hello queeftell me something about yourself that i didn't know before and probably won't care about after
(, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:10, archived)
I play guitar in the Rolling Stones, but I use a fanny instead of a plectrum(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:14,
archived)
already heard that one fuck off you dull cuntnot even about you is it. fucking hell.
(, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:27, archived)
ooh I know oneJackie Wilson's song Reet Petite was originally titled Queef Petite in dedication to Mr Richard's, but the record company grey suits wouldn't allow it.
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broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:20,
archived)
Supergrass had a lyric about keeping Queef nice and clean in their track Alright, until those damn record executives got involved(
broadsword now that's fresh, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:24,
archived)
oh do you still need to bang on about how your grandad thought he heard someone say 'fuck' once?please do i've got a quiet night booked
(, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:49, archived)
nice one, looking forward to reading your 3am conversations with yourself in the morningthey're always a lot of fun and in no way utterly tragic
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:53,
archived)
i dunno, i guess i just like talking to someone that isn't a fragile fuck up that airs their dirty laundry onlinethen cries when they don't get an internet hug. talking to myself seems the only way to accomplish it these days.
(, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:07, archived)
Yeah nothing says 'not a fuck up' like posting you've run out of alcohol at 3:30am when you have to get up for work 3h laterTeach me your ways o wise one
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:11,
archived)
i'm sorry you can't handle your booze, i can drink and rock up for work bright as a button!is that why your wife left you? and took the kids? were you an abusive drunk? i don't need much sleep in my life, fortunately alcohol creates within me a sense of whimsy, not aggression.
(, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:17, archived)
i know some pretty aggressive mimsies(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:49,
archived)
Yeah , I got paid today, fairly pointless as I hadn't even dented last months pay (, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:19, archived)
leg end, surely?(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:44,
archived)
See now you've posted this by law of the internet everyone else has too (, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:28, archived)
I've been lolblanked by jr again :(tonight's zoom was meant to replace the one that I got blanked on yesterday
I know it's how things will inevitably be but I'm still fucking down about it
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:18,
archived)
It's tough mate , maybe just send her a little text saying you live her and miss her, all you can do really. My lads very chatty if you want to speak to that nob (, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:21, archived)
she popped up a minute ago, had a nice chat, all's right with the world(
Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:45,
archived)
There you go , sorted. Teenagers ate very selfish and flaky, more so the girls (, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:47, archived)
ffswhat are the odds her mum's been 'distracting' her just to fuck with you?
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:22,
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don't worry about it m8 it's not like you're missing anything you can't replace later on with depression induced alcoholism(, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:30, archived)
you sure it's not her mumnot letting her go online because of some imagined transgression?
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:41,
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she just called, a few minutes later she had to go and eat dinnerthis happens every time, no matter what time of day it is
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Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:48,
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definitely the hand of petty interference (
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:57,
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hellomy belly is full of beef green pepper. plops may occur.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 17:41,
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the danger lies in the fact that i'm at my parents' houseand, while they both believe that a vaccine is useful, my brother is a covid denier and anti-vaxxer. i can't take the kids to my house and my parents need to have their jabs tonight - they've literally sneaked out of the house to get them so my brother doesn't know - so i'm the only one to look after the kids. that prick is putting us all in danger.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:10,
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if i managed to turn him offbelieve me, i wouldn't turn the cunt back on again
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:40,
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what does your brother think killed the 2+ million people who've died of COVID so far then?(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:29,
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my favourite conspiracy theory of the dayis from the US congresswoman who thinks that the California wildfires were caused by a secret Jewish space laser
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:35,
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fucking Arquillian cruiser, m8(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:41,
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oh, the numbers have been lied aboutthere have been NOWHERE NEAR as many deaths as our LYING GOVERNMENT have claimed.he's also said that images of dead bodies in other countries are stock footage from films, which he could totally prove if he could be bothered. not to mention that people dying of heart attacks, cancer, being hit by buses, etc, have all been put down as covid-related deaths. he claims that, if it were real, at least one of his friends would have got it. pointing out that he has literally 2 friends and they're both fat, sweaty, neckbearded internet shut-ins who never come into contact with other people during normal times
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:39,
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I've got a bridge to sell, if he's interested(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:41,
archived)
i'd very much like him to jump off one(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:45,
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you think i'd tell him about this place?he'd call everyone here gay cunts who need to be killed off
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:49,
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i had a friend who is fit and healthy and goes into shops without a mask because 'i don't believe in it'i tried to tell him it doesn't matter what you believe you could listerally cause people to irl die and he didn't give a shit.
so i had a friend who is fit and healthy and an absolute cunt.
we've fallen out and i haven't spoken to him for two months. have you tried not talking to your brother for two months?
(, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:45, archived)
yes, my brother and I don't talk oftenwe do get on well, though, because he's not a cunt
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Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:48,
archived)
i would gladly never talk to him for the rest of my lifebut i very much doubt he'll ever move out of my parents' house. i'm considerably more intelligent than him which his misogynistic, narcissistic little mind can't deal with, so he will creep up behind me and shout "MONGOLOID!" down my ear, like the massive shitcunt he is.
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:53,
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he sounds like the perfect fit for b3ta tbh(
Turing's Artificial Hand Sig Sauer, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:54,
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broke his nose oncebroke 3 of his toes by building a snowman around a bollard and letting his fucking inner bellend do the rest
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 19:00,
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oh, he's chased me with a carving knife before nowand every single upstairs wall in my parents' house has holes plastered over that he did by losing his temper and putting his fist through the wall
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Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 19:10,
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where's wall-y(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 19:19,
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he's 48 in just over 2 weeks(
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 19:07,
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if i was 48, and i lived with my mum, and i was a cunti'd probably kill myself.
(, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 19:13, archived)
KLF burnt a million poundsi wish queef's mum could do the same
(, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:41, archived)
They could have used that money for goodlike building a Jewish Space Laser for example
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Cheers Cheers, Fri 29 Jan 2021, 18:43,
archived)