According to the tips sheet in the pack of paper I just opened the Dutch for 'Avoid' is 'Wat u beter niet doet'.
Is someone at Ilford yanking my chain?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:15, archived)

and the Swedish pharmacist says
"Ball or aerosol?"
"Neither. It's for my armpits."
(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:16, archived)

This smith and jones joke really doesn't work written down.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:16, archived)

I geddit...

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:33, archived)

I got it when I read it in a Swedish accent.

( Major Turd for tonight only, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:36, archived)

It took me a while.
I had to get a friend in, we studied it for 15 solid minutes before the alarm bells rang.

DING DING DING!
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)

lol it sounds like 'what you better not do' lol

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:16, archived)

It's making me all suspicious.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)

I dunno
I have a toy sheep on my printer, Malchick bought it for me ages and ages ago. I like Malchick.
( jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:16, archived)

Why would you avoid opening a pack of paper?

( executiverocker only wears C&A, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:17, archived)

monsters

( jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)

Mummy always said there were no monsters. No real ones

( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)

She's lying
All Mummys are fibbers.
( jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

My mummy is a mad in the head fibber.

( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:24, archived)

We all are.
Our children take our brain cells and piss on them.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)

I don't know but it's too late now.
I ripped that baby wide open. Hell yeah.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)

And then opened your paper.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)

Hell yeah.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)

If you had an overwhelming fear of papercuts.

( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)

or bears

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)

Bears don't come in paper, they come in Goldilocks, the mucky slut.

( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

in case it contained a bear

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:19, archived)

A bare what?

( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:21, archived)

There on the stair.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

Where on the stair?

( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:23, archived)

Next to the bear :(

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:29, archived)

grrrrrrrrr

( jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:31, archived)

You're not really a grizzly, more like a koala.

( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:42, archived)

fuck off am I cuddly
but I may be stoned out of my head.
( jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:44, archived)

You're right, koalas are all off their tits.

( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:46, archived)

"What you should not do".
A plausible translation.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)

never mind that
www.bigguts.com/forum/showthread.php?t=3418
( well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:18, archived)

what b3tan is that lol

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:20, archived)

Lu.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

it's the posts of encouragement from the other forum members that are the most disturbing

( well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:23, archived)

"Wow fantastic growth keep it up"

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)

"I smuggled my camera into the bathroom without my parents noticing by putting it under my belly rolls."
:/
( well, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)

they probably wouldn't notice if it smuggled a film crew in there

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:40, archived)

Imagine a smokers' forum like that?
TABS wrote: I managed 220 yesterday, cant breth today lol still 30 below my target anyone got a light?

NICK O'TINE wrote: WOW thats amaizing!!!! Keep it up u will get there soon only on 180 a day myslef lol but gettin there ;)
( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:46, archived)

All the cool people die young.
Therefore, if they die young, they'll be cool.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:50, archived)

"20lb gained. 180lb below target weight"
Fucking hell
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)

I blame James Cordon and Ruth Jones.
It's all their fault.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)

He could be wearing pants in any one of those photos.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

What the hell?

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:24, archived)

One moob up, one moob down.
Nice touch.
( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:26, archived)

It's like looking at a picture of Marty Feldman
only remade with a fat mans tits.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)

IIII, ain't got nobooooody!
Liar.
( Druid, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:42, archived)

Ha ha! BOGGLE-NIPPED!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:27, archived)

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:29, archived)

Don't worry Esme, you'll get there.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:29, archived)

You cunt.

( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:30, archived)

lololol

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:35, archived)

It's a very small black modesty square isn't it?

( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:33, archived)

And just how big would your modesty square need to be?
Hmmm?
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:36, archived)

Oh is that you?
Sorry.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:38, archived)

I just wish you lot would show a little more appreciation of the hard work I've been putting in.
It's not easy in this weather.
( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:40, archived)

Go on,
You could up your quota of lard ice lollies.
( The Cat's Mother Not a People Person., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:41, archived)

That's because his folds of fat hide anything there may be to see
*shudders*
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:47, archived)

It's another head in hands moment brought to us all by Pickle Fairy.

( Neptune A dole queue dosser and foul mouthed chav., Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:48, archived)

I do my best
:)
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:49, archived)

but.... but......
I'm actually lost for words.
( jenpots, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:37, archived)

Doesn't look like it.

( mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:38, archived)

well well well,
this isn't right, or is it?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:50, archived)

follow your dreams, you can achieve your goals
i'm living proof
( spacefish bong!, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 21:08, archived)

Nah, they're pulling your leg

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:21, archived)

Thats what you should not do
So yes!
(b3tard Has converted to Reason, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:22, archived)

Gino Ginelli

( (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Thu 2 Jul 2009, 20:28, archived)