b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » XXX » Message 8399423 (Thread)

# Not done one of these in a while
and I'm bored so you can have this



www.b3tards.com/u/5d4c552eb78a7f1b7de2/anotherone.jpg
Click that text there for all the biggerness
(I helped save b3ta! TBL I posted this on, Sat 24 May 2008, 20:46, archived)
# URANSU!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 24 May 2008, 20:47, archived)
# UVAVU!
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 24 May 2008, 20:57, archived)
# ULLAH!!!
*heat rays everyone*
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 May 2008, 20:58, archived)
# Are you a Space Muslim?
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:04, archived)
# *burns space embassy*
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:10, archived)
# And how exactly is a space embassy supposed to
burn with no oxygen?
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:13, archived)
# Space embassies
are always encased in an oxygen bubble. I thought everyone knew that?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:14, archived)
# well duh! it's like totally common sense!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:15, archived)
# *Vacuums*
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:17, archived)
# that sucks!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:19, archived)
# Who isn't?
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:13, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 May 2008, 20:52, archived)
# this looks chocolately
I bet it came from a big squirrel

:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:20, archived)
# Thats no moon...
TJ : how do i stop next doors cat trying to eat my baby blue tits? the bastard thing keeps knocking their little house over, don't worry he can't get in, but I don't want it pawing away at the little fuckers
I've since secured the house they have decided to live in (a tall plant pot, surprised it doesnt fill with water... but hey!) with some bamboo canes, I thought I may have scared the parents away with the scent of SkUG all over their lovely house, but the parents just flew straight in :D
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:04, archived)
# wring the verminous cunt's
little neck. It's ok, you can kill cats as long as you are not torturing them.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:06, archived)
# but next door won't be happy
and i'm allergic to cats :(
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:09, archived)
# tell them
to put a bell on it's collar before you put a noose round it's neck. cats are fucked for bird stalking when they are jangling like a pinball machine. But no, I jest. Kill it. Seriously.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:15, archived)
# its got a bell
but the birdies are in the nest and are just starting to grow feathers
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:17, archived)
# then start feeding it
with kitty kat and anti freeze. It won't last long.

put some big plastic coke/soda bottles full of water around the place. I hear they don't like that. But you are within your rights to kill a pest cat if it is killing mammals in your garden ( they kill an estimated 57 million mammals a year ).
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:23, archived)
# I'm not going to kill my next door neighbours kitten!
I still think people should train cats, same as dogs
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:26, archived)
# you can't train a cat.
You can only hope it hangs around because you give it food. That is the sum total meaning to the cat - human relationship.
I'd love to see all these cat worshippers take me up on the challenge to keep putting them out at night but stop feeding them and see just how quick their beloved moggy pisses off to another handout.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:30, archived)
# pfft
any animal can be trained
....just tie it to the tracks
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:31, archived)
# train them
to walk into sacks with bricks in? yeh that's a good plan
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:40, archived)
# Birds aren't mammals
Cats also need 5 meals a day, and as such, tend to have 5 owners.

/cat knowledge
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Sat 24 May 2008, 21:28, archived)
# at least my frogs are safe (so far)
they're still tadpoles - yay!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:31, archived)
# don't get fish then
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Sat 24 May 2008, 21:33, archived)
# they're in the big pond :D
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:34, archived)
# hooray!
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Sat 24 May 2008, 21:38, archived)
# I know birds are not mammals.
do I strike you as some ill-educated half-wit?
I'm just saying that you can kill cats. Goes back to old by laws where you could be prosecuted for killing a dog because he was a licensed animal and someone's property. You could not be prosecuted for killing a cat becasue they were just animals that people let run wild.
My neighbours are quite far from me but they know they won't see a cat again if it's on my lawn.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:33, archived)
# Sorry, was joking (badly)
And apparently the internet has deleted half my words from this post. And I can't remember what I wrote.
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Sat 24 May 2008, 21:37, archived)
# cats are now
property under the 2006 animal welfare law so I'm wrong to say you can kill a cat. You would be charged with criminal damage which could get you up to a £25 fine.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:38, archived)
# Bargain!
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Sat 24 May 2008, 21:41, archived)
# I'll keep
a hundred in the drawer just in case.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:42, archived)
# Cats are fucking nasty
They need to be killed at the end of kittenhood. Cats do not like the following:

Being sprayed with water
Dogs, or recordings of dogs
Nasty shocks
Loud noises
Being kicked
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Sat 24 May 2008, 21:08, archived)
# D:<
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:10, archived)
# Which way round am I supposed to be looking at that?
I only recognise English...
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Sat 24 May 2008, 21:13, archived)
# ...Enge...leeesh?
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:18, archived)
# Actually, I can recognise other languages as well
I just don't speak or read or write them.
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Sat 24 May 2008, 21:21, archived)
# I'm at work, my dog is away but I do have a "cardboard" aka resin dog out there (my mum bought it - don't ask!) which isn't working
Loud noises won't help the birdies either...
And as for kicking it... its bloody fast!
not sure how to apply a shock to a kitty without cooking it...
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:10, archived)
# Sneaking up on them scares them fucking witless
(I helped save b3ta! Awesome Welles petitioning for foetuses to be rebranded 'wombles', Sat 24 May 2008, 21:13, archived)
# A scent alarming to a cat perhaps? Don't needlessly hurt the animal though, that's not on
I'm not particularly knowledgeable about this sort of thing, and all my wealth of useful information and websites you could consult are at work
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:18, archived)
# I need some lion poo
oh yes, moth balls that scares cats... now will it affect birdies?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:18, archived)
# Hahaha
Amazingly, I can probably arrange that; not sure how it would go down on the tube home
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:22, archived)
# its expensive stuff to buy
its about £10 for a 1kg pot (last time I checked)
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:43, archived)
# Well our Lions shit all over the place
i'll have words on Tuesday if you are serious, unless our keepers are selling the stuff on the side
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:47, archived)
# they process it into pellets
and it doesn't smell (to humans anyways) and it keeps the garden chemcical free :)
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:54, archived)
# hahaha
Add:
Fire.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:15, archived)
# thats the only way to make a cat bark isn't it?
(disclaimer - do not set fire to cats - they do not enjoy it)
WOOF :D
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:42, archived)
# A tall plant pot?
You can't really do much if they are so daft to nest there
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:08, archived)
# here


its part of a water feature, which is turnt off in the winter due to frost, but in the summer its normally turnt on, last year we accidentally flooded their nest - oops, got 3 baby chicks in there now :D
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:11, archived)
# Bugger, if they've already nested they won't move
put up a few bird boxes suitable for them I guess, for the future perhaps

I've two on the house
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:15, archived)
# I have 5 in my garden
and 4 have breeding pairs in. I'm quite chuffed. Makes me feel better about shooting them with air rifles when I was a kid.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:16, archived)
# Hahaha
Good for you there chap! Such humble, and extremely easy contributions to our native wildlife really don't cost that much or take much effort

and it is ever so nice to have birds like tits fluttering about in such close proximity
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:20, archived)
# what i like is when people put peanuts out for birds
I know its a nice thing to do and stuff, but all the bits on the floor, if you wait long enough you will see a big fat rat come and eat the bits that have fallen off!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:24, archived)
# There is a slightly odd Hindu woman who without fail every morning
scatters loads of fucking bird seed outside East Finchley tube station, it seems just as I am walking past

that summons 'Attila's Pigeon hoard'
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:32, archived)
# they put signs up to stop people feeding the flying rats
seaguls are getting brave around here too, stealing pasties from the grockles
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:34, archived)
# Cunts
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:42, archived)
# eee what a cheeky little feathered bastard
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:45, archived)
# I like crows
they are much more polite
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:45, archived)
# yeah, but the way seagulls handle flick knives
nobody is going to mess with them
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:44, archived)
# I only ever shot at an animal once
and even then it was with a gun (air rifle) i found on the side of the road, thinking back it was probably part of a robbery or something... anyways, it was a crow and I hit its wing (with a feathered dart) and it went straight though and the bird flew off, after that I didn't see the point of shooting at animals
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:21, archived)
# I've shot lots of things.
Some I'm ashamed of and some not. As a kid if it moved I would shoot it but I was a kid and i lived in farmland, it's what we do. I've killed a few foxes, on request. I've shot many crows and magpies. Farmers gave you pocket money for killing vermin. I've shot Iraqis and my mate in the thigh.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:28, archived)
# I used to live by a farm
i'm used to things being shot, and I understand the reasoning but its not in my nature to harm things, one day i'll snap and kill some goddamn stupid tourist though :)
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:30, archived)
# bird boxes are already installed... and are currently empty!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:18, archived)
# Wow
There's loads of them!



:D
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:16, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:19, archived)
# O_o
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:33, archived)
# what a large peanuts stash you have
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:35, archived)
# all the better to make nut cutlets with
O_O
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:37, archived)
# that does sound like some strange nocturnal animal
nutcutelettes!
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:38, archived)
# sounds more like some kind of comedy 1960's band from some random town in lancashire
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:47, archived)
# which they named after that animal?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:51, archived)
# Hahahaha
YOUR NUTS!!?
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Sat 24 May 2008, 22:18, archived)
# NUTS YAY
(I helped save b3ta! Ysol ab abl blap, Sat 24 May 2008, 23:36, archived)
# Shite.
There's not too many ways to scare them off without topping them.
Water pistols work if you can spare a few days to watch the garden. They really hate being hit with those things and will eventually piss off.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 24 May 2008, 21:29, archived)
# Be nice to have some time off....
6 day week anyone?
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Sat 24 May 2008, 21:39, archived)