Little lads sports day today.
I am going to wear some flip flops just to make sure I can’t be asked to take part in the parents race.

What are you doing this week to disappoint your child?
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 10:42, archived)

Technically he's not a child
But I'll be spraying the kitten with a water bottle until he learns that my legs are not scratching posts or a climbing frame
( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 10:49, archived)

Really not an issue for me

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 10:55, archived)

Can’t think of anything worse.

Having children, I mean
( Cheers Cheers, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 11:02, archived)

Best thing I've ever done
Also, worst
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 11:19, archived)

Existing

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 11:18, archived)

Not looking after myself, killing the planet, and being a "cringe" "boomer"

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 11:25, archived)

How dare you!

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 12:31, archived)

might get drunk and disinherit the family

( Woodkovsky ☹️➝🚻➝🚽➝😣➝💩➝🧻➝😁, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 11:55, archived)

Yeah, fuck em

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 12:03, archived)

And then disinherit them

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 12:09, archived)

Alright Prince Harry

( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 12:27, archived)

To guarantee instant incapacitation by impacting the brain and central nervous system, the head shot must be delivered to the area between eyebrows and upper lip, otherwise, various bony areas of the skull could deflect the bullet.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 12:09, archived)

The noseshot's the only true stopper

( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 12:12, archived)

And my axe

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 12:25, archived)

Or you could attach an explosive device to the back of the head

( Smash Monkey 2 Anyone know a good therapist in South Africa?, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 12:20, archived)

If I'm that close, I'm going to do that thing where you rub your knuckles roughly back and forth on the top of someone's head

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 13:54, archived)

Then I'm going to pull them in for a reluctant hug and go "shh shhh shhh" while they struggle to get away.
Weirdly border-line abusive in a way but at least I didn't launch their fucking brains through the air
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 13:58, archived)

Zola Budd trained and raced barefoot
You should get a leg cast just to be on the safe side
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 12:34, archived)

g ad
+ then go swimming
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 11 Jul 2023, 12:47, archived)