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[challenge entry] Cheap, cheerful, and probably bindun more times than a naughty nurse in the pope's hat

From the Office Art challenge. See all 328 entries (closed)

(hmmmzilla - In my country bananas are considered naughty, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:07, archived)
# *groans*
arf!
right.
i'm off to do an fucking audit of the hospitals equipment.
probably see y'all tomorrow.
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:14, archived)
# Oh, steal me a dialysis machine
Or one of those CAT scan dealies
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:15, archived)
# are you taking the piss?
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:23, archived)
# hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:23, archived)
# One CAT scan coming up
(I helped save b3ta! Weetobix, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 11:22, archived)
# silly ivesb!
putting ones cock into things isn't "auditing"
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:17, archived)
# haha
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:18, archived)
# Hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:19, archived)
# Hahaha!
*audits your mum*
(I helped save b3ta! Weetobix, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 11:25, archived)
# Have fun
If you find a copy of HTM 01 lying about near one of the autoclaves, scrump me a copy would you? Ta.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:18, archived)
# wassatthen?
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:28, archived)
# It's the new regulations
for sterilising medicinal devices and products.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:53, archived)
# As much as I love "is it real" and lets be honest, it is best of all the memes
but you were b3tan to this one chief

On a side note, Does anyone know how one can stop sunburn from stinging oh so badly?
Or at least how long sunburn takes to stop hurting. Its like my back is on fire =/
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:15, archived)
# 'Aftersun' available from Tesco etc....
is supposed to help.
(I helped save b3ta! CandleJakk Formerly Che_Guevaras_Sponge, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:17, archived)
# Don't use anything oil based
As it'll cook your skin and make it worse
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:19, archived)
# =/
That doesn't sound good
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:21, archived)
# I think that advice applies
mostly to recent burns, not sunburn. The heat will have gone from sunburn and it is the left-over radiation damage that makes it feel hot.

But yes, definitely don't do the old wives tale thing of putting butter on a burn.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:23, archived)
# Radiation?! =O
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:24, archived)
# yes from the big firey ball in the sky that we call the sun
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:26, archived)
# Bah!
All that radiation and I'm no closer to any super powers. Unless a very sensitive back is a superpower.
Dontslapmysunburn-man!
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:28, archived)
# i had the superpowers of 'slightly hungover man' on sunday morning
powers included aching, hyper sensative senses, like touch and hearing and sight, shuffling about and generally being tired having to get up at 5.30 with the little lady.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:44, archived)
# we should fight crime
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:54, archived)
# i was fighting the urge to go back to bed.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 11:01, archived)
# It does apply to sunburn too
As the skin has been damaged. Oils will make the skin retain heat and essentially cook itself. You can put Lavender essential oil if mixed with something soothing like Aloe Vera gel, but very sparingly
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:30, archived)
# what about cocobutter?
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:31, archived)
# Check the ingredients
Anything that sounds fatty or lipid based is not going to be a great idea. Sudocrem, that magical of all magical things, is A Bad Plan. I know from experience.
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:32, archived)
# Deep heat works well*
*may cause searing pain to the amusement of your friends
(I helped save b3ta! Weetobix, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 11:28, archived)
# Aftersun
and tonnes of it. And try not to touch anything. Although you probably figured these out yourself...

Other than that it took mine nearly a week to stop stinging, and another to stop peeling. But I've still got a bit of a tan. :)
(Mr._Pickles, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:19, archived)
# Looks like aftersun is the way to go
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:29, archived)
#
anti-sunburn cream + hot chick + massage = profit
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:20, archived)
# Sounds good up to the massage which would probably make me wail like a girl
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:22, archived)
# Actually anyone who has ever said anything like that has been a man.
So the correct term is [wail/scream/shriek/etc.] like a man.
(Smoked Oysters Yes, magick helmet! And I will give you a sample!, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:55, archived)
# Aloe vera is supposed to be pretty good for it.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:20, archived)
# get someone to slap your back really hard
once the pain subsides the slap will have breifly anaesthetised the area
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:20, archived)
# I assume it'll be anaesthetised after I've finished screaming and rolling on the floor
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:23, archived)
# trust me*




*don't trust me
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:29, archived)
# Uh, they sound messy
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:26, archived)
# true...
I don't care, I'm not the one with a burned back :p
(this week i am mostly - medicated, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:47, archived)
# get an aloe vera cactus
break off a leaf and rub the soft inside part on the sunburn.
better than any after sun on the market
(I helped save b3ta! Aphex The Mink Snackless, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:21, archived)
# *Note to self, buy cactus*
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:23, archived)
# this
but with the whole cactus
(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:24, archived)
# Ladel tuna and mayonaisse sandwich filler onto the affected areas.
Massage into skin with a silk handkerchief.
Repeat.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:22, archived)
# with or without lemon and black pepper?
(I helped save b3ta! AutoPrawn is glad we're living in the future now, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:24, archived)
# McCain's Crisp n' Dry
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:23, archived)
# partial severance of the spinal column to cut of pain signals to the brain.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:25, archived)
# peel it off
and grow a new one
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:25, archived)
# Get
Monumentally drunk. The pain will subside and then after you've gone to sleep all the pain in your skin will have moved to your head where two ibuprofen and a quick nap will rid you of it completely!!
(I helped save b3ta! Ril3y is a brit abroad.. bring on the Stella / Asahi, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:26, archived)
# Pearl of wisdom...
The best cure for sunburn is suntan lotion not aftersun! Wack suntan lotion on your stingy bits it it works wonders.
(Div My world's on fire... how 'bout yours?, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:39, archived)
# SAVLON!
(I helped save b3ta! - D - SharkTrousers, Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:40, archived)
# yeah, I'm afraid so...
www.b3ta.com/board/7240605

Great minds and all that!

:)
(jammietarts ..., Mon 4 Jun 2007, 10:55, archived)