When you buy a pair of shoes with laces,
why are they always laced up in such a nonsense way?
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:36, archived)

because the world hates you.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

Well that's certainly one possibility.
Let's take that on board.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

the last pair i bought had odd laces.
One was green, the other was white. I've not yet been able to wear them out in polite society
( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:37, archived)

So they can cut it off your foot if you break yourself in the shoe shop

( WormuIus, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

I like this answer
I so want it to be true
( crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:51, archived)

I don't think the last pair of trainers I bought were even laced, I had to do it.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:38, archived)

The last pair I bought were laced with ribbon.
Bollocks to that, I put proper laces in.
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:39, archived)

Made out of a single mink hair?

( RR I love you ... in a way, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Do you buy Polly Pocket dolls
and wear the little rubber outfits yourself ?
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

yeah
they're pretty damn sexy
( spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Working in a shoe shop
is the new "care in the community"
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Because that's the way they do it in China.

( thealternativefact, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:40, archived)

Laces?
I've barely mastered slip-ons let alone velcro.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:41, archived)

Laces
are how the chinese find out which of them is fastest.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

Lacist.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

PLAWN CLACKAH !

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

are your shoes also three sizes too big and stuffed with cotton wool at the ends?

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

From now on they will be!

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

Are they always?

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

In my experience,
as far back as I can remember.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Never mind that, what I want to know is why they invariably snap after a few months' wear and tear.

(WANKERTRON you say "prick", I say "wanker", Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

SAUSAGE FINGERS

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

I do boring cross lacing.
www.fieggen.com/shoelace/lacingmethods.htm
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:42, archived)

I've just done Display Shoe Lacing.
I've done Straight (Bar) Lacing before.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

It appears I do shoe shop lacing
This is thrilling
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

I don't like shoe shop lacing
you gradually pull out more lace one side than the other.

I need a sit down and a rest, this is too much.
( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

That is its only downfall
I do like its tidy efficiency though.

*comas*
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:52, archived)

One handed lacing eh?
EH?
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:47, archived)

No idea.
I don't buy shoes with laces though really. My shoes today are pink and slippery.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:43, archived)

I've got cowboy boots on.
Slippery how? Like bacon?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:44, archived)

No, they look like princess slippers. They're very cute.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:46, archived)

Where are they from?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

Topshop I think. Or maybe somewhere forrin.

( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Tue 12 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

Also topshop. Fancy.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:53, archived)

That is one of my very favourite jokes.

( Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

What's pink and slippery ?

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:45, archived)

A teabag!

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:48, archived)

I never do my high top cons up to the top so I can roll them down and look uber fashionable and cool.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:49, archived)

roll your jacket sleeves up too,
and wear a tiny hat balanced on the crown of your head.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:50, archived)

I'm the most popular kid at school

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 12 May 2009, 15:50, archived)