fuck sake
last night, two 15 year old wankers went on a bit of a bender, smashing car windows, ripping off mirrors on parked cars as they walked past, and actually set a car on fire. they were caught, and bundled into a police car at 2.30am.

at 4pm this afternoon both of them were walking down the street bragging about what they had done.

I'd like to beat the little bastards within an inch of their lives and then flog what's left of them to death with a dirty tea towel.

what would you do?

*angry telegraph reader rant mode off*
( TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

Join them in their bender so they would accept me as a friend and not hurt me :(

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:29, archived)

This is worryingly one of the better ideas!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:58, archived)

set rabid dogs on them

( jenpots, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:30, archived)

I feel that would be unfair on the dogs

( TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:31, archived)

Ones that shoot bees out their mouths.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 10 May 2009, 2:00, archived)

I'd let them know that they can accept Jesus into their lives if they want to get away from crime.
Then while they're considering that, I'd fucking club them over the head.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

with spanners?

( TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:32, archived)

Nah, I'd raid the toolbox for something more exotic.
Probably a swivel head wrench.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Sun 10 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

sounds good to me

( TBL I posted this on, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

blame it on the boogie

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

probably the Macarena
or maybe the Can-Can
depends on the mood
( scott,, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:34, archived)

the mood for dancin'

( Derek Monte subthread killer: qu'est-ce que c'est, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

Have a look at this
nightjack.wordpress.com/

/angry Guardian reader who thinks Polly Toynbee's an idiot
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:35, archived)

when the first post on a blog is a reason why they haven't been updating their blog, I just close the tab

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:42, archived)

Fair point
but it's worth having a look.
Won the Orwell prize about a month ago.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

I just cleaned out the hamster cage, if that helps

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:36, archived)

I'd probably do less than that
but actually do it
(0800221155 Coldseal windows, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

I would start a local programme which teaches general good parenting like saying 'well done' when your child has done something good and not saying 'you fucking idiot, I wish I never had you' and beating them when they were bad
Then I'd work with local schools to celebrate all children's achievements in repect to their relative abilities in different areas, championing the importance of work placements as well as academic excellence.
Then I'd make sure they had lots of amenities close by so they had something better to do with themselves than just getting pissed and breaking things.

Yeah, that, or I'd just rip their heads off like they did to those wing mirrors and shit down their necks or something.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:37, archived)

Good evening, miss
long time no see, are you well?
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:39, archived)

I'm alright my dear, I trust this message finds you in fine fettle.
I am trying to write my dissertation which has to be in tomorrow morning. UGH.
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:41, archived)

tell them the dog ate it
that always works, probably
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:44, archived)

That sounds like a right bastard
anything I can do to help?
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 10 May 2009, 1:46, archived)