That's enough of that
Kids are refusing to share so it's goodbye office hello bedroom for number 3 child
What first world problems do you have?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 10:41, archived)

A head cold. Nobody gives a shit :(

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 10:47, archived)

Would you like a hug?
Or some freebase?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 10:58, archived)

can confirm

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:49, archived)

morning

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:04, archived)

Not a problem u fule

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:20, archived)

ur welcome

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:29, archived)

Trying to clean with a hyper kitten underfoot
Who also has razor sharp claws
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:06, archived)

Lock it in a cupboard
Or heroin
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:21, archived)

You try catching the jumpy little fucker

( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:30, archived)

velcro him to a handy surface til it's safe to let him loose

( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:36, archived)

He's trying to eat the fan
Again.
( Smash Monkey 2 Prozac is apparently good for menopause, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 12:01, archived)

Lol

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 12:10, archived)

+ny

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 12:13, archived)

>velcro< nail

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 12:01, archived)

A vague sense of guilt connected to colonial imperialism.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:16, archived)

Subscribe to the Guardian
Or amphetamine
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:22, archived)

Bring back the Empire I say.
We know what's best.
( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:35, archived)

I have FUCKING SHINGLES and it sucks. So unwell.
What will make me feel better?

You can say heroin
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:19, archived)

Heroin then a 20 bag will sort it

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:23, archived)

Do you have any suggestions that don't involve hard drugs?
Alt: what would you recommend PCP for?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:30, archived)

No
Alt, mixed with gin and tonic it helps in fights
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 12:12, archived)

PCP is great for those old Airfix models, it's a quick-drying and sturdy adhesive

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 16:15, archived)

Good, you deserve it.

( Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:35, archived)

Sean Connery's record shop could do with a snappier tagline

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:50, archived)

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:57, archived)

oh COME ON

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 12:13, archived)

lol

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 12:41, archived)

Oh no

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 16:15, archived)

Trying to work out the easiest way from Marseille airport to the restaurant I want to go to for lunch tomorrow
It's a fucking hard life, I tell you
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 11:49, archived)

Hitchhiking?
Or mountain biking
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 12:00, archived)

get a plane, duh

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 13:46, archived)

get your wife to take you she seems to do everything else

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 18:38, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

(THE MONGDADDY Wibble jib-jib!, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 13:10, archived)

I got my head done, when I was young

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 16:21, archived)

Woo houpla

( MiseryCunt sometimes the squirrel catches the dog, Mon 17 Jul 2023, 17:41, archived)