LESBIANS!
Right, now I have your attention, what are your thoughts on lesbians?

Alt: weekend plans? Hope this finds you well?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 7:39, archived)

I know many. Like 6 or something.
They are all astoundingly filthy bitches to be honest.

Weekend plans = working.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 7:59, archived)

YES!
I KNEW IT!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:29, archived)

Hey Two Hats.
You know that bit when Adam left b3ta?
That was good.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:00, archived)

I ain't got no beef with the Frisbee

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:05, archived)

he said your hats look silly.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:06, archived)

:O

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:06, archived)

INORITE!!!
He was all like :| and I was all like :O and he was all like :P I was all like XO======#
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:12, archived)

THAT FUCKING PRICK IS A DEAD MAN
Nah, he's alright him
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:11, archived)

He's a prick.
Wake up and smell the prick.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:14, archived)

There are very few people here that aren't pricks on some level
I got Zen & the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance for my birthday. Have you read it?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:16, archived)

No.
It's a prick's book.
You'll be reading Terry Pratchetttt next.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:19, archived)

I'm such a prick :(

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:19, archived)

You cockend

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:19, archived)

I have
It's tedious, long-winded crap.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:21, archived)

Oh
Ah well, I'm going to read it anyway. It was a gift innit?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:22, archived)

Who from?
Kick their face off.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:24, archived)

My inlaws

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:26, archived)

Read the first couple of chapters to get a feel for it
Then put it on the shelf to finish off at a later date. It doesn't get any better. Honestly, I found The Gulag Archipelago to be a more interesting read and that's 600 pages of constant whinging.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:29, archived)

Fair enough

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:32, archived)

SPOILER: it's shit.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:11, archived)

The only useful thing I learned from that book
Was that carburettors need to be adjusted to allow a higher air to fuel ratio at altitude. Or perhaps that's only if you ride a ropey old bike.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:14, archived)

nobody trusts your opinions anymore, jaylia

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:14, archived)

She's 100% spot-on with this one.

( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:16, archived)

She's been divested of her Opinion Robes
The great Crow of Thought no longer caws at her head
( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:16, archived)

it is as foretold in the prophecy

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:21, archived)

WHY NOT?
i'm a biker and everything. and robert m. pirsig is full of shit.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:19, archived)

because of that bogus shit you said about BttF

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:21, archived)

he's not really though.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:15, archived)

YOU'RE HE'S NOT REALLY THOUGH!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:16, archived)

TRIFLE!!!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:18, archived)

which time was your favourite?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:06, archived)

That bit where he wasn't here.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:07, archived)

Actually the bit where I wasn't here was probably pretty good, but I wasn't here so I couldn't possibly comment.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:08, archived)

I got no beef with Adam.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:08, archived)

BEEF RIS!!
An anagram of Frisbee.
Coincidence?
Or is Adam an almighty prick?
I hope this finds you well?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:10, archived)

Haha, you're alright you are

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:12, archived)

Haha, you're alright you are I touched your missus.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:13, archived)

Honestly, I feel sorry for him.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:14, archived)

If you're judging me by what I say here I think you're doing something very wrong.
Just saying.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:17, archived)

I'm judging you by the fact you're clearly a loser.
I'd probably liken you to PB.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:19, archived)

Here. Don't you start defending yourself or I might just delete this whole thing.
GOD, you just can't get the victims nowadays.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:19, archived)

Hey Maffers, how's tricks?

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:20, archived)

Not bad MONO old chap.
Yourself?
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:20, archived)

I need a poo.
Other than that this finds me well?
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:25, archived)

Good.
I'm busting for a piss but I'm not moving.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:27, archived)

I bet I can hold mine in longer than you.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:28, archived)

Don't give me that.
You've proabably just had a piss and want me to wet myself.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:29, archived)

I've just had a poo.
Didn't need a wee.
Though I did a little wee anyway.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:37, archived)

If you can't white knight yourself then there's just no hope for any of us :(

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:23, archived)

Quick, somebody write there was no hope for him anyway.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:28, archived)

BAAAAWWWHAWHAWHAAAW!
*runs away crying*
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:35, archived)

Christ.
You're like a repeat of every prick we've ever had here.
At some point they all try that argument.
And it always turns out they actually are pricks in real life too.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:20, archived)

I'm a clear example of this.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:20, archived)

I'm exactly the same here as I am in real life
Judge away, all of you
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:21, archived)

I bet you don't even wear one fucking hat.
Let alone two, you bi-hatted fanny.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:22, archived)

Actually, that much is true
I own three hats, but I very rarely wear them.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:23, archived)

EVERY WORD FROM YOUR MOUTH IS A FUCKING LIE.
I HOPE YOU DIE IN POVERTY WITH NOT A HAT TO YOUR NAME.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:25, archived)

:(

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:33, archived)

Buried standing up for the whole world to see your hatless shame.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:42, archived)

I'm a lie,
there is no dog, or pub, or house, or ladypig, or car. I'm fatter than baldmonkey.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:22, archived)

you're not even ginger, are you?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:23, archived)

totally hairless.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:24, archived)

oh pigster, what a web of lies :'(

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:33, archived)

we're judging your b3ta persona on what you say here.
that's why we all think you're an online cunt.
since so much of that is tedious blogs about your real life the conclusion drawn is you're a tedious cunt offline.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:22, archived)

I love it when you talk dirty.
Touch me
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:24, archived)

As I'm in being nice to Adam mode,
I think it's best you drop it before you get all smug again.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:25, archived)

I think it's best if he fucks off.
Both online and offline.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:27, archived)

Upset at Frisbee, online.

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:29, archived)

upset at bored by
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:33, archived)

Very easy to get those two confused apparently

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:34, archived)

Oh alright then.
New thread?
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:27, archived)

I'm off to work,
sorry
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:42, archived)

I'd best get back to it.
Lemme know when you want me to start one
x
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:45, archived)

Shut up, Adam.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:50, archived)

Nerp

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:03, archived)

go shove a frisbee up your cockend and shit out a subway wrap.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:26, archived)

I've stopped eating subway :(
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:31, archived)

TOO GOOD FOR SUBWAY EH?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:48, archived)

Cunts have character.
He's a prick.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:26, archived)

you really don't like him BM, you should send him a nail bomb.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:27, archived)

Like that little mole your missus has?

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:27, archived)

are you not worried it's you who is turning them?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:29, archived)

Good morning Mr. Hats
This finds me well.
It's not the weekend yet, what do you think I am? some kind of weekend planner? well I'm not I'm MONO! and I don't plan weekends all day every day.
Lesbians are women that like other women.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:01, archived)

But they're those chicks that like other chicks

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:29, archived)

I know right.
Those dames that like other dames.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:35, archived)

I'm off to work in a mo
But I'm taking tomorrow off so I can recover from the pub tonight, hope this is ok, lots of love, see you when I get to work, xx Theo xx
( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:09, archived)

bye honey, love you x

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:28, archived)

I'm here now
And things are broke, I leave this place for a few hours and it goes to hell
( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:00, archived)

Anyway lesbians are shit
We don't need fewer women that like dick, we need more. Every lesbian is a waste of a fanny
( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:15, archived)

Lesoban.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:20, archived)

lesbians?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xinLivR8Sp0&feature=youtube_gdata_player
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:14, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8a3jRInVhoM&feature=related
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:17, archived)

I recently acquired this movie
Any good?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:47, archived)

I love it.

( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:52, archived)

that's good enough for me
Cheers
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:58, archived)

Ah, good times

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:46, archived)

I was a bit all over the place last night and feel a bit worse for wear.
I entered the image compo and posted a link, I dunno if I was on qotw as well, but I don't wanna look.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:48, archived)

haha
Ah well. Could be worse....or COULD IT?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:53, archived)

Aw shit we're losing him
Soon he'll have a 'woo yay hoopla' gif and he'll be putting people on ignore for saying that traced shit is shit :(:(:(:(:(
( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:01, archived)

I'll ignore you in a minute.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:18, archived)

You'll have to get a list on your profile, Pasanononic style telling the whole world who you ignore

( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:18, archived)

I do love a good list.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:21, archived)

l f

Ah, classic.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:48, archived)

I don't understand why the majority of lesbians go for women who look like men. I'm not critisicisicng it; I just don't understand it.
Alt: Panic? Panic?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:51, archived)

Dunno, this requires further research
Alt: come to my house on Saturday. I have....ways of calming people
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:55, archived)

You filthy gay

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:59, archived)

Jel?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:48, archived)

Theoban?

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:02, archived)

What happen here

( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:03, archived)

You are a bully.
And your bum smells of marbles.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:05, archived)

Aw man you can smell it all the way from Plymouth?
I dunno if I can cope with this news, might top meself
( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:06, archived)

Marbles up, beat, spunk.
Don't kill yourself Theoban. SBP is my lifebelt in a sea of confusion.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:08, archived)

I did another one this morning
Inspired by the West Wing cos I've been watching a lot of the West Wing.

True story man
( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:10, archived)

Depends on taste.
Some women like the androgynous type.

Mrs Eddache is bi-sexual but likes her women to be very womanly.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:06, archived)

By very womanly do you mean always cooking and cleaning and knitting?
Or just big norks?
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:10, archived)

Probably both norks and cleaning
She likes cooking
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:16, archived)

Does she make a good pie?
Good tits and good pie, that's all I look for in a woman.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:20, archived)

Her pies are the best

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:23, archived)

Can I have a go?

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:23, archived)

On the pies not your missus*
*and your missus.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:23, archived)

I'll have to ask her.
I'll let you know.
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:28, archived)

Do you think she'd dress up as a slutty Velma if we asked her?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:51, archived)

Sweet Zombie Jesus.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:02, archived)

Oh come on
You don't know until you ask, right?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:05, archived)

I think I need to change my pants.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:06, archived)

It's always worth checking

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:20, archived)

GOOD LAD!
Tell her I said hi...in fact, do that before you ask her about the Scooby Doo thing.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:23, archived)

I'm aware that it doesn't apply to all lesbians.
But I don't understand it in the ones it does apply to.
But as I say, I am not criticizing it at all.
I really really really like crazyjude and her wife. They are brilliant people.
It's just, I'm attracted to women, and this makes me attracted the most to women who look like women. So the whole thing confuses the hell out of me.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:12, archived)

i thought it was only internet women and teenagers that were bisexual
but i now know 2 proper women who like a bit of both. hooray!
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:56, archived)

But will they let you watch?
Will they fuck
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:14, archived)

will they fuck?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:27, archived)

scissoring?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:31, archived)

This isn't the case.
Plenty of them like girly girls, it's not all about the crew cuts and dungarees.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:20, archived)

Well, percentages of dungarees to dresses, aside,
I still don't understand it.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:23, archived)

Well some gaymos like girly men, don't they?
As do some women, come to that. All part of life's rich* tapestry.

*indescribably perverted
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:32, archived)

It's more noticable in lesbians.
But, yeah, some poofs and correct people are similarly mistaken.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:36, archived)

LEARN ABOUT POOFS
Still got that saved somewhere...
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:45, archived)

+h
because that's what i read it as, first time
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:57, archived)

I'm off to work now
Thanks, love you, bye x
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 8:59, archived)

Prick

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:00, archived)

FUCK YOU
I love you
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:49, archived)

Well it is international women's day
BRING THE QUIM!
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:00, archived)

A WOMAN at work has given me some Aero bars because I sorted her tyres out for her last night.
I don't like Nestlé chocolate, but it is a nice thought.
Nestlé chocolate tastes of dust and sand.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:01, archived)

And nestle abuse children in third world countries, or something.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:03, archived)

Meh.
I don't get all this shit about saving third world children. They'll only grow up and make more children who need saving.
Disease and famine are nature's way of promoting white supremacy. We should respect that.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:06, archived)

Survival of the fittest n all that jazz.
I agree whole heartedly.
Which is unlike me as usually I'm a bit half arsed.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:09, archived)

Clearly mother earth wants us to kill all the blacks.
Our trying to save them is what is making her angry, so she is melting the icecaps to punish us.
Prevent global warming; promote ethnic cleansing.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:14, archived)

*gets behind*
but not in a gay way, honest.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:22, archived)

Real ones?
Or 'lesbians' who once snogged their BFF, while drunk at a party, in order to impress some boys?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:09, archived)

There are few things more pathetic than the sight of two fat, boring heffers with melty faces snogging each other at a party in a desperate bid to get some attention and establish themselves as somehow interesting.
While being permanently on the blob.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:17, archived)

And wobbling.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:20, archived)

On the internent.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:20, archived)

And being a weeble.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:26, archived)

Weebles wobble, but they don't stop bleeding out of their vaginas. ever.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:29, archived)

In case it is in anyway unclear here; I'm refering to Blue Star and INRBM.
"Ooh! I don't know why we always end up doing this! *giggle* *wobble*"
is right up there with PB's chatting up a girl while she was sat with her boyfriend for pathetic bashaviour.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:20, archived)

I Not Real BaldMonkey?
I'm not really blobby material?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:23, archived)

NOOB!

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:24, archived)

back off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:28, archived)

Is for the cancer?
The ant child can be tin opened for laugh and drown?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:25, archived)

Does that photo we took of you blowing your nose with an extra long bit of toilet roll with a message written on it pointing at a rather confused looking PB still exist?

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:23, archived)

Dunno.
Who took it?
Was it Brayndedd?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:24, archived)

Me I think.
Dunno what I did with it.
It were online somewhere.
Brian dead was too busy headbutting people.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:27, archived)

your nose with an extra long bit of toilet roll with a message written on it pointing at a rather confused looking
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:46, archived)

Too far, dude.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:48, archived)

What have I done? :-(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:51, archived)

I could cope if it were just about anyone else you strike-throughed me into sucking off. Anyone.
But that is way too far.
Even Mrs CHB wouldn't suck him off, and, as we all now know, she's a slag.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:56, archived)

incase of lurking diclaimer:
I don't mean this The-Talker-Previously-Known-As-Mrs-CHB. Soz.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:57, archived)

I'd love to see you say that to CHB.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, archived)

I think he'd give me a pat on the back now.
Unless he thought I meant the present Mrs CHB. Who I've never met. But I did see a photo of her arse that PB took. But we don't mention that.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:01, archived)

I don't think he'd be that fussed any more

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:02, archived)

Oh, well that's OK then.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:10, archived)

It's that bloke who is like a PB-clone who is nobbing her now.
Can't remember his name. Met him in Birmingham. He was a prick.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:16, archived)

There's another of him?
Jesus. That's messed up. Not that supposedly ex-forces twat XXX888 or whatever the fuck he was called, by any chance?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:17, archived)

Ha! No.
He's been around on other boards for ages. I'd know his name if someone said it.
And yeah, he's identical in every way. Apart from being a smidge taller. Looks, mannerisms, attitude, content, boringation.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:22, archived)

Rotating Wobbly Hat?

( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:23, archived)

THAT'S THE ONE!
Jesus he was dull. And he wouldn't fuck off.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:28, archived)

How do you fancy organising a bash
Then killing everyone at it? I reckon if you made a nice hot curry then nobody would taste the strychnine.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:32, archived)

got it in one

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:30, archived)

Manolith is tall,
is it Manolith?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:24, archived)

Manolith is one of the most amiable, pleasant and tolerable people I've ever met.
How dare you liken him to PB? I hope this finds you unwell?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:30, archived)

MANOLITH; A very tolerable person.
In a survey of 29 women, 17 agreed.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:31, archived)

He IS lovely isn't he?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:36, archived)

here comes the science!
i am full of pentapeptides and l. casei immunitas
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:39, archived)

PB sounds exactly like a guy I went to school with,
I wonder if he is dead now.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:41, archived)

you've seen the stand up, right?

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:43, archived)

it is not manolith

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:38, archived)

how do you know?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:39, archived)

i've been keeping tabs on him
he's a deeply suspicious individual
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:44, archived)

you should ban him, ban him hard.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:48, archived)

I didn't mean it,
I hear you're lovely.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:43, archived)

The whole bash thing seems to have died on its arse.
Not entirely but there are far fewer than there used to be. I guess that's because the only people left here are the truly antisocial and the needy (those groups are not mutually exclusive) who nobody in their right mind would ever want to meet.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:29, archived)

Except I imagine the majority of the people left were regular bashers.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:32, archived)

OK perhaps it's just the organisers who have left
Anyway, who went to bashes in the first place apart from needy types?
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:34, archived)

Well, yes, there is that.
The people that organised them were generally needy types with big houses, or needy types that actually left the house sometimes to find out which pub would be best for a large group of recluses
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:45, archived)

I'm holding a year long bash here
But none of you fuckers ever turn up
( Theoban What of it, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:35, archived)

MY COCK SMELLS OF CHEESEY VINEGAR.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:35, archived)

I went to one exceptionally painful one where some prick did the most cringeworthy exageration of his online persona by smashing up a keyboard with a sledgehammer.
Moreover, he made everyone sit and watch him like he was something special.
That was enough to put me off the proper bashes.
I only meet up with the people I like occassionally now.
Secret bashes FTW.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:40, archived)

It wasn't you was it?

( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:41, archived)

the keyboard represented an orchestra
the sledgehammer represented his piss
( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:44, archived)

It was him.
I had to watch. I mean, I had to, it was at CHB's an he's an ex special forces or something and if we hadn't watched he'd have shot us.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:44, archived)

I prefer to pretend it wasn't.
I'm deeply ashamed of it.
It was someone else's idea and I agreed to it. I'm going to pretend reluctantly.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:46, archived)

I tried looking on YouTube for the video
All I could find was fucking Keyboard Cat.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, archived)

why didn't you smash his face in with the sledgehammer?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:45, archived)

Who was it?

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:46, archived)

A stupid fat ballbag.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:48, archived)

It sounds like something a stupid fat ballbag would do.
Why wasn't I invited to attend this farce?
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:50, archived)

You're dull as fuck.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:54, archived)

Go shove a MONO! up your cockend and shit out a dullard

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, archived)

go shove a bumhole up your cockend and shit out a MONO!

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:00, archived)

I'm totally not inviting you to my AWESOME BUMHOLE BASH now.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:03, archived)

FINE.
You and Adam have a great time then. Cunt.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:04, archived)

If I ever met Adam, I'd probably hammer him in the groin, just to be sure he can't infect the world with dullardism

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:07, archived)

I'll bash your bumhole in a bit.
Um, I mean...never mind.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:16, archived)

There was a secret bash last night.
Bet you didn't know that, eh?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:47, archived)

I never get invited to anything.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:50, archived)

I seem to have upset a lot of people over the last few years.
On account of being a prick.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:50, archived)

I say 'bash',
actually me and Flapjack had some dim sum and a few beers.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:55, archived)

LOL
I saw the video of this online. What a fucking stupid prick.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:52, archived)

It's a shame they don't happen more often
And closer to where I live. There's a whole load of B3tans I'd really like to meet.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:55, archived)

Organise a Portsmouth bash then.
Go out to a pub and club then back to your house for a piss-up.

I think there used to be quite a few Portsmouth bashes, sure there used to be a disproportionate number of b3tans down that direction.
( Lord Gnome, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:02, archived)

If I were a needy prick I'd probably live down there.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:04, archived)

Yeah, maybe in the summer I will
At the moment it's just me, Balders and Manolith as far as I'm aware. I know that there are some people not too far away. Hmm....
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:07, archived)

I'd come*
I probably wouldn't come.
( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:08, archived)

I'd invite you*
I'd probably not, etc
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:13, archived)

I'm currently enjoying the term 'bukkake labrador' to describe a dalmation.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:25, archived)

I'd love a tubgirl-poodle.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:27, archived)

I'd love a cuddle.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:29, archived)

I'd love a goatse-st.-bernard.
*hugs*
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:30, archived)

I'd love a bdsm-alsation

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:31, archived)

I'd love a 2-girls-1-chihuahua

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:36, archived)

I'd love a MONO's-bumhole-dachshund

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:38, archived)

I'd love a pearl-necklace-pekingese

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:41, archived)

I'd love an ass-to-mouth- basset-hound

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:38, archived)

I'd love an inter-racial-mongrel.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:41, archived)

I'd love a cumshot-corgi.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:43, archived)

Well that should be easy enough.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:44, archived)

I KNOW RIGHT!
I'd like a DVDA-whippet.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:52, archived)

I'd like a golden-shower-golden-retriever.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:53, archived)

I'd like a BBW-Latino-Lolita-Snuff-Porn-Jack-Russelllll.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:59, archived)

I'd love a gonzo-granny-golden-labrador.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:02, archived)

I'd love a wank-in-a-sock-great-dane

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:09, archived)

I'd love a shemale-sheepdog.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:15, archived)

Oi, leave Gonzo's granny out of this.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:09, archived)

A shit-in-a-carrier-bag-unwanted-stray?

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:13, archived)

A Disney-tattoo-dying-alone-Weimaraner?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:19, archived)

I know at least three lesbians and they're all really nice people but they aren't anything like the lesbians in porn.

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:41, archived)

I feel I should be more specific here- that's one pair of lesbians and one who is either single or I haven't met her other half.
It's not a lesbian threesome. Oh my, no.
( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:47, archived)

I went to a lesbian pub,
there were no doors on the unisex toilet cubicles. It was a bit weird.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:47, archived)

That's to enable casual observers
to casually observe the frenzied gash-noshing that goes on in them.

I'd have thought.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:50, archived)

But I want to whizz in peace.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:54, archived)

They'll probably be happy with you doing it on them,
if my rigorous internet research is anything to go by.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:57, archived)

oh no,
did I upset them by not pissing on them? WHY DIDN'T I DO MORE RESEARCH BEFORE I WENT!
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, archived)

Good lord, Lesbians!
I'm driving the students to O****r Regionals in Newcastle this weekend. It's the first time the University has put a team out since I started coaching 4 years ago.
We're seeded pretty low, so we may not make Nationals so this is pretty much the last important tournament they have. After that, I'll have less of an obligation to coach them until next year.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:43, archived)

You know how Grrmachine is always telling you to stop fucking banging on about yourself because absolutely nobody gives even the slightest hint of a fuck?

( Noit happy baby orangutan, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:46, archived)

Lol
Where is Grry anyway?
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:50, archived)

He thought he caught a hint of fuck in the air and went to check it out.
Turns out it was just a repeat of One Foot In The Grave.
Now fuck off.
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:17, archived)

Shut up, Adam.

( MONO!, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:47, archived)

Oh yeah, the outdoors bit.
Sorry about that, edited for your viewing pleasure
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:50, archived)

you should have totally started a new thread with this, what a waste.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:51, archived)

I would but I didn't have anything to ask everybody.
Maybe later
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:54, archived)

start a fucking thread Adam.
Now.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:59, archived)

Nope, can't make me

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:17, archived)

i'm in lesbians with you

( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:45, archived)

I've got a lesbian in me.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:48, archived)

we're all lesbians underneath
ALL OF US
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:59, archived)

I've got a shaven head, broad shoulders and a moustache
You might have a point
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:02, archived)

Hey lesbian buddy!
Wanna have go lesbian?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:53, archived)

This doesn't make sense
BUT I LIKES IT!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:54, archived)

it works if you say it in a forrin accent.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:56, archived)

No racism here, please

( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, archived)

Haha, like Russian for instance?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 9:58, archived)

In Soviet Russia lesbians have go on you.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:01, archived)

*books time-machine ticket to Soviet Russia*

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:11, archived)

if i was gonna have go lesbian
i'd have go lesbian with you
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:00, archived)

This sounds like the sort of song Johnbags would have written.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:04, archived)

Poor Johnbags :(

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:13, archived)

the world is poorer for having lost him
goodnight sweet prince
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:15, archived)

oh boy
oh boy


I hope you both have beards
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:34, archived)

We sure do!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:39, archived)

I hope they don't turn out to be some kind of strapon beards :(

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:46, archived)

Nah man, it's all natural
And we both have different TYPES of beards too!
Imagine that!
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:49, archived)

I'm not into albino lesbo beardos

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:50, archived)

Eh?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:21, archived)

everybody knows more lesbians than me :(
I bet you all know more wheelchairs than me too :(
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:30, archived)

I don't know any lesbians, or wheelchairs
However I do know 2 Greek people.
( magnum, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:55, archived)

Rich Hall on Saturday night
visit a friend who's just had a baby on Sunday and then off to see Stewart Lee.

fuck yeah
( magnum, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:31, archived)

is the baby a lesbian?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:34, archived)

I'll let you know

( magnum, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:48, archived)

Nice, I like Rich Hall

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:40, archived)

squawk!
*flaps*
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:49, archived)

Hooray!
Hi Bollocks Parrot! Want some millet?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:54, archived)

SQUAWK!
*pecks millet*
*sips champagne*
(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:56, archived)

Who's a pretty boy?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 10:59, archived)

Frank? squawk.

(bollocks parrot squawk squawk squawk, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:02, archived)

Sorry Bollocks Parrot, Frank doesn't come here anymore
I sure do wish someone would start a new thread though
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:10, archived)

christ, me too
although i'm about to go into a meeting with my manager so i won't be able to contribute until about 1ish
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:20, archived)

wahey!
you're the best parrot, bollocks parrot
( manolith hooray for me, Thu 8 Mar 2012, 11:14, archived)