There are few things more pathetic than the sight of two fat, boring heffers with melty faces snogging each other at a party in a desperate bid to get some attention and establish themselves as somehow interesting.
While being permanently on the blob.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:17, archived)

And wobbling.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:20, archived)

On the internent.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:20, archived)

And being a weeble.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:26, archived)

Weebles wobble, but they don't stop bleeding out of their vaginas. ever.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:29, archived)

In case it is in anyway unclear here; I'm refering to Blue Star and INRBM.
"Ooh! I don't know why we always end up doing this! *giggle* *wobble*"
is right up there with PB's chatting up a girl while she was sat with her boyfriend for pathetic bashaviour.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:20, archived)

I Not Real BaldMonkey?
I'm not really blobby material?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:23, archived)

NOOB!

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:24, archived)

back off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:28, archived)

Is for the cancer?
The ant child can be tin opened for laugh and drown?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:25, archived)

Does that photo we took of you blowing your nose with an extra long bit of toilet roll with a message written on it pointing at a rather confused looking PB still exist?

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:23, archived)

Dunno.
Who took it?
Was it Brayndedd?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:24, archived)

Me I think.
Dunno what I did with it.
It were online somewhere.
Brian dead was too busy headbutting people.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:27, archived)

your nose with an extra long bit of toilet roll with a message written on it pointing at a rather confused looking
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:46, archived)

Too far, dude.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:48, archived)

What have I done? :-(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:51, archived)

I could cope if it were just about anyone else you strike-throughed me into sucking off. Anyone.
But that is way too far.
Even Mrs CHB wouldn't suck him off, and, as we all now know, she's a slag.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:56, archived)

incase of lurking diclaimer:
I don't mean this The-Talker-Previously-Known-As-Mrs-CHB. Soz.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:57, archived)

I'd love to see you say that to CHB.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, archived)

I think he'd give me a pat on the back now.
Unless he thought I meant the present Mrs CHB. Who I've never met. But I did see a photo of her arse that PB took. But we don't mention that.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:01, archived)

I don't think he'd be that fussed any more

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:02, archived)

Oh, well that's OK then.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:10, archived)

It's that bloke who is like a PB-clone who is nobbing her now.
Can't remember his name. Met him in Birmingham. He was a prick.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:16, archived)

There's another of him?
Jesus. That's messed up. Not that supposedly ex-forces twat XXX888 or whatever the fuck he was called, by any chance?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:17, archived)

Ha! No.
He's been around on other boards for ages. I'd know his name if someone said it.
And yeah, he's identical in every way. Apart from being a smidge taller. Looks, mannerisms, attitude, content, boringation.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:22, archived)

Rotating Wobbly Hat?

( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:23, archived)

THAT'S THE ONE!
Jesus he was dull. And he wouldn't fuck off.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:28, archived)

How do you fancy organising a bash
Then killing everyone at it? I reckon if you made a nice hot curry then nobody would taste the strychnine.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:32, archived)

got it in one

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:30, archived)

Manolith is tall,
is it Manolith?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:24, archived)

Manolith is one of the most amiable, pleasant and tolerable people I've ever met.
How dare you liken him to PB? I hope this finds you unwell?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:30, archived)

MANOLITH; A very tolerable person.
In a survey of 29 women, 17 agreed.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:31, archived)

He IS lovely isn't he?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:36, archived)

here comes the science!
i am full of pentapeptides and l. casei immunitas
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:39, archived)

PB sounds exactly like a guy I went to school with,
I wonder if he is dead now.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:41, archived)

you've seen the stand up, right?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:43, archived)

it is not manolith

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:38, archived)

how do you know?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:39, archived)

i've been keeping tabs on him
he's a deeply suspicious individual
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:44, archived)

you should ban him, ban him hard.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:48, archived)

I didn't mean it,
I hear you're lovely.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:43, archived)

The whole bash thing seems to have died on its arse.
Not entirely but there are far fewer than there used to be. I guess that's because the only people left here are the truly antisocial and the needy (those groups are not mutually exclusive) who nobody in their right mind would ever want to meet.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:29, archived)

Except I imagine the majority of the people left were regular bashers.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:32, archived)

OK perhaps it's just the organisers who have left
Anyway, who went to bashes in the first place apart from needy types?
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:34, archived)

Well, yes, there is that.
The people that organised them were generally needy types with big houses, or needy types that actually left the house sometimes to find out which pub would be best for a large group of recluses
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:45, archived)

I'm holding a year long bash here
But none of you fuckers ever turn up
( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:35, archived)

MY COCK SMELLS OF CHEESEY VINEGAR.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:35, archived)

I went to one exceptionally painful one where some prick did the most cringeworthy exageration of his online persona by smashing up a keyboard with a sledgehammer.
Moreover, he made everyone sit and watch him like he was something special.
That was enough to put me off the proper bashes.
I only meet up with the people I like occassionally now.
Secret bashes FTW.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:40, archived)

It wasn't you was it?

( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:41, archived)

the keyboard represented an orchestra
the sledgehammer represented his piss
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:44, archived)

It was him.
I had to watch. I mean, I had to, it was at CHB's an he's an ex special forces or something and if we hadn't watched he'd have shot us.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:44, archived)

I prefer to pretend it wasn't.
I'm deeply ashamed of it.
It was someone else's idea and I agreed to it. I'm going to pretend reluctantly.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:46, archived)

I tried looking on YouTube for the video
All I could find was fucking Keyboard Cat.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, archived)

why didn't you smash his face in with the sledgehammer?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:45, archived)

Who was it?

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:46, archived)

A stupid fat ballbag.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:48, archived)

It sounds like something a stupid fat ballbag would do.
Why wasn't I invited to attend this farce?
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:50, archived)

You're dull as fuck.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:54, archived)

Go shove a MONO! up your cockend and shit out a dullard

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, archived)

go shove a bumhole up your cockend and shit out a MONO!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:00, archived)

I'm totally not inviting you to my AWESOME BUMHOLE BASH now.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:03, archived)

FINE.
You and Adam have a great time then. Cunt.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:04, archived)

If I ever met Adam, I'd probably hammer him in the groin, just to be sure he can't infect the world with dullardism

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:07, archived)

I'll bash your bumhole in a bit.
Um, I mean...never mind.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:16, archived)

There was a secret bash last night.
Bet you didn't know that, eh?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:47, archived)

I never get invited to anything.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:50, archived)

I seem to have upset a lot of people over the last few years.
On account of being a prick.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:50, archived)

I say 'bash',
actually me and Flapjack had some dim sum and a few beers.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:55, archived)

LOL
I saw the video of this online. What a fucking stupid prick.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:52, archived)

It's a shame they don't happen more often
And closer to where I live. There's a whole load of B3tans I'd really like to meet.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:55, archived)

Organise a Portsmouth bash then.
Go out to a pub and club then back to your house for a piss-up.

I think there used to be quite a few Portsmouth bashes, sure there used to be a disproportionate number of b3tans down that direction.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:02, archived)

If I were a needy prick I'd probably live down there.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:04, archived)

Yeah, maybe in the summer I will
At the moment it's just me, Balders and Manolith as far as I'm aware. I know that there are some people not too far away. Hmm....
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:07, archived)

I'd come*
I probably wouldn't come.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:08, archived)

I'd invite you*
I'd probably not, etc
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:13, archived)