greetings, smeghead's
I'm having a good day, u?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:26, archived)

I have the neighbours cat in my house again.
He has basically moved in.

I got up this morning and the little cunt was already in the house. Must have sneaked in last night and I didn’t notice. Prickwanker
(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:38, archived)

Does he have a tunnel or something?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:47, archived)

Think he gets in through the kitchen window and I don’t notice.

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:25, archived)

your son, you mean

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:36, archived)

Did you ever feed him?

(Bou-, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:48, archived)

My son has. A couple of times. I have stopped him doing it now.

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:26, archived)

why tho
compassionate innit
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:34, archived)

nah it's not their cat
feeding them is the first stage of cat theft. Source: my wife did it and it did not end well :(
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:36, archived)

Yeah I've seen a couple of minor neighbor irritations over feline appropriation
Usually sorts itself out, perhaps you were unlucky. Worth bearing in mind, cats seldom leave a good home.
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:44, archived)

That's a good point

(Bou-, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 18:30, archived)

Did you threaten to overrule him?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:12, archived)

It's a cat not a lawyer for fucks sake

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:13, archived)

I note you're not answering the question about whether you threatened to overrule him.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:18, archived)

arseboon dilbaro

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:21, archived)

evasive

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:35, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8384417
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:21, archived)

I just bummed him.

(Fucksocks Put ‘em on, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:26, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8384910
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 17:55, archived)

Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:27, archived)

Who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:27, archived)

etc

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:28, archived)

Paul McCartney

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:22, archived)

well 'TIL'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:27, archived)

THAT TWAT

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:46, archived)

I am yeah thanks
Parents over tomoz so dad is out on the boat first thing
Lobster and crab hopefully and whatever fish he can grab
Any ideas for crab/lobster dishes?
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:45, archived)

www.recipetineats.com/singapore-chilli-crab/
www.greatbritishchefs.com/recipes/lobster-macaroni-cheese-recipe
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:23, archived)

Ta
Got it all except for the specific cheese it'll be Brie⁹
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:11, archived)

What the fuck is 'brie-9'?
Is that, like, an isotope of brie or something?
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:32, archived)

It can only be purchased on the /chat secret site
You can be invited for cash
(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:46, archived)

Fucks sake don't you know what rappers mean by "cheese"?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:27, archived)

something something 'brie-boys'

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:29, archived)

that won't work m8
gruyere, emmental, an aged gouda. needs to be a waxy, nutty cheese, brie will add a sour note which will not be good. just go to the shop ffs

also how exactly are you planning on grating brie over the top? come on, man, THINK
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:28, archived)

No, my sister's gone to the hospital
:(
(Bou-, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:47, archived)

Sos to hear

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:55, archived)

Thank you

(Bou-, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:55, archived)

:(

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:28, archived)

Thanks

(Bou-, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:56, archived)

Had a dentist appointment this morning :'(

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:49, archived)

Ouch
I need to go
I think I have a cavity
Are you in pain?
What did they do?
(Bou-, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:54, archived)

I'm getting a crown done and it was the first stage of that.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:53, archived)

Oooooh. A root canal.
I've had one of them. It was really fucking horrible, but the dentist who did it was a high priest of his art and the crown hast lasted a decade - gonna have to have the bastard out now though as there's a filling on the side that's fallen out and the tooth is infected but it lasted way longer than something that precarious ought to.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:29, archived)

No, just a crown. Not a root canal.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:18, archived)

lol they haven't told you
root canal work is necessary before the final fitting of the crown, they don't say anything because it puts people off
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:52, archived)

Nah, my previous crown didn't need root canal
Neither does this one, it would if it was left any longer.
(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 19:55, archived)

Was it fun?

(President of the lighthouse Organised the Trumpton riots, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 12:56, archived)

gud lol

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:26, archived)

My dentist is called Russell, as I've mentioned before. What is your dentist called? Mine is called Russell.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:51, archived)

He's a sikh, so some brown name. Not Russell.

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 19:56, archived)

Cleaned some serious gunk out of my phone's charging port with a needle
Now the stupid headphone adapter doesn't pop out.

Overall very satisfying.
( Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:24, archived)

serious g chimpanzee sp
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 13:29, archived)

My dentist is called Russell

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:59, archived)

Had to write an arsy email to my new boss
she's driving me fucking mental with her shit. I told her. I said that.


I. erm... I may be looking for a new job soon...

In more exciting news I am doing lots of farts and they smell really, really bad. I recon I could cause acid rain with these guffs.
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:26, archived)

You need more fruits and vegetables in your diet.
And a new job.
(Bou-, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:51, archived)

So-so, wondering if it's desk whisky time

( broadsword, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:34, archived)

You have whiskey in your desk at work?
:○
(Bou-, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 14:52, archived)

Doesn't everyone?

( broadsword, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:11, archived)

yeah what a fucking weird question
*swigs*
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:26, archived)

No whisky chat m8

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Fri 22 Sep 2023, 15:36, archived)