shoving that failed thread down my japper
hullo
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 10:21, archived)

Hello
Just picked up some very good pork sausages from the butchers
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 10:35, archived)

I haven't made sausages for ages
They're really hard to stuff unless someone helps, and my wife is rather squeamish about that sort of thing (especially after she found out what 'natural casings' are), and with my kid awol that leave me rather fucked, it's well shit
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 10:54, archived)

I can imagine
Our local butcher is very good, there's always a huge line outside
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:09, archived)

+ of sausages hanging from the mouth of a dog as it runs away, being chased by the butcher with a cleaver

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:15, archived)

No dogs allowed in the strand
Except for service dogs
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:21, archived)

They should have outlawed dogs in children's comics too, that would have put an end to those scenes.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:37, archived)

Dogs are very persistent

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 17:01, archived)

I think he was putting forward a fictional scenario for a joke
rather than positing a factual occurrence
(piss and shit, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 16:18, archived)

Alright Gnasher?

(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 4 Apr 2023, 15:04, archived)

always a good sign eh

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:23, archived)

They do fresh hot food
Like salt and pepper chicken, bacon ribs, scouse, burgers, that sort of thing
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:35, archived)

Have you misplaced commas here
I never heard of some of these delicious treats
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 4 Apr 2023, 15:06, archived)

No misplaced commas
Salt and pepper chicken is delicious and spicy, bacon ribs are usually boiled and again, delicious. Scouse is stew popular in Liverpool.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 16:02, archived)

Huh!!!
I need some culinary education, thanks smashy!
(( * )( * ) ( . Y . ) (○¥○) ( ͜ₒ ㅅ ͜ ₒ), Tue 4 Apr 2023, 16:27, archived)

good generous with his drugs
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:33, archived)

By the looks of him
The only drugs he has are for hypertension
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:36, archived)

popcultureocd.files.wordpress.com/2018/01/hilary-briss.png
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:38, archived)

How does a second person help?
I've made a of sausages as a job but never at home. Tie a knot in one end of the casing and spoon in your mixture?
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:07, archived)

I'm spooning in my mixture right now IYKWIM

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:26, archived)

Most butcher's have a big tool
to pump in their mixture for a more professional finish
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 14:01, archived)

I'm pumping my professional finish mixture butcher's tool or whatever right now IYKWIM

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 15:10, archived)

I've got an electric machine, and feeding the meat in through the hopper and handling the sausage as it comes out of the extruder required two pairs of hands, ideally

Also I am of course 'handling the sausage' as I type this
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:38, archived)

Well, I'm spent.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:50, archived)

sp b
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 14:51, archived)

Barmy Brussels beaurocrats banned our bent British bangers, BARD BREXIT BOW

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 14:53, archived)

So someone has to reach around and pull on your sausage?
Where can I get a machine like this?
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 14:02, archived)

alright

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 10:58, archived)

Y
Lovely weather again
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:18, archived)

stunning weather here, wish I had the day off so I could spend it getting progressively lairy in a pub beer garden before kicking off when the police show up to move me on.

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:22, archived)

Exactly what I'm going to do

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:24, archived)

oh god, that just reminded me of one of the most painfully obvious QOTW lies
b3ta.com/questions/escapes/post833727
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:35, archived)

classic 'Monkey the Chicken'!

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:41, archived)

Classic legless, defending a fictional (and pretty problematic) qotw fantasy

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:42, archived)

It fucking is an' all, looking at his 'best' lies
b3ta.com/search/posts/45132/best
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:07, archived)

the glory days of QOTW

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:14, archived)

all the people who genuinely think that really need to be lobotomised for their own good

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:17, archived)

fucking hell

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:40, archived)

The second one is especially believable, where the fictional woman is louder than the fictional car horn

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:56, archived)

It's quite brave to paint yourself as such an absolute fucking wanker in your own fantasies.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 14:15, archived)

the 'resident loon' approach to QOTW

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 14:18, archived)

stentorian tones

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 14:53, archived)

Motorola Startac
What a prick!
(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 14:56, archived)

stentor
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 15:00, archived)

He should watch Blackadder Goes Forth, it'll blow his mind.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:42, archived)

Fucking cringe

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 12:47, archived)

None of it happened, did it?

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 12:57, archived)

No

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:24, archived)

Starting with the going down the pub, or having any mates

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 13:57, archived)

or the 'having a girlfriend'

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 14:19, archived)

Does something that obviously false even qualify as a lie? It's more like a performance piece.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 15:18, archived)

I think it qualifies as a lie when the sole purpose of the story is for the OP to get the upper hand against awful bullies

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 15:20, archived)

Japper lol
How was Hillage?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 11:48, archived)

outstanding, loved it
as my mate said the next morning, 'I would go to that every month if I could'
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Apr 2023, 12:07, archived)