_     ____  _
                                            | |   |__  /| |_  ____ 
                       .    |     .         | |__   / / |  _|| _  |
                        \   |    /          | __ \ _\ \ | |_ ||_| |
                    `.   \  '   /   .'      |____/|___| |___||____|.
                      `. .-*""*-. .'       _     _  ___  _  ___      ___ __
                  "*-._ /.*"  "*.\ _.-*"   \ \/\/ /|__  /_\  |  |__||__ |__|
                       : -o-  -o- ; ____    \_/\_/ |___/   \ |  |  ||___|  \
                  """"':    ..    ;          _   _  _  ___  ___
                  _.-*" \ `.__.' / "*-._    | | | \| ||  _|| _ |
                      .' `-.__.-' `.        | | | |\ || |_ ||_||
                    .'   /   .  \   `.      |_| |_||_||_|  |___|
                        /    |   \      
                       '     |    `     
                               ___ \ ___    ___       ___            ___
        \.  -   -  .         |  |   |__    |__  |  | |    | / | |\ ||  _  
       '          _ , -`.    |  |   ___|   |    |__| |___ | \ | | \||___|
     '        _,'     _,'                         __   ___
    '      ,-'      _/                      |__| |  |   | 
   '    ,-' \     _/                        |  | |__|   |
  '   ,'     \  _'
  '  '       _\'
  ' ,    _,-'  \     _________  
  \,_,--'       \    \\_______\     DON’T FORGET TO USE FACTOR TEN GAZILLION
                 \    \\+=+=+=+\
                  \    \\=+=+=+=\                 SUN CREAM YOU FAT WONBBLY CUNTS
                   \    \\+=+=+=+\
                    \    \\=+=+=+=\________                AND LAY OFF THE PIES, LARDY!
                     \    \\+=+=+=+____----))
                      \    \`---------.)))\\
                       \   ||+=+=+=+=+=\\ /\\            WEATHER ADVICE FOR b3TA
                        \  ||___________\\/ \\           SPONSORED BY HOOD-BUTTER
                         \ ||------------\\                  INDUSTRIES Plc 
                          \||             \\    BRINGING IT TO YOU, RIGHT IN YOUR FAT FACE

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:05, archived)

*WONBBLES*

also, i have the afternoon off so fuck you, workers!
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)

I HOPE IT RAINS BEES

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

I HOPE IT HAILS WASPS RIGHT ON YOUR FACE

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

THEY'D BETTER NOT DAMAGE MY JAM BEARD AND MOUSTACHE

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

THEY'LL LICK IT THE FUCK RIGHT OFF
WITH THEIR TINY WASP TONGUES
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:25, archived)

AS NEAR THE TOP AS POSSIBLE!

(likeajackhammer, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

WHY?
HAVE YOU GOT SOMETHING OF GROUND-SHATTERING IMPORTANCE TO SAY?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

I can't believe you just asked this on /talk

( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

hey, there's always a first time for everything

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

I DO.
I'M BACK, BABY.
( sleepybinky, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:45, archived)

Did you have a good time?
More importantly, did you wear the cathat?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:48, archived)

i find this whole furry/peado thing causes me great offence, could we leave our sick sexual fantasys to one side and keep the board free from nonce behavior
no offence
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:51, archived)

offe
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)

BINKY!
*grabs and throws up in the air*
*catches... just*
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:53, archived)

I am feeling very fat and pasty
and spotty.
( DeSpong currently knitting your suggestions - see profile, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:06, archived)

Bitch

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:07, archived)

o.a.t is 24.6 in ec4 at the moment
phew what a scorcher eh? aircon is needed
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

ec4 eh?
you are suspiciously near me.

And yes aircon is needed, there is only one room on my floor with aircon, the Deans office. Some animals are more equal than others eh?
(Goatse not a comedy account, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:39, archived)

i suggest sitting in your pants till they install aircon for all
not that i have any aircon myself
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 10:03, archived)

WEATHER.

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:09, archived)

it's the new craze that's sweeping the nation, never before have we seen such an outbreak of weather
still never mind that, what's for lunch?
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:15, archived)

lunch?
are you asking me out? i dont date.
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

good lord no, that is not how i roll
i was just asking what foodstuffs you would be consuming at lunch time
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

my mummy made me a little chikkin sammmywiggle with love and huggles
how many pints will you be consuming at lunch time
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

nyom nyom
i have no idea what the day holds for me yet
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

of course

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:24, archived)

i now know what the day holds, i'm less than thrilled by the prospect, it involves work
:((((((((
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

thats karma for early knock off yesterday
gutted
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:37, archived)

I saw some cracking karma in action at the weekend
Someone jumped the queue at a petrol station when people were waiting to let some old lady move her car, he blocked in this old lady and on the way back to his car dropped and broke his glasses.
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:42, archived)

i bet they werent even his
i bet he ripped them off some old cunts face and then pissed on his shopping
( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:58, archived)

ballsacks, i was very busy yesterday

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:49, archived)

+ in the pub

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

24 under par at bayhill, and a hole in one, great times

( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:59, archived)

hot weather is cunt
fuck off hot weather
( Gilgamesh gazed in wonder as Frampton came alive, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:10, archived)

I should like to point out that this is my policy also
I'm all about meteorological mediocrity
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

It's a bit drizzly

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:10, archived)

I hear that happens when you get older.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

youd know

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

he's well old
frankly it's disgusting
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

hes practically dead

( rosalicious i fucking love youve been framed, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

*CHECKS HOURGLASS*

STILL SOME TIME TO GO YET. NOT FAR OFF NOW, THOUGH.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:31, archived)

*runs out crying*
I HATE YOU ALL
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:33, archived)

runs?
bit optimistic, innit grandad?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

Hush up trollop.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:21, archived)

Convenes are the way forward

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

I'm not fat.
I'm pregnant. you insensitive bastard.
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:10, archived)

You will only give birth to a pie.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

I'm going to call it Chicknmushroom

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:12, archived)

Also - not much need for suncream as I'm part ramajan raghead!

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

I was born black but I got better.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:16, archived)

I HAVE RAIN

( WHARRGARBL, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:10, archived)

That sun has paedo eyes.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Well spotted.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:14, archived)

I might sit in the garden later. After I've done some cleaning.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

I bought some citronella candles to keep the outside out there
Nasty flying outside. Plus my celtic complexion needs protection from the elements. I like inside better.

*pales*
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:17, archived)

My celtic complexion quite likes the sunshine.
I don't like the flying outside so much.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

if you want rid of flying insects i can recomend deet, 95% jungle formula deet
just don't put it on your hands and scratch your balls, it burns like fire down there
( mongychops, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:20, archived)

Do they do it in several delicious flavours?

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

mind you
it's fuck all good in the actual jungle.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)

it's pissing it down here CHB

( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:11, archived)

Blimey!
It's hotter than a camel's fart here.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:13, archived)

I am sulking about it on facebook

( Mrs Sp@m, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:18, archived)

I'm hoping for a massive storm sometime soon
A storm the likes of which this world has never seen before. Then we can all ride the mighty Shai-Hulud whilst worshiping the Kwisatz Haderach
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:15, archived)

I agree.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:19, archived)

we do seem overdue
for a big crashy bangy storm
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:22, archived)

They are great to watch out here in the Fens.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:23, archived)

people survive getting hit by lightning, right?
do you think if i go and wave a big metal pole around in a storm, i might get superpowers?
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

BURNT FACE MAN

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:28, archived)

he can fly, that'd do me

( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:35, archived)

So are traffic lights

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:26, archived)

i bet they still point at planes
up there
( manolith hooray for me, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:36, archived)

There are lots of low flying USAF planes today.
Has there been a new war announced? I missed the news on Radio 4 this morning.
( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:41, archived)

There were a few tear arsing up the Ribble Valley yesterday
Some kind of exercise I reckon. Or a war.
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)

gods dammit

( VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 30 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)