hiya
so, tell me a little bit about yourself
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 11:23, archived)

I got me a car, it's as big as a whale, and it's essential travel only for the time being

(dribble, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 11:30, archived)

i wish there was a way my car could pollute more, it's too efficient

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:01, archived)

you need rolling coal
( Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:04, archived)

i'll just stick it in neutral and put a brick on the accelerator whilst i watch telly

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:22, archived)

What the fuck

(dribble, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:36, archived)

Fuck yeah 'MERICA!!!!!
*cough*
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:53, archived)

This'll annoy the sour-faced dykes at The Guardian

(dribble, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:59, archived)

Alright, Stuart Lee satirizing Jeremy Clarkson.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 28 Jan 2021, 20:31, archived)

alright

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 28 Jan 2021, 11:34, archived)

alright

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:01, archived)

I get knocked down but I get up again
I’m also partial to binge drinking
( Cheers Cheers, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 11:37, archived)

i like the politics chumbawamba embrace

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:02, archived)

Alright doves

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 11:43, archived)

alright bivs

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:03, archived)

Not bad , haven't been bivvyed up at the lake since late October,

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:05, archived)

praying for a swift return to the bivvy for you hun xxx

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:23, archived)

Fishing is actually allowed during lockdown, its just too cold for my old bones

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:41, archived)

happy belated b3taday!

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 11:51, archived)

thx bbz <3

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:03, archived)

Well look who it is

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 11:53, archived)

yeah, how's portsmouth? does it still smell like a sewer?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:04, archived)

No idea. I haven't been there in ages now
Our office moved to North Harbour while I was in hospital, and then the world ended, so I've not been there. Not to work, anyway
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:13, archived)

my trips to portsmouth stopped in march for some reason
then i thought i was being made redundant, then i wasn't and now i just sit at a computer in my spare room all day like some gamer nerd
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:16, archived)

Sounds alright

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:26, archived)

as if gamer nerds have a spare room!!!!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:45, archived)

...they all live with their mums

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:46, archived)

I lived with your mum for a bit, m8
If you could call that living
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:51, archived)

haha classic TH!

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:55, archived)

You bet!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:54, archived)

It's a room for cats

(dribble, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:53, archived)

Roooom for cats

(Nicki Minaj, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:57, archived)

Some old /chat

(dribble, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:03, archived)

hiya
I’ve got a little ‘bit’
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 11:53, archived)

it's not the size that matters, but what you do with it

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:05, archived)

My name is Queefius McBeefius Ricardus
master of the Armies of the Fleb, General of the Micropenii and loyal servant to the true emperor, Mikeus Linduppius. Farter from a murdered anus. Shitter in a public bin. And I will have a go on your nan's fizzy clopper, in this life or the next.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 11:59, archived)

what

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:06, archived)

you heard

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:07, archived)

my name is jacob dyer and i live in bristol. it is fantastic. i sound like barnaby bear. i like barnaby bear. one time he went to france. i went to france. but some kid burnt my neck. I didn't like it.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:15, archived)

jacob dyer must be in his forties with a steady white collar job and two kids by now

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:17, archived)

www.rifemagazine.co.uk/author/jacob_dyer/
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:22, archived)

i think we're all worse off for knowing this

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:22, archived)

I'm sorry guy's

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 15:38, archived)

ruiner

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 2:04, archived)

:(

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 28 Jan 2021, 20:31, archived)

He appears to have based an article around selling his own blood to survive. It’s not going all that well, is it jacob.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 2:02, archived)

you don’t get paid for blood in the UK
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍎, Sun 31 Jan 2021, 11:41, archived)

Oh, and I fart out the front now

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 12:33, archived)

cool

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:23, archived)

I've been reading a lot lately

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:53, archived)

How small

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:19, archived)

I've just eaten a small chocolate bar

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 13:55, archived)

How small

(dribble, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:06, archived)

i'm naked

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:04, archived)

How small

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:09, archived)

if you have to ask you can't see it

(Literally Hitler stop playing with my jewlirium, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 17:05, archived)

I was born.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:06, archived)

How small

(dribble, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:12, archived)

Roughly 3.855535145kg.

( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:59, archived)

That's not a size

(dribble, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 15:19, archived)

Please express as cubic inches or fluid ounces

(dribble, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 15:21, archived)

Okay, let me prepare. *breathes from the diaphragm*
UGNN UHGGGH BLUUUUUH I'M A CONFUSINGLY USELESS ARCHAIC AND UTTERLY ARBITRARY UNIT OF VOLUUUUUUUUUME.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 16:32, archived)

A wonderful, logical system acknowledging our glorious British Imperial past, to be fully reinstated everywhere and forcibly taught in schools now that we've taken back control, you mean

(dribble, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 16:46, archived)

BRING BACK THE BIRCH
for flaying metric martyrs.
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 18:42, archived)

hi doves

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:26, archived)

hey hun xxx

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:27, archived)

losing my mind at female gritty
it's too much
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 14:26, archived)

I haven't shit myself yet this year.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 28 Jan 2021, 15:55, archived)

congratulations, you're a credit to this forum

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 28 Jan 2021, 16:56, archived)