I'm dying of cancer. Prove me wrong

( mongychops, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 21:58, archived)

I hope you're not mongy
I seem to remember you saying something like this a while back too
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 22:12, archived)

I'm one of 4 children
My older sister was diagnosed with skin cancer at 4041. She survived. My brother was diagnosed with colon and liver cancer at 40. He survived. My younger sister was diagnosed with squamous cell head and neck cancer at 40 Within weeks, she had breast cancer, blood cancer and 2 brain tumours. She died at 41. I am not exac this situation. tly unbiased in
( Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 22:27, archived)

Skin cancer is often a result of high risk sun exposure but in your sister's defence they didn't have our current understanding of the dangers of UV light in the early bronze age.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:38, archived)

bronzer age

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:49, archived)

I'm not sure this is relevant to my thread.

( mongychops, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:45, archived)

She's just saying, you definitely have cancer, I hope you don't mongy :(

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:46, archived)

Well I hope if he does that it's a nice cancer at least

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:49, archived)

You have a wonderful bedside manner doctor

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:56, archived)

Don't fall for it

( mongychops, Sat 28 Mar 2026, 0:08, archived)

I have a drawer full of stickers that I give to my younger patients which say things like 'I was brave' or ''brilliant'.
There are some shiny hammer ones that say 'nailed it' which I keep back and award to myself when I get a cancer diagnosis right
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 28 Mar 2026, 0:11, archived)

Top tip: never miss a cancer diagnosis by telling every single patient they've got cancer.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 28 Mar 2026, 8:07, archived)

ahahahahahaaaaaaaa

( vladimir, Sat 28 Mar 2026, 13:55, archived)

4,041 is a decent age in anyone's book, tbf.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Sat 28 Mar 2026, 6:57, archived)

we are all dying from something

( Invisible Wizard - 13th Level Scrote, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 22:53, archived)

Or in my patients' case, someone!

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:42, archived)

What symptoms do you have?
I'll run them past chatgpt and let you know what it thinks.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:06, archived)

Is cancer a symptom?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:48, archived)

Just shut up and let me help ChatGP do it's job.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 28 Mar 2026, 0:05, archived)

Pardon? Bart and Homer

( mongychops, Sat 28 Mar 2026, 0:10, archived)

Hahaha
Ear cancer
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 28 Mar 2026, 0:13, archived)

Finger up the bum again?

(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:09, archived)

Yes that will cheer him up

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:10, archived)

I had that last week.
GP was a v cute currymuncher. Hope she enjoyed it as much as I did.
(morning cheesy arse grease innit, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:34, archived)

I hope you have prostate cancer

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:40, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/8471237
( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:57, archived)

Only kidding

I hope he has pancreatic cancer
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 28 Mar 2026, 0:15, archived)

If we survive all the other things, we’re all dying of cancer.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Fri 27 Mar 2026, 23:59, archived)

Even of the mortgage?

( mongychops, Sat 28 Mar 2026, 0:07, archived)

this is bad news, can we get on it?

( broadsword, Sat 28 Mar 2026, 4:27, archived)