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# Toasty's link below compelled me..
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 11:57, archived)
# they've set up shop in town here
and started sending 5000 question surveys through our doors

I'm calculating the best way to wind them up
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 11:58, archived)
# are they the Dianetics people?
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 11:59, archived)
# right 'fuck off you cultist bastards'
in really big letters on the front of their 'shop'

they probably wouldn't like that at all
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 11:59, archived)
# write* my dear.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:00, archived)
# oh cunts
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:01, archived)
# that's what they do to you
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:02, archived)
# *takes her Micto hat off*
You know if we do this b3ta wet t shirt thing I'm wearing the ALF one.

Which has had many compliments.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:04, archived)
# or rent the shop next door
and put up a big sign in the window saying
'liars and cheats' with a big arrow pointing to them
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:00, archived)
# one of the shop next door is a painting selling place
perhaps some of the paintings could be replaced
(I helped save b3ta! VampireMonkeyOnSpeed a super sexy sexual sex terrorist sex, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:07, archived)
# Pfft, I've done one of them surveys.
They take at least four days.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:00, archived)
# There's an online
version I did. It took forever, there was about 200 questions. By the end of it all I was tired and depressed
and well in need of a Scientologist to come and tell me how rubbish I am and to take all my money!

They don't even give you the results online, you have to go along to one of their "Testing Centers" to get them
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:11, archived)
# same here- my results are being sent to the Hawaiian 'church'
which I'm sure they'll appreciate.

They're addressed to Mrs DavidIckeEsque CompleteAndUtterLunatics
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:13, archived)
# *sigh*


This is not the future.

*ambles off to look at fences and country bumpkin knees*
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:19, archived)
# That sounds like a wonderful future!
I shall join you..


HIS KNEES ARE AT SHINS!
(I helped save b3ta! The Neville What what what, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:28, archived)
# oh the neville
you keep me on the straight and leville
with your breville
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:34, archived)
# Shit through their letterbox.
The old classic.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:00, archived)
# superglue in the locks is another standard
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:01, archived)
# As is
a good hard twatting with a knobbly stick.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse plop, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:10, archived)
# Do the questionaire,
then before you post it back, rub your balls all over it.

It might not achieve much, but imagine the sense of satisfaction!
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:04, archived)
#
balls faecal matter
(I helped save b3ta! Damien's Hearse, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:11, archived)
# they used to have a shop on tottenham court road
I went in to get out of the rain once, and did their free "personality test" which they mark (by running the multiple choice answers through a computer) then show you the graph that has 0-100 where 50 for each trait is 'normal'. The tests are created so nearly everyone comes out at about 45% across the board and they can say "you're ok, nearly as good as a normal person, but you could be so much better if you bought everything L.R.Hubbard ever fucking wrote".

I noticed the test had a lot of Social Desirability Factor questions in it. (questions everyone lies on and which are meant to establish how truthful you're being) so I answered all the normal questions with scrupulous accuracy and answered all the SD questions like I was a saint.

their graph came back as a flatline along the bottom with a single peak (because I open doors for people) and the nice young scientologist looked a bit upset, moved her chair away a bit and eventually said
"I don't think there's anything we can do for you. Could you leave?"
(I helped save b3ta! Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:19, archived)
# Hahaha
You're probably the reason why they moved round the corner next to Goodge Street Tube.
(I helped save b3ta! Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:27, archived)
# Elrond's cupboard?
In the cupboard there is:

the dead warg.
Thorin.
some lunch.
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 11:58, archived)
# PFFFFFFT!!!
/edit/ 'lo all
(I helped save b3ta! Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:01, archived)
# *gives muddy hug*
'lo
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:02, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 11:59, archived)
# I don't get why people want to stop scientology becoming a religion
It's a fraudulent, dangerous organisation who pedals lies in the pursuit of power and wealth and most of its scriptures were written under the influence of drug abuse. Just sounds like another church to me.
(Guineapiggy Fuzzeh!, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:01, archived)
# well, yes
but it would give it an element of legitimacy
and we all know what christianity managed to achieve with that cache
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:03, archived)
# cachet
(I helped save b3ta! Debbilgrrrrl is kinda back, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:28, archived)
# or political party....
(I helped save b3ta! crazyjude is very happy with happytoast and his skill, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:03, archived)
# That too
(Guineapiggy Fuzzeh!, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:04, archived)
# Yep
I'm against funding for ALL religions
(I helped save b3ta! The Coast Of Yemen, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:04, archived)
# *liberates money from collection plate*
(I helped save b3ta! Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:05, archived)
# Amen *Stands*
(Guineapiggy Fuzzeh!, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:07, archived)
# *applauds*
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:16, archived)
# yay
become a premium member for only $5 per month!
-free email
-thought spam filter
-mug
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Tue 26 Jun 2007, 12:02, archived)