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# it's too goddamm hot in our office to work

so i done this instead
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:17, archived)
# i'm blond
but if i grow a beard, it goes ginger.

fucking hair.
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:18, archived)
# strawberry
blonde
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:18, archived)
# when was the last time
you saw a blonde strawberry?
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:19, archived)
# don't ask me that
my brother's a geneticist.
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:21, archived)
# is
he single?
;)
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:23, archived)
# he's married.
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:25, archived)
# iain
has 4 children between 9 and 15.
(I helped save b3ta! Lora, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:27, archived)
# and what about from 3pm
until 9am?
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:28, archived)
# wow that's 6 hours!!!
his wife must have made him get the snip after that!
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:29, archived)
# Thats was very young
to have children
(I helped save b3ta! F5 F5 F5 Can't be arsed., Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:30, archived)
# Is this
some strange way of finding out if he's been cloned?
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:25, archived)
# You've got dark hair
how could you possibly grow a strawberry blonde beard?
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:22, archived)
# you have to admit
she's got willpower.
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:22, archived)
# ditto.
but then i also spent 6 months trying to grow side burns.

which were shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:19, archived)
# i have brown hair
in the sun my eyelashes go blonde

if i dont shave for a 2 days i almost have a proper beard. Being a monkey boy is a pain in the arse sometimes...
(Marvellous (mb) Mark, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:20, archived)
# Tell me about it.
At what stage of a relationship is it acceptable to ask your girlfriend to shave your back?
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:22, archived)
# just before you want
to break up with her.
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:23, archived)
# when you've fallen over
and broken both arms?

still, better than being like a man boy, hairless men are somewhat freaky - like them albinos you see in the summer time
(Marvellous (mb) Mark, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:24, archived)
# It will
be very itchy when it grows back. So don't.
(Amerella, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:26, archived)
# she's sepaking from experience.
so, amerella, how's the circus life?
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:27, archived)
[challenge entry] Well the pay's better
now my moustache has grown back.
(Amerella, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:32, archived)
# Hairy back?
(goat thinks you're shit, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:23, archived)
# itchy.
flakey scalp?
(Marvellous (mb) Mark, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:25, archived)
# tired
nervous headache?
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:26, archived)
# Try suicide.
100% effective solution to all your bodily troubles.
(goat thinks you're shit, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:27, archived)
# Don't worry.
Beards are fucking shit. No-one looks good in a beard. Apart from Brian Blessed.
(I helped save b3ta! Baz Fuck off, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:21, archived)
# this is why i am clean-shaven
but can't be arsed to shave too often...
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:21, archived)
# Personally
I still wash, even if I don't shave for a few days - I hate having a dirty beard.
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:23, archived)
# i wash every day.
are you saying you don't wash every day.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:24, archived)
# i think he is.
filthy ijon.
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:25, archived)
# i bet he doesn't wash his hands
after he goes to the toilet.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:28, archived)
# it's the funniest thing in the world
if you're walking out of the men's toilets behind someone, to point at him behind his back, and mouth the words, "didn't wash his hands" at his mates...
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:29, archived)
# I had the scariest experience of my life
in the men's toilets in a pub in Canterbury, because I washed my hands...
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:33, archived)
# Someone once told me
that 65% of men don't wash their hands after going to the toilet.

I thought it was 100%
(I helped save b3ta! F5 F5 F5 Can't be arsed., Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:32, archived)
# Depends
what you mean by "filthy"?
(I helped save b3ta! Ijon Tichy, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:28, archived)
# oooh
my hair is black - but it has grey on the sides.
but my beard (if I were to grow one) is ginger and blond!!

wooooooo
(I helped save b3ta! biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:21, archived)
# "blonde", my arse
you sire, are a ginge - baggsy no comments and no back talk

GINGER-BAP!
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:29, archived)
# The Ginger in my beard
has all gone white.

/you care/
(Soapy, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:18, archived)
# My hair is blond,
but my beard grows blond, ginger and brown.

Beards are strange. Lots of little hairs, BURSTING OUT OF YOUR FACE.
(goat thinks you're shit, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:18, archived)
# goddamm things
least i found me a girly that likes em now, no more having to shave for public appearances! woo!
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:19, archived)
# Shaving,
is fucking irritating.

I need to laser off my chin hair.
(goat thinks you're shit, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:21, archived)
# you
can buy eostrogen(?) that gets rid of it.
As an added bonus - you also grow MASSIVE TITS when you take it.
(I helped save b3ta! biscuits_alive taste my rainbow, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:24, archived)
# Excellent.
No body hair AND moobs. What more could I want?
(goat thinks you're shit, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:26, archived)
# mmmmmmmmmmmmmooooooooobs
.
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:28, archived)
# my beard is odd
i have a little bald patch right under my chin, like an anti-goatee
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:20, archived)
# So does
me laddo.
(Amerella, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:26, archived)
# I get
stubble crop circles on my neck :-?
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:30, archived)
# I was saddened when I found
my first grey beard hair.
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:24, archived)
# was it in your soup?
it was probably a pube
(I helped save b3ta! Spoon, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:28, archived)
# I was
14 when my first, pure white hair was discovered... I`m gonna be like Leslie Nielsen by the time I`m thirty. Without the talent, obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! Reckless_Rik, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:31, archived)
# maybe you've been eating some rusty
hinges
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:19, archived)
# well it wasn't rusty
but it did rhyme with hinge...
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:20, archived)
# it's because
your beard knows:

Ginger people are cool*

*100% of FACT
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:20, archived)
# yup, that must be it
and that gingers are clevererer, but also apparently closer to neanderthal man genetics-wise. goddamm scientists, make up yo minds!
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:22, archived)
# and we're sexier
just ask my wife
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:25, archived)
# the bits of me that are ginger
certainly smell sexier :o
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:29, archived)
# my hair is ginger
and my beard is ginger

how wierd is THAT?
(matt'twam'asi, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:20, archived)
# freak
of nature!
(martian, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:22, archived)
# very
kill yourself now!
(I helped save b3ta! smirny ~(8(|), Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:22, archived)
# ok
wait.... no
(matt'twam'asi, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:23, archived)
# argh!
it can't be real! do you dye one?
(I helped save b3ta! baby wet ones, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:23, archived)
# me too
i seem to remember someone telling me it was common for people with celtic ancestry.

they were probably lying.
(I helped save b3ta! slight yoinks!, Wed 9 Jul 2003, 17:20, archived)