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Don't get me started
pretty much everything.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 13:57, archived)
wait, job, that is
the rest is hunky dory.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:01, archived)
Cr3 BEATS YOU
Cr3 BEATS YOU
Cr3 BEATS YOU
Cr3 BEATS YOU
Cr3 BEATS YOU
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:02, archived)
at scrabble!

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:02, archived)
He only does it because he loves you

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:03, archived)
I'm fairly sure "spangolin" is worth more points than "cr3".
In fact, I'm fairly sure there aren't any number tiles, unless you put an E upsidedown or used a blank tile.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:32, archived)
or tip ex a bit out a B

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:34, archived)
This is certainly rule breaking stuff.
I can't imagine people living that dangerously.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:39, archived)
I reckon spangolin would kick the fuck out of him.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:03, archived)
Aw I could never hurt the cr3
Plus he's wirystrong. All that climbing, see.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:05, archived)
Be that as it may
he drunkenly hugged me at a bash once and I was walking around for a good twenty minutes with him hanging off me before I realised he hadn't stopped. And you're short, so you fight dirty.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:07, archived)
Like a limpet
and I do. Mostly out of necessity though, I can't reach above the waist on tall people.
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:08, archived)
I shall be considering this.
At GREAT length.
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:09, archived)
ha
*right hook*
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:10, archived)
I bet you plan your fights like he does in Sherlock Holmes

(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:11, archived)
First, distract target
Block his blind jab
Counter with cross to left cheek
Discombobulate
(I helped save b3ta! Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:14, archived)

Discombobulate ENVOLVE
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:32, archived)
Owwww
*numb calf*
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:12, archived)
did it come untucked from your sock?

(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:13, archived)
wait I'll get a chair
then I can punch your knee
(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:15, archived)
She'll pummel your scrotum like a boxing speed ball.

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:13, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/6723588
(I helped save b3ta! Flapjack I spay a little mare for you, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:16, archived)
EXTREME TEABAGGING.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:30, archived)
She'd leap between the pores on his skin and hack him up from the inside.
Like Innerspace meets Saw.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:09, archived)
I rekon they both just pat at each other, grandually working thier way towards each other's crotches.
den dey hav sex.
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:09, archived)
There's more flailing but that's pretty much it

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:10, archived)
*pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat pat *
*pat pat pat pat pat pat pat *
*pat pat pat Oh heeelllooooooooooooooooo SHLOOPSHLOOPSHLOOPSHLOOPSHLOOPSHLOOPSHLOOP etc*
(I helped save b3ta! Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:12, archived)
at which point, the screaming starts.
The chickens always worry because they think it's foxes.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:11, archived)
YIFF YIFF etc

(I helped save b3ta! spangolin - the odds are good but the goods are odd, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:16, archived)
I'm imagining you saying "YIFF YIFF" like the Yip Yip Martians from Sesame Street.

(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:18, archived)
Ah, the unmitigated joy of "angry sex".

(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:11, archived)
See also:
the colossal danger wank.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:31, archived)
which is...

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:33, archived)
When you
shout downstairs "MUM! DAD! HEEELP ME! QUICKLY!" and try and spunk before your parents run into the room.
(I helped save b3ta! Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:35, archived)
well, any dangerwank
but with higher levels of danger. Wanking whilst presenting newsnight. Wanking during a conference call. Wanking during sunday lunch with the vicar. That kind of thing.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:39, archived)
Wanking during sunday lunch with the vicar.
That's not a danger wank, that's practically expected.
(I helped save b3ta! The Teviot Moose major 5th., Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:40, archived)
Maybe with YOUR vicar.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:41, archived)
what about wanking while walking a tightrope over a crocodile pit?

(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:46, archived)
Hmmm.
Certainly in the ballpark. I think, strictly, the activity itself needs to be fairly risk-free, such that the danger comes solely from the masturbatory element. But it's not an exact science, of course.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:48, archived)
OK
What about a businessman twist on the old 'shouting downstairs to your mum' one?

Pressing the stewardess call button on a business class flight and trying to time it just right so that you can clean up with the hot towel.
(I helped save b3ta! RR I love you ... in a way, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:52, archived)
hahaha. cunt.
it's a good job i'd already finished my tea or it would be new laptop time.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:56, archived)
How about wanking when on a random picture website?
"Tits....tits....arse....tits....tits....SPLATTERED CAT!...tits..."
(I helped save b3ta! Theoban What of it, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:51, archived)
This, I believe, is the classic "random shuffle" dangerwank

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 11 Mar 2010, 14:56, archived)