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# I am doing animal stuff today....

this is a labrabooby.
(londoner, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 14:59, archived)
# by "animal stuff"
you do mean bestiality, don't you?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:00, archived)
# Pffft.... "boobies"
Woo!
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:00, archived)
# blimey,
you'd be careful when he sniffs your crotch..
(I helped save b3ta! glubglub should be working on, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:01, archived)
# Or fetches a ball...
(I helped save b3ta! ..wil, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:03, archived)
# I am also doing animal stuff
*crawls about and humps legs*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:02, archived)
# SIT.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:05, archived)
# *sits*
*remembers is now an animal*
*cleans self*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:06, archived)
# *pets*
*tickles chin*

Fluffy D:
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:07, archived)
# Ruff!
I think I'd like to be a french bulldog, so that's what I am. *potters about looking odd*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:09, archived)
# How apt!
I want a puppy :(
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:10, archived)
# No you don't
They're worse than children
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:12, archived)
# I really do.
So much so, it makes me sad.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:16, archived)
# I do too.
I want a boxer, a French bulldog and an English bulldog.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:14, archived)
# I want a Choc lab, or a Lurcher.
Not an ugly dog.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:17, archived)
# A mate's got a lurcher.
She's half black lab, half whippet. She's so gorgeous, but shitscared of anything noisy.

Great gun dog, then.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:20, archived)
# There's a lovely one across the road called Meg, and she's the sweetest dog ever.
I WANT PUPPY, FAE. A PUPPY. HALP.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:22, archived)
# I wish I could. Find one you like at a shelter
and I shall pop round and play with it with you.

You said you were 45 minutes from London, so am I, this means we either live very close or not too far away.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:24, archived)
# I'm inbetween London and the south coast. I assume you're the other direction?
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:26, archived)
# Up a bit, then left.
Buckinghamshire.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:27, archived)
# Ages away then!
*mutters*

I can't wait for puppy that long :(

(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:28, archived)
# Well you'd best think of something then!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:34, archived)
# *kidnaps Wow*
SAM WANT PUPPY.

Growl.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:40, archived)
# You've got a chocolate lab!
Ungratefull :(
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:21, archived)
# Oww!
HE RAN AWAY. HE SAID I WAS JUST TOO COOL.
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:23, archived)
# He is insecure about his level of coolness.
Try wearing baggy jeans and listening to nu-metal. I hear they're not cool anymore.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:25, archived)
# I wear black band tshirt exclusively and have long hair... does that suffice?
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:27, archived)
# It depends,
if the band is liked by more than three people then it's officialy uncool.
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:29, archived)
# ...Marginal.
*listens to Ocrilim*
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:30, archived)
# ...Margerine.
*listnes to Utterly Butterly*
(I helped save b3ta! the_rhyme_minister has a little bit of gold and a pager, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:37, archived)
# mmm chocolate lab = chocolate science!
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:24, archived)
# *records*
*sells*

*profits*
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:08, archived)
# *buys*
*copies*
*distributes*
*profits*
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:09, archived)
# ROLL UP, ROLL UP
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:10, archived)
# *rolls*
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:10, archived)
# YES PLEASE, YES PLEASE
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:11, archived)
# You want a roll up?
I know you, you've got cigarettes somewhere on your person.

Although meporn would sell like hotcakes. There isn't enough pirate porn about. *considers*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:14, archived)
# *subscribes*
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:17, archived)
# yes, pirate porn
surely theyve done a porny pirates of the caribbean?
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:22, archived)
# yep
it's called simply "Pirates".

It won several awards, apparently. I kinda skipped through it, as it had shitloads of plot delivered in unconvincing serving-wench accents, and the sex wasn't that great either.

Another emvee porn review this time next week
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:24, archived)
# I was deeply disappointed by the porny remakes of famous films
can't remember the exact titles, something like the Naked Blair Witch Project and a couple others that escape me still.

I probably shouldn't have expected DP or Ass2Mouth videos from blockbuster though.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:28, archived)
# I know the Blair Witch one of which you speak.
It made me giggle, as most of the scenes are repeated straight after themselves, only mirrored.

Edit: The Erotic Witch Project, yes?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:29, archived)
# haha yes, I spotted that
I only found one of the ladies attractive sadly... I think her name is Misty Mundae or something.
I hate soft porn. I feel like it is directly goading me.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:31, archived)
# Which one was she, the one with the curly dark hair?
Soft porn is for girls.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:35, archived)
# Aye, but it was all that
heavily over-produced porn that they do these days. And I think Jenna was in it.

I mean low-down-dirty pirate porn with grog and swords and FIGHTING.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:28, archived)
# and pirate puns!
"Are you going to make me walk the plank Captain Jack?"

"On the contrary, you dirty little wench, you shall suck my plank! ARRR!"
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:33, archived)
# \o/
Exactly this.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:34, archived)
# YOU'D HAVE TO WEAR A FALSE MOUSTACHE
...



*reveals secret fetish*

*shames*
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:22, archived)
# You need the badge that's in my profile.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:30, archived)
# I do indeed
Some of my lady friends took fake moustaches to Glade...and when I got back, I found the only pictures I took the entire weekend were of girls with moustaches.

That's when I knew.
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:36, archived)
# Life changing moment?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:39, archived)
# Self-realisation
I mean, it's not a dealbreaker, but a false 'tache definitely piques my interest. Perhaps I should start a niche porn site...
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:44, archived)
# nings Cap'n
*pokes on facebook*
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:09, archived)
# Ningles my hard rocking amigo.
I shall check it when I get home.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:10, archived)
# Excellente
I've been playing with friends lists all weekend

I now have "London", "Walsall", "Brighton", "Buenos Aires", "Transfans", "B3ta" and "Ladies"

It's like the temazepam of the Interwebs
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:13, archived)
# I have no idea what I've got.
Is it just me or is facebook quite hard to get used to? Not that I've ever really tried.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:15, archived)
# dunno
I'm kinda reliant on it for keeping in touch with the UK as most of my friends are on there...I'll probably use it less once I return home. It is kinda fun though.

Me and one of my friends have started a game to tell someone's "Stupidity Score" simply by counting the number of application icons underneath their profile picture...mine is 12 (including the 2 I am developing), while I know people with 80+ scores...simply incredible.
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:20, archived)
# It confuses the hell out of me.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:23, archived)
# Few simple rules:
1) Most of the applications are pure spam. Few have any real value, and some are a royal pain in the arse - see 2)

2) Avoid Superwall, Funwall and their heinous brethren like the plague. They allow other users to post stuff to your profile, which will invariably include chain letters, novelty porn, goatse and everything else glasscock. They make your profile look like a first-year student's inbox and it's the quickest way to tell visitors to your profile "I AM A COMPLETE IDIOT".

3) Avoid putting personal information like your full birthday on your profile. The quickest way to identity theft is telling everyone on the internet your details.

4) Everyone uses their HappyToast zombie pic on their profile at some point. But you knew that already :)
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:31, archived)
# ^this, but
re: 3) - You can restrict info to friends. So long as you keep to this rule:

5) Only friend people that you have met in meatspace (IRL).

As for the application-spam stuff, they try dirty tricks like : "Don't let your friend down by not adding this!" when someone clicks on the, I dunno, "Ask all the people on my list about this stupid shit!!" button.
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:37, archived)
# yes to 5)
for sure

though I have a couple of fb-friends I've only met online, I know them sufficiently well to bend the rule.

The applications I'm working on atm will be 100% spam-free. Yay.
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:47, archived)
# He's ace!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:05, archived)
# aww dogs are great
:)
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:05, archived)
# i seem to be doing them all the time myself


(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:05, archived)
# "i seem to be doing them all the time myself"
O RLY :O
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:08, archived)
# yes i just love the animals
but i need some ky jelly for some of em :P
(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:09, archived)
# can i dump this here?
www.b3ta.com/board/8127033
incase no one looks down the board :)
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:11, archived)
# maybe...
(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:14, archived)
# parteeeeee!
(I helped save b3ta! Turdos last had the shites, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 16:49, archived)
# they're greeeeat
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:09, archived)
# the fox/squirrel is brilliant
(londoner, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:12, archived)
# ^This^
With bells on
(Mrs Trellis GIN, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:13, archived)
# Ah, we meet again.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:13, archived)
# that we do
(I helped save b3ta! Dances with Rabbits Back to Education i go, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:15, archived)
# It's annoying, I'd like to make another one now,
but I have work to do. I'll content myself to repost.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:17, archived)
# He looks sad
* tickles
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:16, archived)
# He wishes he could fly, up into the sky.
But he can't.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:18, archived)
# hahaha!!
good..... thing..
*pats*
(I helped save b3ta! ivesb Highly specialised Clinical Physiologist crapbag, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:06, archived)
# Lovely!
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 3 Mar 2008, 15:34, archived)