Enough of that shite,
I got struck by lightning earlier.

Have you ever been struck by lightning?

This is clearly a lie.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:42, archived)

i did no such thing

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:43, archived)

No.
I've been bitten by a duck, though. Do you think that's similar?
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

I've also been bitten by a duck
didn't expect to find one at three in the morning outside my bedroom door, I can tell you
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

I got bitten by a duck when I was two.
This makes it similar enough to count.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

I just dropped all my cig filters on the floor
bastards
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:44, archived)

Springy did something similar earlier, but with a FUCKING MASSIVE BAG OF RICE.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

did she pick them up with her gnarled yellowed fingers
and then roll them into paper tubes of inhaleable cancerous death?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

They went up the hoover.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

I bet you do that pretend cough thing when someone lights up 100 yards away
like ooh *cough cough* oh noes i can totally smell horrible cigarette smoke *cough cough*
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

hey you - guess what?
.rigby thinks I'm a facet of you. That I don't really have tits or a fadge or live in aus but that I'm some man from the UK. Thought you should know.
love and fluffles.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

who the fuck is rigby?

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

love and fluffles eh? going soft

( mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

quite the opposite, I'm getting a semi

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

This cockend.
b3ta.com/~.rigby
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

yeah, I kind of realised after I posted
I have difficulty remembering the names of the background noise clique
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:11, archived)

Is rigby the one who had a big whinge at JMG and then flounced?

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

Actually, this doesn't really narrow it down.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

I give them a look of such cold withering hatred that the cigarette splutters and goes out from the chill

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

non-smokers live forever FACT

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

FAGS
I'm gonna live forever
I'm gonna learn how to toke-smokes

I feel it comin' together
People will see me and cry. Fags!
( broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

you bastard, that's in my head now
I'll have to shift it with Captain Beaky
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:17, archived)

Captain Beaky waved his fags
followed by his trusty hags
That's Smoky Owl and Cancer Rat
and above the trees flew Ciggy Bat
( broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:21, archived)

This is what happens when you smoke povvo cigarettes

( Derpasaurus DOG FARTS, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

real men smoke filterless gauloises

( moohalaa, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

Give it until 25 seconds.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5xT96qRAaU
( Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

Everytime you post it feels like i'm being struck by lightning.
You know, burny and painful. Like syphilis.
( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:45, archived)

That'll be the syphilis I gave you, online.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:46, archived)

I'd totally sleep with you, unprotected, online.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

By which I mean have anal intercourse with me.
/ac
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

Online, yes.

( Master Of Turnips. Only gays and morons believe in ghosts., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

JINGLE BELLS, MOTHERFUCKER
/ac
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:53, archived)

You're the best b3tan ever, and are in no way shit OR mentally ill.
/ac
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:55, archived)

while your dad was having a wee on you
/ac
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

nah, had plenty of electric shocks tho
had a massive one once, 3phase buzz bar, ouch
( mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:47, archived)

But did you gain superpowers?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:48, archived)

AC is for puffs
try touching an high voltage DC supply
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:49, archived)

won't find one in my line of work, most dc is low voltage, we do have a 1000kva transformer on site but that is in a sub-station

( mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

That's busbar, you racist.
What voltage? I bet you had it rigged up to some 'bad blacks'
( Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

STOP IMPREGNATING SHEFFIELD WOMEN.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:54, archived)

I'm sorry the..
Sorry, YOUR child resembles me. I don't even look like Winston Churchill.
( Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

I said SHEFFIELD women.
There was a bairn in the GP's surgery that looked exactly like you.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

Ah, right. I'm sorry you had to witness that.
Did it have a geeky T shirt and everything?
( Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:02, archived)

415v, went across blue and yellow, blew my tester and go a smashing belt

( mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

You bell end.
I bet it stung a bit.
( Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:59, archived)

yeah it was very ouchy, it's ok now tho as we don't use so vibrante colours

( mongychops, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

Say what you like against Catholicism
I've got a day off tomorrow for the Solemnity of the Body and Blood of Christ
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:50, archived)

What the fuck is that one?
That's some made up Polish one.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:58, archived)

Corpus Christi
yes, it's all made up. We should be celebrating the Solidarity Round Table Talks instead, but fuck that, the Catholics are in charge.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:01, archived)

This is the second time today I've been looking up religious stuff on Wikipedia.
I don't remember having to traipse down to church for this one, but Wikipedia says it is a holy day of obligation and Wikipedia never lies.

Get to church then you cunt.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:04, archived)

Go fuck yourself
if I want to be patronised I'll watch the Teletubbies, who propagate a far more subscibeable belief system.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

Canon 1247 is really quite clear:
On Sundays and other holy days of obligation, the faithful are obliged to participate in the Mass.
Moreover they are to abstain from those works and affairs which hinder the worship to be rendered to God, the joy proper to the Lord’s day, or the suitable relaxation of mind and body.

Do you want to go to hell?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

Yes, off the coast of Brazil
got to go for a nice swim though, so it wasn't all bad
( broadsword, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:51, archived)

I once had a tiny arc from a 5,000 volt power supply ground on my finger.
The lads I was doing the experiment with were terrified of that supply, and the miniature radiation source. The wusses.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:52, archived)

The newsreader on Central Tonight sounds like Tom Baker.

( Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 22:56, archived)

this I must see
where is Central Tonight?
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

There's a clue in the name.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:07, archived)

That's Shitty Steve for you.

( Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:09, archived)

I feel like Central Tonight
Central Tonight
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:08, archived)

I once got struck by a visible inch-long static spark,
that seemed to have been emitted by nothing in particular. It left a small mark on my hand.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:00, archived)

It was a nail gun and you're the second coming.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

'Little Spacefish' juice, I'll be bound.

( Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:05, archived)

I got called an idiot
ONLINE
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:03, archived)

OMG

( Druid, Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:10, archived)

i've only just stopped crying

( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Wed 10 Jun 2009, 23:16, archived)