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# I NEED A CHICK
any really hot but low-standards-having girls here wanna offer themselves?
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:26, archived)
# gerroff!
im the one looking for blind dates!
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:26, archived)
# a blind chick would be great
cos then she wouldn't know i was a minging lad. one with no sense of smell would be nice too.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:28, archived)
# we could share her.
I have no pride.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:29, archived)
# and she
would never have to know :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:31, archived)
# we need a b3ta dating service.
if good photoshop skills were good looks, i'd... well, i'd still be a flabby asexual geek. oh well. anyone fancy going on a date with me? oh, hello left hand. come here often?
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:31, archived)
# the left hand?
i come there often.


/disgusting fucking mental picture
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:32, archived)
# ah, unisex
I know it well

(coat)
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:33, archived)
# near essex, isn't it?


*grabs coat and legs it*
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:37, archived)
# essex coat-getting accent joke my dad told me when i was ten.
a lot of people have a problem with acne. so they move to walthamstow.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:54, archived)
# excellent
stuff
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:58, archived)
# dad-jokes RULE.
anyone who hasn't read lumpbuckets pie one below (well, archived now) should, its brilliant.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 15:04, archived)
# you know you are really sad when
you are using your left hand, but thinking about your right....
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:37, archived)
# or
putting nail varnish on and pretending it's a lady
(I helped save b3ta! stouffer, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:39, archived)
# you even two time
yourself?
Saints alive.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:39, archived)
# actually it was a stolen joke
nickedfrom the great George Carlin (he also talks about 'teasing' himself, its disgusting but fucking funny.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:46, archived)
# man
you're a geek AND you're left handed?
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Phil Kitten, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:42, archived)
# yup
and proud of it
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:49, archived)
# Have you
got something against left-handed geeks?

We are many.
(I helped save b3ta! Craymen, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 15:05, archived)
# Sorry
I only have blind dates with Irish blokes.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:29, archived)
# oi! Im a paddy!
GO ME!
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:30, archived)
# I know
I can tell
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:34, archived)
# chonaic me an bo ins na teach amarch.
thats gaelic that is.
Means "I saw a cow in a house tomorrow".
I never passed the exam.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:35, archived)
# Pog ma hone
or whatever it is..
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:36, archived)
# i think it means
"Arrragh, thats my ear you fat monkey loving pikey wombat spiker!"
Or something like that anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:42, archived)
# Got it!

Póg mo thóin.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:45, archived)
# Gay Lick?
Is that some kind of batty language?

(Ali G, back when he was still funny).
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:42, archived)
# Jaysis, Hugo -
Whare de ye hail from? I'm a potato-muncher meself, but I never venture beyond the pale...
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:46, archived)
# I didn't know that
I'm from way beyond the pale. Are you a northsider or southsider?
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:50, archived)
# i hail from the arse end of nowhere
with all the other culchies.
Longford in other words...
Im so fucking glad i left. Gobshites to a man.
Leitrim, where i went to school (HA) ruled tho.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:53, archived)
# do you speak fluent gaelic?
do many people? none of my irish family know any.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:56, archived)
# nope
the only people who speak it are the garda and about 1 shitey newsreader...

there is a town on the west coast where they dont allow anyone to speak english - i went there once and it took about an hour to buy a beer.
So i burned the place to the ground and fucked off.
I got a medal for that.
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:59, archived)
# splendid job
well done.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 15:02, archived)
# There's only one ver' small area of Ireland
where anyone actually speaks Gaelic (like a couple of miles or someat)

but I think you have to learn it in school...

Did Linguistics degree with Irish teacher, but have shit memory so remember inaccurately.
(Amerella, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 15:02, archived)
# Longford?
You poor bastard - you must have had no childhood.
(I helped save b3ta! helmetcream, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 15:58, archived)
# i am about 62% irish
wanna fuck?
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:36, archived)
# No
you're too rude.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:37, archived)
# it is just a gruff exterior
hiding a vulnerable, sensitive and loveable young man with an unconventional yet extreme sexiness. honest.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:42, archived)
# something about your
desperate tone makes me doubt your honesty...
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:45, archived)
# desperate? me? never.
PLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSEEEEEEEE HAVE SEX WITH ME.SOMEONE.ANYONE. ITS BEEN SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:52, archived)
# have a cup of tea, lad.
that's what i do when i'm feeling tense. does wonders for you.

and when i say have i mean drink
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 15:02, archived)
# Yeah
right.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:46, archived)
# Oi! Hugo is the blind date man,
and i'm the resident lonely sadcase.

Get yer own niche :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:29, archived)
# how about
resident unattractive stinking alcoholic manic-depressive nineteen year old who hasn't got laid in eight months and couldn't get laid in britain if he had david beckham sticking out of his fly?
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:35, archived)
# Its too similar to mine
but you can buy the position of lonely sadcase by providing me with a girlfriend.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:39, archived)
# nope.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:44, archived)
# You must be
Setting your standards too high
(I helped save b3ta! chocolatewomble I mostly lurk, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:43, archived)
# okay i'll lower them
they don't need to be brething anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! mikeisbrill, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:53, archived)
# ah you're too late...
there were loads here the other day.
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Mon 15 Apr 2002, 14:30, archived)