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Knock knock.
Who is there?
Junkmail from so called "politicians". Tonnes of it. PolitiCUNTS more like.
Satire lol. Lolitics. The only election I'm voting in the the one with the hand gun ballot and the pikey candidates in town. GOOD BYE CRUEL TOP OF THE WORLD I MADE IT MA.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 11:59, archived)
ROFLRENDUM

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)
OMGOCRACY !

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)
MPSL

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)
A/S/L ?

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)
Age, Sex, Electorate.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)
The Internot
needs your opinion on Lady Gaga

We discussed her at lenght and breadth last week but you were offline receiving help for your mentalness or something
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)
She's shit.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)
As in "actually made of"
Like she's some sort of homunc-poo-lus ?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)
Yeah, basically.
With a bucket of ming thrown in.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)
I find her very difficult to read
I suspect she's good at gambling with cards.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)
Oh.
I don't really know who she is.
I am too busy listening to Dancehall music to investigate.
Can you give me a summary of each side of the argument?
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)
Some people think she is shit and ugly
some people think she is shit.

Dancehall ? Explain yourself.

I bought a Trojan "box set" of about 50 MP3's off iTunes for about £3, this pleased me.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)
Reggae
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cnw1nAVTmKY&feature=PlayList&p=3A15EB2D9339024B&index=0
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)
This is her:
www.femalefirst.co.uk/lifestyle-fashion/stylebeauty/Lady+GaGa-8703.html
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)
HEAR YE! HEAR YE! baldmonkey speaks his truth:
Meh.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:22, archived)
I like all those flyers
I like to count in how many ways they have the total opposite opinion as I do.

It's a lot.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:00, archived)
Especially Mark "I went to Afghanistan" Lancaster

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)
The libdem one says they help with local problems. Stupid cunts didn't help me when I asked.
I've written FUCK OFF on it and sent it to the freepost address. That'll teach them. ANARCHY IN THE ROYAL MAIL. Fight the power, brethren. MOFO! Mo' recession, mo' shorter skirts.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)
you can't be mean to the Libdems
that's like kicking a cripple.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)
They totally PWN the local council.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)
cool stuff, bye

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:01, archived)
I know, waste of fucking paper.
I don't think I'll bother voting here, anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:03, archived)
It's the first time since I turned 18, I actually want to vote.
Things are so fucked up I want to have my say. I have to read up on all the parties first though. I wish there was some way to do that without propaganda and rhetoric.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:05, archived)
I refuse to vote without understanding what I am voting for.
Where is RJ when you need him?
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)
Congratulations on being better than the nearly all the voting public.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:07, archived)
Or I might just vote BNP because they aren't racist. They have a paki in their leaflet and everything.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)
Vote Nazi

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)
Totally unracist dude.
It says in big letters "IT'S NOT THE NIGGERS WE MIND..."
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)
...AT LEAST NOT THE ONES WHOS PARENTS WERE BORN HERE

(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)
No
they hate them too. There was an interview with Nick Griffin Amourous Badger posted on links a couple of weeks back.
(I helped save b3ta! Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)
You're voting for a man (or a lady)
to go to London and mumble at some other men and ladies and sometimes go on the telly.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)
Actually, this.
I can't be bothered reading up on it here and at home aswell.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)
How fucked up are things Mr B ?
How ?
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)
Twenty.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:06, archived)
We should start our own party? What do YOU PEOPLE want to be in charge of?
I'm going to be Minster for Bewbies & Transport.

Everyone has to travel on Cockerel now. If you're a girl, show me your bewbies.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)
Drinking, smoking, shouting, swearing and animal welfare.

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)
You're going to make animals smoke, drink and fight?!? SWEET!

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)
NO.
I have dibs on animal welfare, religion, vice and crime.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)
No fucking way are you allowed have animal welfare.
You'll only eat them all.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)
I'd smash the fucking horses faces in.
Cunts.
I FUCKING HATE YTHEM.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)
The best thing to smash a horses face in
is a dolphin shovel.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)
Or an iron bar.
A horse walks into a bar, and he says ow. It was an iron bar. The barman says "why the long face?" the horse says, "I just walked into an iron bar."
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:21, archived)

*does tiny queef of joy*
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:28, archived)
I want to be Minister for PUNISHMENT
Then I can have people who annoy me killed.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:08, archived)
Can I be your deputy?

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)
Yes
All deputies must do topless boobie dances at short notice however.

If you kill a few people and your boobies are all covered in the blood of your vanquished enemies, all the better.
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)
Cool.
I do love a bit of blood shed.
(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)
Me too.
I'm going to get one at Homebase.
(I helped save b3ta! thealternativefact, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)
lolololol

(I helped save b3ta! Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)
International Development
Or Secratary of State
(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:10, archived)
I'd quite like to be in charge of education and children (in a non-noncy way)
Instead of SATS, I'd introduce maturity tests.
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)
I'd have totally failed.
I probably still would.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)
They wouldn't be incredibly difficult.
It'd just be common sense for the most part, with a few extra things.
(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:14, archived)
Yeah,
I'd totally fail.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)
Kids that act mature only makes them even more immaute.
Act like a kid when you're a kid and a grown up kid when you're an adult.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)
Yeah that annoys me a bit when adults tell kids off for being immature.
"Stop acting like a child!"
"But I AM a child!"

But there's childish and there's childish. In some ways, I wish people wouldn't grow up so much.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:16, archived)
Whatever allows me to most effectively abuse my position and get loads of freebies and that.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:17, archived)
Can I be Minister for Sexy Parties?

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:38, archived)
Being in the position of having met a number of candidates, and in one case, Nick Clegg, I've decided not to vote.

(I helped save b3ta! WHARRGARBL, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:09, archived)
Mumumumumah !
met OMG BUMMED !
(I helped save b3ta! Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:11, archived)
DUDE!
YOU PWNED THE N00B!
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)
I like Nick Clegg,

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)

Nick +at
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:12, archived)
I bet the fucking tax payer
paid for all that shit too.
(I helped save b3ta! Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:13, archived)
Yeah. He's a dick.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:15, archived)
It's Mykey, isn't it?
"MY TAXES!"
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:20, archived)
Shut it, jobfail

(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)
baiting win

(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)
Anyone who thinks what happens to their taxes isn't important is a bigger dick than Mykey ever appears to be.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)
Either that or they dont pay them
Or they have more money than sense
(I helped save b3ta! Mykeyboy A massive, salty filing cabinet, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)
STUPID TAX!

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:30, archived)
progressive taxation ought to ensure that it is only people with more money than sense
who significantly have to pay it. Unfortunately, we've ended up in the absurd position that even someone who works part time on minimum wage gets stung by income tax. And then get some of it back in the form of benefits, if they're lucky.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:37, archived)
It's important what the government spends its revenue on,
it's not so important that such revenue is in any meaningful sense "mine", or exactly how much of it passed through my hands at some point.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:33, archived)
That's about the most meaningless arguement I've seen on here.
And I've been here for a good few of Bou's.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:46, archived)
You're obviously missing some important point here.
Maybe the one about how the value of a person's political opinions isn't proportional to how much tax they pay.
(I helped save b3ta! Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:48, archived)
I can't decide if Underworld Evolution is better than Resident Evil Apocalypse
or to what degree either film is inferior to Matrix Revolutions

I need to think about this one
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:23, archived)
Let's strap some people into Clockwork Orange style chairs and make them watch all three on a loop for a week and see what they think.

(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:25, archived)
yes
and Star Wars Episode I
(I helped save b3ta! Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:26, archived)
Yes.
All at once.
(I helped save b3ta! baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 12:27, archived)