Off to land some big fucking carp
HAHA who am I kidding, I'll sit by the lake and masturbate all day.
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 4:33, archived)

Bit early, isn't it?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 7:55, archived)

got here bout 5

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 8:03, archived)

Been kicked out?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 11 Aug 2014, 9:04, archived)

Remember to put your disgusting bins out.
It's reflubbering this week.
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 21:45, archived)

As if I'm going out there

( H.B.Mupps, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 21:51, archived)

As if anyone here ever goes outside

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 21:57, archived)

Not in that rain, are you mad?
Also it's dark now and the golf is on
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 22:00, archived)

golf is for pricks

( H.B.Mupps, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 22:01, archived)

well said

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 22:31, archived)

and wankers

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 22:52, archived)

Also it's dark now and the golf wrestling is on
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 22:33, archived)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 17:23, archived)

fuck off dozers

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 17:32, archived)

well said

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 17:41, archived)

I really have nothing to add to this discussion.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 17:49, archived)

not even a flapjack pun?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 17:53, archived)

I never worked out whose sidekick he was

( mongychops, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 17:59, archived)

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Flubber.
Flubber flapjack
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 18:00, archived)

2001 - A Space Flapjack

( H.B.Mupps, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 21:44, archived)

The Empire Flaps Jack

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 22:26, archived)

Alright. Had any trouble from hurricane Bertha?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 18:27, archived)

NO FAT CHICKS

( mongychops, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 18:49, archived)

Imagine the carnage if hurricane Janet hit us

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 18:50, archived)

Oh lol
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurricane_Janet
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 18:51, archived)

fear of a phat janet

( mongychops, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 19:18, archived)

fear of a flapjack planet

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 20:21, archived)

it takes a nation of oats to flap us jack

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 22:28, archived)

lollers. soz.
'While Janet was in the central Caribbean Sea, a reconnaissance aircraft flew into the storm and was lost, with all eleven crew members believed to be perished'
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 21:18, archived)

In Grenada, the island's governor issued an emergency order against the hoarding of food in the aftermath of Janet, due to the food and water shortage that resulted from Janet.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 21:56, archived)

disgusting

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 19:56, archived)

disgusting

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 20:24, archived)

Disgusting

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 21:27, archived)

Gisdusting

( H.B.Mupps, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 21:50, archived)

hell fucking yeah

( $$ ✅, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 21:20, archived)

bored of that now

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:29, archived)

under the boredwalk

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:32, archived)

my sweet bored

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:33, archived)

bored of roses

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:36, archived)

i think you meant
bored pigs
( manolith hooray for me, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:41, archived)

Let's start a bored

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 16:02, archived)

disgusting

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 16:49, archived)

surprised to see Arsenal winning against Man City

( $$ ✅, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 16:37, archived)

afternoon
Anyone got any flapjack recipes they want to share?
( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:33, archived)

you give me flapjack fever

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:34, archived)

hit the flap jack

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:34, archived)

mix a load of oats with butter and golden syrup
Then fuck off.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:35, archived)

jumpin' jack flap

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:35, archived)

I just want flapjack for good

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:36, archived)

flap gordon

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:36, archived)

Shiny flappy people

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:03, archived)

everybody oats

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:04, archived)

What's the flapjack, Kenneth?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:05, archived)

flapjack with eyeliner

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:05, archived)

ebow the flapjack

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:06, archived)

How the flapjack was won and where it got us

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:07, archived)

Swan swan flapjack

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:08, archived)

losing my flapjack

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:09, archived)

I'd rather flap

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:37, archived)

I see a red door and I want to eat flapjack

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:37, archived)

flap yer body

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:37, archived)

bohemian flapsody

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:38, archived)

it's a kind of flapjack

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:41, archived)

Another one bites the flapjack

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:43, archived)

flap bottomed girls

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:43, archived)

town called flapjack

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:44, archived)

We will flap you

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:44, archived)

Just who is the 5 o'clock flapjack?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:45, archived)

down in the flapjack at midnight

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:45, archived)

Eton flapjacks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:46, archived)

yes!
150g butter
75g brown sugar
3tsbp syrup
250g oats

melt all that shit together then add oats
oven at 160 degrees bake for 15 - 18 mins
( $$ ✅, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:46, archived)

I think you meant
I wanna hold your flapjack
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:48, archived)

150g butter
75g brown sugar
3tsbp syrup
250g oats

melt all that shit together then add oats
oven at 160 degrees bake for 15 - 18 mins
Always bring the flapjacks with you
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:57, archived)

add 2.5g of finest Moroccan hash and your on to a winner

(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:59, archived)

I think you meant
Dancing flapjack
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:00, archived)

The bitterest flapjack I ever had to swallow

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:47, archived)

in the flapjacks of the holy

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:47, archived)

My name is Flap and I live in the jack
Of the Greta Garbo Home
With friends I will remember
Wherever I may roam

And my name's Flap and I live in the jack
Of the 'Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Boys and Girls'
We all love Flap, we live in the jack
Of the 'Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Boys and Girls'

There goes Fred with his hands on his head
'Cause he thinks he's heard the bomb
And here comes Superman
Who really puts it on

There's lots of fun and I love to run
Up and down the stairs
I make as much noise as I want
And no one ever cares

And my name's Flap and I live in the jack
Of the 'Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Boys and Girls'
We all love Flap, we live in the jack
Of the 'Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Boys and Girls'

There's Carl over there with his funny old hair
And he's never sad at all
And when I grow up, I want to run
As fast as my friend Paul

There's the prettiest girl in the whole wide world
And her name is Melody Mend
And here comes Ma with brother Tom
Who's probably my best friend

Well, Tom is my best friend
Well, Tom is my best friend

And my name is Flap and I live in the jack
Of the 'Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Boys and Girls'
We all love Flap, we live in the jack
Of the 'Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Boys and Girls'

My name is Flap and I live in the jack
Of the Greta Garbo Home

And my name is Flap and I live in the jack
Of the 'Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Boys and Girls'
We all love Flap, we live in the jack
Of the 'Greta Garbo Home for Wayward Boys and Girls'

My name is Flap and I live in the jack
My name is Flap and I live in the jack
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:48, archived)

excellent work
9/10
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:49, archived)

grocer flap
Grocer flap
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:50, archived)

god fucking dammit

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:52, archived)

hahaha

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:54, archived)

Count the days into years
Yes, eighty-two brings many fears
Yesterday's laughter turns to tears
His arms and legs don't feel so strong
His heart is weak, there's something wrong
Opens windows in despair
Tries to breathe in some fresh air
His conscience cries, "Get on your feet
Without flapjacks the town can't eat"
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:52, archived)

stairway to flapjack

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:48, archived)

the power of independent flapjack

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:50, archived)

Baby got flapjack

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:51, archived)

flapjack in the name of

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:52, archived)

Cannibal Corpse - A Skull Full of Flapjack

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:52, archived)

And you will know us by the trail of flapjacks

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:53, archived)

flapjack in a coma

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:53, archived)

The only thing that looks good on me is flapjack

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:54, archived)

flapjack in carpathia

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:54, archived)

Flapjack in the wind

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:54, archived)

I would do anything for flapjacks (but I won't do that)

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:55, archived)

Feed the world, let them know it's flapjack time

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:55, archived)

Anything I do (I do it for flapjack)

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:56, archived)

I am the black flapjacks

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:58, archived)

jumpin flapjack flash

( $$ ✅, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:59, archived)

golden flapjacks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:59, archived)

Take me to your blackened flapjacks

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:00, archived)

smells like teen flapjack

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:01, archived)

God save the flapjack

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:02, archived)

Should I stay or should I flapjack?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:03, archived)

one nation under a flapjack

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:04, archived)

games without flapjacks

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:05, archived)

Heaven is a flapjack

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:05, archived)

spanish flap

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:07, archived)

circles in the flapjack

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:07, archived)

flap only wants for happy internets

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:09, archived)

I think you meant
Learn to flapjack
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:10, archived)

Rock around the flapjack

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 14:09, archived)

morning

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 10:26, archived)

alright

( mongychops, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 10:29, archived)

alright mongy
going to the juicer in a bit to watch the glorified friendly.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 11:50, archived)

why not, I don't think I'll do fuck all today

( mongychops, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 11:52, archived)

thought it'd be good fishing weather

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 12:02, archived)

Nah I'll wait till Tuesday I think, do a few days then, still pissing down here

( mongychops, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 12:10, archived)

meaty

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 10:39, archived)

alright mr horrible

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 11:51, archived)

ahoy

( $$ ✅, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 10:44, archived)

scouser

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 11:51, archived)

wotcher
Hey, why do people say it's nice weather for ducks when it rains?
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 11:11, archived)

It's just a way of saying someone must be appreciating the shit weather.

( $$ ✅, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 11:18, archived)

the drop in temperature of the lake water encourages nymphs to hatch providing a bounty of nyom nyom nymphy wymphys

( mongychops, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 11:40, archived)

because they're pricks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 11:51, archived)

Because because because because because of the wonderful things he does

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 12:37, archived)

because people can't tell the difference between ducks and umbrellas

( manolith hooray for me, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:09, archived)

what's the difference between an umbrella?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:15, archived)

It has a duckhead handle

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:23, archived)

fuck off dozers

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 12:42, archived)

get fucked

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:19, archived)

I nick your panties
and then sniffed them.

Oh yeah, Hi!
(drunksteve is not drunk, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 5:13, archived)

eveninh

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 23:03, archived)

alright

( $$ ✅, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 23:15, archived)

ok

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 23:22, archived)

Yeah, whatever.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 Aug 2014, 0:02, archived)

Fine

(drunksteve is not drunk, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 7:11, archived)

I'm so wasted I missed Emperor to come back to my hotel for a bath and now I'm on here.
Evil Scarecrow were AWESOME though.
I didn't get ANY decent arse photos of The LOVELY Christina out of Lacuna Coil because she was wearing a dress.
I had a LOT of drinks with various LOVELY people though. Even if I DID miss Children Of Bodom because I was chatting with a bunch of folks that included a LOVELY AND NOT AT ALL SCARY lady. (she was VERY, VERY scary. If she'd been a lot shorter, and a ginge, I'd have thought that I'd met Blue Star.)
And I EVENTUALLY persuaded at least ONE barmaid that I WAS trustworthy enough for her to bring me my drink BEFORE I gave her the money for it.
/What I did on my Bloodstock day 3 by stuj.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:42, archived)

wanker

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:53, archived)

Hello Gilgawaitaminute

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 10 Aug 2014, 0:03, archived)

Any Man wearing flip flops on the street especially when the weather is inclement....
Should be rounded up put into a barrel of raw sewage and then shot.
( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:40, archived)

prick

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:53, archived)

Wanker

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 21:21, archived)

why?

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:57, archived)

you can't "round up" a single person,
that makes no sense
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 23:40, archived)

You can if they're an amputee.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 13:30, archived)

Dream big, say please and thank you
Try your best to be grateful, choose to be happy, SMILE, hug often and offer to help, sing laugh dance and remember you ARE loved.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:19, archived)

█───▄▀▀▀▀▄─▐█▌▐█▌▐██
█──▐▄▄────▌─█▌▐█─▐▌─
█──▐█▀█─▀─▌─█▌▐█─▐██
█──▐████▄▄▌─▐▌▐▌─▐▌─
███─▀████▀───██──▐██
( $$ ✅, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:35, archived)

Nice nice

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 20:09, archived)

prick

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 21:26, archived)

yeah yeah
whatever
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:41, archived)

I hope you get nobrot

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:51, archived)

christ give me a break here I can't multitask

( vladimir, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:52, archived)

Typical female

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 20:10, archived)

Still on that internet holiday I see

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 20:38, archived)

oh come on,
how would you expect him to co-ordinate with other nonces without constant internet access?
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Sat 9 Aug 2014, 21:07, archived)

there's clearly a mod issue here

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 21:21, archived)

stop posting here please

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 21:23, archived)

I bless this message in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Sat 9 Aug 2014, 21:52, archived)

Get fucked.

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 21:30, archived)

^^FP THIS NOW^^

( Mr. Tea dole-nonce-amuser extraordinaire, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 21:31, archived)

you are a fucking idiot

( mongychops, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 21:51, archived)

Hey mongy,
there's a guy on QFTW who got constipated on 9.5mg of dihydrocodeine.

I know that part of the site is beyond your remit, but I thought that might amuse you.
(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:07, archived)

that's fuck all, and it's not just beyond my remit I'm banned, cr3 wrote a code to prevent me going there logged in, I'm grateful

( mongychops, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:10, archived)

oh man, that's as hack-proof as ignore2.0 :(

(Plague Hedgehog 'posting crap', Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:13, archived)

I'm not logging out to look at qftw, I get enough of them coming here telling me I'm shit and they are top blokes, even gaz, bunch of needy wankers

( mongychops, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:33, archived)

pricks

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 22:52, archived)

any which way you can just starting on 5

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:30, archived)

soz
watching cloudy with a chance of meatballs 2
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:37, archived)

wanker

( Sir Sand GOBLIN ^popular page dis, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:45, archived)

prick

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:59, archived)

it's finished now

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 15:58, archived)

I'm falling asleep on a chaise lounge
A CHAISE FUCKING LOUNGE
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 16:06, archived)

you're also a fucking cunt
/ac
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 16:12, archived)

:O
Well
( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 16:13, archived)

BUMHOLES
BUMHOLES
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 17:18, archived)

hairbumholes?

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 17:33, archived)

you ARE a fancy lady

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 16:30, archived)

In your hirsute hippy dreams

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 18:23, archived)

LONGUE

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 16:57, archived)

Disgusting

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 17:45, archived)

poor spacefish :(

( mongychops, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 17:51, archived)

He knew what he was getting in to

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 17:58, archived)

I don't like those, I like normal peas

( mongychops, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 17:50, archived)

Like a Brazil nut?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 18:23, archived)

watching sir john mills on 2 , he won an Oscar for a part where he spoke no lines

( mongychops, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:54, archived)

sorry, I'm washing my hair

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:59, archived)

+bum

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 15:40, archived)

hairbum?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 16:06, archived)

if you like

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 16:30, archived)

Any Which Way Of The Dragonball Z: The Saiyan Saga: Breaking Dawn Of The Dead Man Walking With Dinosaurs Is Missing

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 18:21, archived)

All that + 2: The Klumps

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 19:08, archived)

I hate hospitals
been on the ward awaiting an operation for a week.

the wierd old fucker opposite is about 80 years old weights about 7 stone .

he cannot

stand up unaided
feed himself unaided
pour a glass of water unaided
gets washed dressed unaided

however he can

have 3 or 4 really frantic 20 minute wanks every night without pulling the curtain round in full view and making eye contact with everyone on the ward.

nurses ignore it. I close my curtain and watch iplayer with headphones securly wedged in.

discuss......
(mad_dan Stilton or knob cheese ma'am?, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 12:57, archived)

Sounds like a challenge
I'm sure as a man in the prime of his life you can manage to outwank him.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:12, archived)

just the wanking alone would be a challenge.

but the eye contact, that's his real skill. he almost locks you in (think hypnotoad).

If I had a go id end up on a register. he'll probably continue and have his own tv show on channel 5 .
(mad_dan Stilton or knob cheese ma'am?, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:22, archived)

shout encouragement in his direction
This will either get you moved or make him have the curtain closed.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:19, archived)

Get everyone invovled:
"One, two, three, four I declare a wank war!"
( $$ ✅, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:21, archived)

I like this

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:29, archived)

Would you prefer it if the nurses had to do it for him while you watched?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:26, archived)

thats too open a question?

do I get to choose the nurse?
does he then have the ability to return a public nurse wank to me?
(mad_dan Stilton or knob cheese ma'am?, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:31, archived)

Why don't you instigate a ward vote on the matter?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:33, archived)

This is the nurse
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:34, archived)

dunno but the wife is at work and i've just put the fabric softener in the bit where the detergent should go
and vice versa
( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:40, archived)

you maniac, you've doomed us all!

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:42, archived)

Haven't you got important dog fingerings to do?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:44, archived)

nah, that's just something you have to do to pass the mod exam
i haven't fingered any dogs in years
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 14:36, archived)

You mean you don't like to keep your hand in

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 15:13, archived)

wahey!

( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 15:41, archived)

i'm in a spot of bother and no mistake

( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:47, archived)

rich
Schoolboy error there.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:43, archived)

I'm trying to do some washing too but my wife is in Florence and I don't know whether the tablet goes in draw I or draw II and there's no instructions.
Should I put a tablet in both drawers just to be sure?
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:46, archived)

Just put it in the drum if you're uncertaib
But I'd generally advise against tablets. The caking agent in them often causes blockages in the pump.
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:48, archived)

you might end up with a comedy situation where the entire kitchen is full of soap suds
which only seemed to happen in the 70s
( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:48, archived)

Try it without the tablet

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:51, archived)

i accidentally did a load the other week without any washing powder in.
that's how exciting it is round here.
( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 16:59, archived)

load poo
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 10 Aug 2014, 3:14, archived)

mr.h
yeah it'll teach me to leave the washing machine to the expert
( djrich - Live from Houghton Regis got this thing for Clémence Poésy, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:47, archived)

Don't do yourself down

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:49, archived)

Stop obsessing about his cock and just go over there and suck him off you great big bender

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:44, archived)

bit gay

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:45, archived)

Morning
Who wants to come and whitewash my fence? It's powerful good fun.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 9:14, archived)

na
I'm off to the peak district to find a pub and get quietly pissed
( H.B.Mupps, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 9:43, archived)

make sure you liveblog it on here

( Zuowan, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 9:46, archived)

of course
I'll post pics in a bit
( H.B.Mupps, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 10:06, archived)

yeah, don't actually do this.

( Zuowan, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 10:12, archived)

see, because you telling me not to
makes me want to all the more
( H.B.Mupps, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 10:23, archived)

if you actually want to do this then there's nothing else I can add.

( Zuowan, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 10:38, archived)

I'll get dizzy from the fumes.
So yeah, sure.
( Zuowan, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 9:44, archived)

Cheers, not seeing you yet tho, have you got lost?
This fence isn't going to whitewash itself
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 12:21, archived)

This is not the place to slag off other members' existences. If you don't like it, don't say anything, and don't click "I like this".

(A small damp ball of cotton, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 12:05, archived)

Disgusting
Alt: eh? Come and whitewash my fucking fence.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 12:19, archived)

alright ccj
how's the foot?
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 12:40, archived)

Alright manolith
Still hurting, can't get in at the doctors until 18th though. Be reyt. How's tricks?
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 12:48, archived)

i'm still in reading
escaped the office block though
( manolith hooray for me, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:41, archived)

That's a start, Godspeed you mod emperor

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:48, archived)

You notice your prized whisky is diminished.
You blame your family alcoholic. You curse their name! You get all angry!

BUT IT WAS YOU ALL ALONG. YOU ARE THE REAL BEAST!

Evening - I am on the A'bunadh tonight.

EDIT: Alt: Hmm
( gaijintendo Regular Member, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:52, archived)

Fucking hell, you're even shitter than Spanishfly.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:09, archived)

he's not, but he might be pissed up

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:13, archived)

As in folklore a wise man once says his piece.
Unfortunately this was not you. You UTTER UTTER SPACKCUNT. Fuck off home to your child boy wife
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:29, archived)

why don't you fuck off to your holiday and then just fuck off and maybe fuck off a bit more just in case?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:35, archived)

Do you known what I like about you Mr Horrible?
Fuck all
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:39, archived)

that's because you're a prick and a wanker and a nonce

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:43, archived)

Takes an illiterate fuck to know a nonce

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:44, archived)

I think that is disrespectful to the Yewtree policemen

( gaijintendo Regular Member, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:44, archived)

he's just asking for an off the record beating here

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:45, archived)

Yewtree got nottin' on me
Come comilla come colla....
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:47, archived)

get bent, cockface

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:45, archived)

Hey now here's my best man

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:47, archived)

Alright Mortal Wombat.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 1:30, archived)

P.S. Bumholes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6KzoLrQfus
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:40, archived)

Also just so you know with the whole question mark thing.
I believe but am not certain, that you may have used incorrect grammar and poor prose to your small outburst. However I give it the respect it is due and tell you, sir, to get fucked.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:42, archived)

prick

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:44, archived)

Illiterate fuck munch
You survive so long being illiterate I am surprised your dad knew which way to read your mums cunt
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:49, archived)

why haven't you been banned yet?

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:25, archived)

being dull is not ban worthy, soz

( mongychops, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 0:48, archived)

Fucking Idiot

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 23:04, archived)

That's very hurtful to both of them you terrible bully

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 2:15, archived)

alright gaj
how are you and how's your brother?
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:13, archived)

I am biffo
That guy? He seems to be keeping busy!
Unexpected /linkage right there! How are you yourself?
( gaijintendo Regular Member, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:27, archived)

not so bad sir
much has changed in ten years on both your and my part, I imagine. You on the sauce?
( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:33, archived)

In a good way
It isn't completely escapism. Also, I thought it was a prerequisite for posting here?
( gaijintendo Regular Member, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:44, archived)

How do NASA organise a party?
They planet.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:03, archived)

Disgusting

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:04, archived)

Dis gust ing

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:05, archived)

yeah, i guess

( $$ ✅, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:09, archived)

hahaaaaaa

( H.B.Mupps, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:41, archived)

I bet they could organise a piss up
in zero gravity
( gaijintendo Regular Member, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:52, archived)

You need to change your sig to (-1 like) ( I am guessing more but still staying positive for you bro)

( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 22:27, archived)

they planet in uranus
(mad_dan Stilton or knob cheese ma'am?, Sat 9 Aug 2014, 13:07, archived)

Loads of new internet cretins posting
Why haven't you told them to get fucked yet?

Alt: get fucked
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:27, archived)

Are you still on holiday you fucking slagheap?

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:30, archived)

Yeah another 3 days left.
It's fucking great being here and being able to come on here every few days, annoy a few people then disppear.

What about you you mincing faggot?
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:36, archived)

I'm not on holiday, no

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:37, archived)

Yet you are a mincing faggot.
See you in a few days. Tell mongy his bivvy is shit.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:42, archived)

Oh definitely
Tell him yourself, I don't want to upset him even further
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:44, archived)

my bivvy, the original aqua m3 is the rolls Royce off bivvys, justsaying

( mongychops, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:55, archived)

It'll fall on deaf ears, mongy

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:57, archived)

Tell me more about your kettles.
Also I have massive watch envy right now, considering my smashed shit DKNY one is in the hotel room out of sight and the guy next to me is wearing a fucking smart and I say SMART Casio.
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:05, archived)

Get yourself a Nixon Time Teller
Beautifully understated and built to last, lovely stuff
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:09, archived)

Evening all.
I'm contemplating getting irresponsibly drunk tonight. How about you?
(CrassWar, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:13, archived)

I'm hoping you're contemplating irresponsibly ending it all.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:18, archived)

not yet, I've still got plenty of insults to throw around.
fuckin' chief.
(CrassWar, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:38, archived)

I've got a pain in my fucking foot and all you can think about is getting pissed
Hanging is too good for the likes of you, you fucking cunt.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:27, archived)

I hope you get gangrene or some other troublesome affliction and it ruins your evening.
wanker
(CrassWar, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:35, archived)

Can't see it, but thanks

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:37, archived)

All the adverts tell you to get drunk
"responsibly"
( gaijintendo Regular Member, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:53, archived)

My foot hurts
Alt: I've got a pain in my foot
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:45, archived)

don't care
alt: i suppose i care a little bit
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:59, archived)

Bless you manolith, you're not as hard hearted as I thought
I hope you're having a truly wonderful Friday evening
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:06, archived)

i'm currently stuck in an office block in reading

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:40, archived)

That sounds transcendent
I'm watching football with a beer, with a sore foot.
( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:41, archived)

watching all those people running around making use of their healthy feet
must be tough
( manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:15, archived)

It's like Ludovico's technique, in no way at all

( CaptainCrackerjack live trout, slow motion, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 21:21, archived)

Meh
You've all changed.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:21, archived)

This place would be dead on its arse without you

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:28, archived)

I know
I've been the best thing on here for the past 18 months
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:29, archived)

I'm not sure about that

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 17:43, archived)

Are you sure?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:45, archived)

maybe you have
but I'm still cool as fuck
( $$ ✅, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 15:51, archived)

I had to had the same clothes on for 4 days

( mongychops, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:01, archived)

I had your mum

( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:08, archived)

I'm surprised you remember she's been dead about 20 years, I'd move on if I was you, don't live in the past

( mongychops, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:18, archived)

i can never remember who are whom.

( brb homonecrobatrachophile, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:07, archived)

Alright Goaty
How are things? I'm still a grumpy odd fuck.
( GrandmaOfShoes, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:19, archived)

alright gmos

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:29, archived)

Get around round round I get around.
OOOOhhhhhhhh i get around
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 16:59, archived)

I grew my hair long, and stopped shaving.
Reception has been mixed, but I'd be keen to hear your opinion.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:11, archived)

You haven't, unfortunately.

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:29, archived)

Hold on, you haven't seen the plumber yet.

( Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:53, archived)

sodding plumbers, 20 years I was a sparky and no bored housewife's ever cracked onto me

( mongychops, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 18:56, archived)

another world-class /talk catchphrase!

( manolith hooray for me, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 20:02, archived)

Not me....still got the same pants on

( Benny on the Loose; a permanent solution to a temporary problem, Fri 8 Aug 2014, 19:29, archived)