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feeding the squirrels was a huge mistake, they are psychopathically demanding, one of them just tried to tear through the screen and get inside
one of them throws itself repeatedly at the back door, bump, bump, wife thought it was one of my foolish lies until she saw it herself
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 12:58, archived)
PARKLIFE!

(morning Hairy biscuit!, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 13:44, archived)
-PARK +YARD

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 13:58, archived)
This will be the international hit song of next summer, I'm telling you

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 18:36, archived)

squirrels are absolutely brilliant and very feisty foodvisitors. If you spend a little time at it you can get them to take food directly from your hand
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 14:36, archived)
vlad they are pushing my hands out of the way when I put the food down, one of them made a threatening noise at me yesterday when I topped up the food, WHAT ARE YOU DOING APE

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 14:42, archived)
ahahahahahahahaaaa I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 14:48, archived)
Superglue the food to the floor
That'll stop them
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 15:04, archived)
I see you've never met a squirrel

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 15:34, archived)
i've never met a red one because the bloody immigrants have taken over
AS USUAL
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 16:01, archived)
on that note
i wonder how mongy is getting on
(I helped save b3ta! MiseryCunt i said it b4 and i'll say it again... fuck you, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 16:01, archived)

I've started to imagine him just supine, barely conscious, the room is impossibly humid, close-up of his profile as he whispers the hash, the hash
(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 16:20, archived)
"I daresay Simon, these aren't clarinets at all!"

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 16:44, archived)
It's fucking cold

(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 18:32, archived)
Hello Mongy x

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 18:46, archived)
Got red and grey squirrels here
There are red ones in my garden
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 16:19, archived)
I see red squirrel

(I helped save b3ta! vladimir, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 16:21, archived)
There are black squirrels just down the road in Princeton, our kid says there are reds ones in Denver, but I've never seen any here

(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 17:22, archived)
The red ones are rare, the black ones are overdone.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 17:35, archived)
Grey ones at home, fewer now we've had most of our trees chopped.
Plenty red ones in the surrounding countryside though. One of them ran onto the main road as I was driving to work once, it froze in the middle of the carriageway. I just had to drive over it and hope it stayed between the wheels. Who decided to nake Tufty a road safety mascot, the stupid cunt
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 17:32, archived)
Lots of them

(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey 2 Cannot actually train spiders, Sun 28 Jun 2026, 16:18, archived)