm down and feel free to discuss this all again when you're feeling better.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:22, archived)

LOLOLOL
THE BEST INTERNET

LOLCAPS
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:14, archived)

*Punches the sky*
YES!!!
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:15, archived)

well, i like him

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:14, archived)

98.5% of you has me on block.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:15, archived)

but WHICH 98.5%?

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:17, archived)

The bits that need CLEANSING!

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:19, archived)

You would
You flid virgin
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:19, archived)

See, your are not exactly helping yourself with such comments.

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:01, archived)

it's easy to slag off
but it's harder to slag off well
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:01, archived)

The only answer worth a response.
And the response is:

Cunt.
(Nagano Lurkha Justice Campaign, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:07, archived)

Hmm, you might just survive the noob period after all.
That username's going to net you plenty of grief though, if you stay.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:08, archived)

^this

( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:09, archived)

Yes, it needs more l33t if you're going to be able to stick it out.
Try replacing some letters with numbers.
( Malaka omdz, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:11, archived)

I suggest "t3H R4yza l1t3z0r".

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:12, archived)

What about 'R4yz0r l33Tz0R' ?
See what I did there? Huh? See what I did?
( Malaka omdz, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:13, archived)

I do see. I do.
I like it. Well actually I hate it so much I want to stab the internet, but you know what I mean.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:15, archived)

Sorry
Can't do it, apologies for the profanity, I meant no disrespect.
(Nagano Lurkha Justice Campaign, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:08, archived)

oh, but it's parrott
he's used to it.

here, watch this: HEY PARROTT! YOU'RE A CUNT!

See?
( hexachordal la la la la la, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:09, archived)

lols
i am though
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:11, archived)

Muck's sake.
Fair play, he actually is a cunt. Who knew?



Apart from you lot.
(Nagano Lurkha Justice Campaign, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:12, archived)

i did to

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:13, archived)

see, I'm starting to like you now.
but yeah, get something on your profile and get a nice name. We can be friends an'at. :D
( hexachordal la la la la la, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:13, archived)

FIVE FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF!

( Malaka omdz, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:15, archived)

Shit name
OK, I've got a shit name, but I had it a long time before those fucks Razorlight.

Thieving Indie pricks.
(Nagano Lurkha Justice Campaign, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:15, archived)

Try something l33t.
Please. We can give you some GREAT suggestions.
( Malaka omdz, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:17, archived)

New name
QOTW - new name for me. Any suggestions will be gladly accepted. My current choices are:

Nagano
Rawsy
Funcking Cunck
Slippers
Slagtard
Carry on Cunting
Flicktard
The Guru

Up to you...
(Nagano Lurkha Justice Campaign, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 2:09, archived)

3 facts!
or is it 5?
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:01, archived)

12

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:02, archived)

twelvetytwo!

( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:03, archived)

FTMFW

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:06, archived)

i will settle for just
"some"

this is my favourite number
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:10, archived)

well you're making it really hard to be nice to you, you pathetic cunt.

( scott,, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:02, archived)

We're all cunts
but we're all lovely really. Hello lurky person, tell us about yourself.

JMG is a 27 year old man who lives with his mum and doesn't have a job, so he sits around playing videogames
online and insulting people on here. You get used to it.
( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:02, archived)

I really, really hope this is true.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:02, archived)

As do I.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:03, archived)

Ask you mum, she'll vouch for me.

( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:04, archived)

Why do you think what you said is true?
I've never asked you. I don't think.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:05, archived)

Pfft
I'm shit stirring, Jammy. Because I'm fat, and online.
( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:06, archived)

But you aren't from Aberdeen!
What gives?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:07, archived)

Haha. I dunno.
FACTS ABOUT JMG.

He has a blog.
He's 27 and lives with Hubare and Handsome Gav in a house in Newcastle, I think.
He's either the manager of a mobile phone shop; a games console shop, or runs his own business from home selling dieting pills.
( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:09, archived)

:(((((((
That's more offensive.
I could never live with Handsome Gav.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:10, archived)

oh BatDyke. You're my favourite shoe-loving furry Lesmond.
/ac

What DO you do actually JMG?
( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:11, archived)

How many times have you asked?

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:14, archived)

I WILL GET AN ANSWER ONE DAY!

( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:18, archived)

Doesn't he write 'comedy' for BBC3?

( Malaka omdz, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:16, archived)

Nah
That's super piat.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:18, archived)

what's piat actually done?
anything we'd know?
( hexachordal la la la la la, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:34, archived)

Winner
That must be the best insult of all time. It's like telling Moss that she models for PriMark.

Genius. I think I'm gonna like it here.
(Nagano Lurkha Justice Campaign, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:29, archived)

I thought you'd fucked off

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:03, archived)

you didn't answer my beef question :(

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:04, archived)

I don't like beef
and you seem just to be very snappy and cunty to people - LimeyTreat, Mot, people I like
( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:04, archived)

yes i am.
but i don't know why you personally feel offended by this
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:05, archived)

Don't be silly
If someone on the street was abusive to your friends in plain sight, I highly doubt you would remain indifferent to the whole thing
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:09, archived)

You're attempting to use a reasonable argument.
It won't work.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:12, archived)

Bugger
I always get that bit wrong
( elusive I'm not really here. You're imagining me, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:14, archived)

27 43
doesn't
ve s
+ as a lorry driver

Surely?
( Bob Todd whee, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:06, archived)

you're a newbie in EVERYONE's eyes,
because you've been here a month. What did you expect?

Unless...

bou?
( hexachordal la la la la la, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:02, archived)

AH'M NOT BLICK!

( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:03, archived)

Pipe down, darkie

( Malaka omdz, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:04, archived)

*steals your car*
*rapes your daughter*
( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:05, archived)

I can't see why anyone would want to live in South Africa
it looks horrendous
( Malaka omdz, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:06, archived)

It's full of blacks, for a start!

( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:07, archived)

a i
( hexachordal la la la la la, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:11, archived)

*shoots*
HOORAY! hggggghh
( hexachordal la la la la la, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:06, archived)

oops, sorry about that...
was trying to get at a custard cream crumb between the G and the H and didn't notice it was still typing.
( hexachordal la la la la la, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:07, archived)

Pfft.

( Bob Todd whee, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:08, archived)

back in your box
chocolate
( chef losing more hair on a daily basis since, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:08, archived)

I SOOR A KAFFIR CLAHMING OVIR THE FINCE
so ah shot eem.
( hexachordal la la la la la, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:05, archived)

HE WOS GAING TO STEEL MAH KEBBEGIS!
AH CAN'T HEV NO DAHKIES STEELING MAH KEBBEGIS!
*takes shots at vegetable patch&
( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:06, archived)

RABBITS, KIFFIRS
THEY'RE ONE AND THE SIME!
( hexachordal la la la la la, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:09, archived)

*reloads*

( moohalaa, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:10, archived)

Be fluffy. It's easier.

( SugarSpunSister Yeah, whatever, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:03, archived)

Badger's just had a call to go into work.
I hate ill people. They are ruining my hoggins time.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:03, archived)

you know what I would say if someone called me up and asked me to go into work...
FUCK OFF.
( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:09, archived)

He was on call. He should have been in work tonight anyway :(

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:10, archived)

bah :(

( Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:17, archived)

I just don't answer the phone
If the caller display shows work's number. Then the next day I'll apologise and say I was out of the house at the time.
( Lord Gnome, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:11, archived)

they'll get suspicious after a while
no?
(rigby happened on (and with added toothache), Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:18, archived)

Apparently not
It's either that or explain that I'm not contracted to be on call-out anyway and that while I am perfectly happy to start early or finish late as and when necessary, I am not going to drop whatever I am doing in my free time and go back to work without any notice.
( Lord Gnome, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:25, archived)

I don't slag anyone off unless they are more of an idiot than me. Which is rare.
Welcome and that.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:03, archived)

i can vouch for this.
it's very rare.
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:04, archived)

Do I detect a wobble?

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:05, archived)

i don't think so

(Quatermass and teh Shit, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:06, archived)

I'm nice to everyone
and universally loved and respected for it
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:04, archived)

It's easier to slag someone off
as long as it is behind their back.
(O(+> died of autoerotic asphyxiation on, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:11, archived)

Where are all these new people coming from?
I know it's tuesday, but they're all older than a week. Hmmm...

Hello, new person. Facts about yourself, please.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:13, archived)

I tihnk it's the exams
General procrastination. I know that's the case with me, I've never popped off the image board.

facts:, uh, I'm pretty much a boring guy. :(
(O(+> died of autoerotic asphyxiation on, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:18, archived)

Boring? You'll fit right in here then.
Well, whatever brought you here, welcome. Carry on not being shit, like you've managed so far, and you'll do fine.
( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:21, archived)

NEW PERSON
HELLO

FACTS THREE OR FIVE PLZ KTHXBAI
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:13, archived)

hello new person
you seem better than that other one already.
( scott,, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:15, archived)

Which one do you think is Bud?

( Lord Gnome, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:17, archived)

I don't know.
Bud, Bou, Baldmonkey... I'm having trouble telling them apart nowadays
( Malaka omdz, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:18, archived)

?
Who is Bud? Must have mMissed that one.
(Nagano Lurkha Justice Campaign, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:53, archived)

neither.
bud doesn't need to post here, he gets more people talking about him now he's not here than ever.
( scott,, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:20, archived)

I think we should avoid making any decisions until we've seen nekkid pics

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:17, archived)

But this is the talk board
Otherwise I'd be all for showing the world my moobs.
(O(+> died of autoerotic asphyxiation on, Tue 15 Jan 2008, 1:23, archived)