You know when people say they couldn't give two shits?
I could, and in fact have. Three actually. I might even stretch to a fourth l8r.

How are we all today?
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:49, Reply)

3rd August
I want more summer
MORE
( vladimir, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:51, Reply)

Yeah really not looking forward to the old '6 months of darkness, cold and rain' thing

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:52, Reply)

Ngl, I could go for some rain right now.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 12:58, Reply)

Getting married Alanis?

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:00, Reply)

10,000 spoons as a wedding gift

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:01, Reply)

as the plane goes down on you in a theater

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:12, Reply)

A joke still worth making after 19 years.
b3ta.com/board/7795572
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:13, Reply)

Increasingly I think when I get around to the screenplay of all this I'll be writing us all in sour old waspish McKellenesque voices
( vladimir, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:32, Reply)

mixture of Happy Days and As Time Goes By
( vladimir, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:33, Reply)

my skinks, I posted a few
but then again
too few to mention
( vladimir, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:34, Reply)

It's no biscuit crumbs

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:50, Reply)

Ain't getting away with that shit now. Internet went bent

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:52, Reply)

Cheery Tomato too

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:56, Reply)

Those were good.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:59, Reply)

forgot about that, dora the explorer tho

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:05, Reply)

Interesting fact, the original version of the song WAS actually ironic but unfortunately for the radio edit Alanis was forced to change 'rape' to 'rain'.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 10:00, Reply)

Pretty fucking smeg m8, ngl

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:01, Reply)

Sounds well smeggy

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:55, Reply)

I'm cool, love these people. 70k for a phone charger, then he bought me a 20k beer. So much better than the land of fake smiles of Thailand

( mongychops, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:02, Reply)

You're still not seeing any tourists?

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:54, Reply)

They're a cheeky, fun-loving bunch I found

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:54, Reply)

^sex tourist

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:57, Reply)

I’m all fired up.

( Aardvark and so at last, I understood, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:14, Reply)

Woooooo

( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:53, Reply)

Four discreet ones at intervals
or a single one crimped off into smaller shitlets as it emerges?
( garold you're on mute I SAID YOU'RE ON MUTE, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:23, Reply)

Who the fuck doesn't consider it to be the total output in one sitting?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:26, Reply)

I did a poo/ am going for a poo - one sitting's worth
there's a poo on your doorstep - one log
there's some poo on your doorstep - one or more poos
(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:43, Reply)

by extrapolation, then
if there's some poo on your doorstep and someone says "there's a poo on your doorstep", either it was them or they saw it happening because otherwise how would they know?
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:54, Reply)

I'd have thought you of all people would know this, obviously samples are taken and they are sent for analysis, duh

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:57, Reply)

you can't dust for poo

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:58, Reply)

"good thing you didn't step in it"

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:03, Reply)

or, right, they were passing after the pooer did their first log
but had gone before the pooer returned to add more poos
(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:59, Reply)

Ecce! Est pooer.

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:01, Reply)

puella est in atria

(piss and shit, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:02, Reply)

That does seem reasonable but there is always value in hearing the opposing views of idiots

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:52, Reply)

Although, to be fair, I would say there can be multiple distinct episodes in a single sitting

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:56, Reply)

what is this, the Shitting Forecast?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:57, Reply)

The 00:48 Shitting Forecast, at the end of the broadcast day, is traditionally preceded by the playing of "Sailing By", a light orchestral piece by Ronald Binge.

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:02, Reply)

Pisser, Logger, German Scheiße movie

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:09, Reply)

with a soundtrack by... Ronald Binge!

( mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:42, Reply)

And Cilla Black

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 6:59, Reply)

separate visits
Minor jobbie at home, full size dump at work then a hideous shit+fart splattery abomination later.
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:53, Reply)

Shit+fart = shart, maybe yours will oh hang I haven't thought this through.

( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Mon 3 Aug 2026, 13:58, Reply)

haven't thought this just followed
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Tom Cruise piss films, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:19, Reply)

🤣😂

("TEMU Bou", Wed 5 Aug 2026, 20:58, Reply)

🤣😂🤣

("TEMU Bou", Wed 5 Aug 2026, 20:59, Reply)

My arse is a sprinkler
Hopefully it won't be tomorrow
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 14:53, Reply)

Suggest you get yourself checked for DBC (deadly bum cancer)

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 3 Aug 2026, 21:41, Reply)

youtu.be/8mFJq3vr7k4?si=JDSSdaVKeKmu_MXE
( Queef Smegwin U r a 🔔🔚, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 5:48, Reply)

I prefer Run-Deadly Minge Cancer.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Tue 4 Aug 2026, 9:52, Reply)