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# Hi there.....
I am brand new to this, been lurking a while and finally decided to get on in there.
I asked for some help with explaining how all this all works on the talk board and just got a load of people calling me c*u*n*t.
I hope you guys aer nicer than this, I just need a little guidance on how this all works.
I'm lovely, me, so be a mate and help me out.
xXXx

Edit: If I've written this in the wrog place (after seeing your pics) please don't tell me off, just let me know what in the hell I should be doing!!
(leglesss let that be a lesson to you, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:36, archived)
# No-one will call you a cunt here
1) Do photoshop
2) Post
3) Join in all our reindeer games.
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:38, archived)
#
No-one
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:51, archived)
#


Hello new person. Please read our FAQ. Cheers.
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:38, archived)
# you'll get
much of the same here. Except those cunts at /talkbollocks are not a patch on our ire.

Just read the fucking FAQ.
www.b3ta.com/features/faq/
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:38, archived)
# You've obviously not been lurking that long. HELLO, NEW PERSON.
ARE YOU A CAT?
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:38, archived)
# Well normally, people tend to use this board to post photoshops
there is no rule to say you have to, but most of the people here are assholes who like to make up their own rules and shout at other people who break them.

You should probably start by reading the FAQ. It has not been updated for about 4 years, but might get you started in the right direction.

b3ta.com/features/faq/

Otherwise, sit back and watch for a while - you will pick it up. Or open photoshop and make a picture - we like that.

And if anyone calls you a rude name, tell them to fuck off.


(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:39, archived)
# ^This.
And ignore Pasanonic, he's a dick :]
(I helped save b3ta! ClanSoul, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:40, archived)
# ^this
also ignore ClanSoul, he's only trying to get into your knickers
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:42, archived)
# what about me?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:43, archived)
# i'm still trying to get you out of mine
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:45, archived)
# Fuck no.
:]
(I helped save b3ta! ClanSoul, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:55, archived)
# lol
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 broke b3ta and made everyone leave, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:45, archived)
# we have to make up our own rules now.
you are such a lazy bastard bob and won't update them ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:41, archived)
# It is so hard to try to rewrite the FAQ
when you know that people will ignore the important bits ("Don't be a cunt') and take the less important bits as some kind of divine law ("That image is 51KB! Be you chastised to hell!!").
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:44, archived)
# Do I look like a man
who accepts excuses? ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:53, archived)
# OK - new FAQ
Rule #1, No Panasonic.

*BANS*
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:56, archived)
# Oh for fucks sake.
not again?
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:58, archived)
# IT'S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD
 
NOW FUCK OFF AND KILL YOURSELF
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 1:49, archived)
# What?
I am revolting!
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:59, archived)
# no you are not dahling.
you are just the sweetest thing! ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Thu 16 Oct 2008, 0:00, archived)
# You build up our expectations only to dash them with sarcasm.
Why? WHY?!
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:59, archived)
# It's great to know you think so highly of us
*flounces*
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:51, archived)
# what are the missing letters?
i don't know any seven letter words spelt like taht
(cs192 is sucking on a Koala at, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:39, archived)
# Cournut
(I helped save b3ta! Ttssattsr, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:41, archived)
# You mean rellies.
Short for relatives in my neck of the woods!
(leglesss let that be a lesson to you, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:42, archived)
# Oh no.
an antipodean. It's all going downhill.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:43, archived)
# we don't drink stella.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:45, archived)
# Then how do you explain those bruises?
(I helped save b3ta! Kamikaze Stoat £4.09, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:50, archived)
# they're fake
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:51, archived)
# if you posted this one hour later
you'd be in gayshift

and people would be fluffy

but it's not

so now I'm going outside to set fire to ming vases
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:39, archived)
# Minge vases
MINGE VASES!
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:42, archived)
# CRIVVENS MA BOAB! I HAVE JUXTAPOSED MY MING AND MINGE VASES!
oh what a mishap!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:43, archived)
# The best kind of mishap.
The smell of burnt pubic hair in the air tonight
/sting
(Jeru War and Piss, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:46, archived)
# "I can smell it, burning in the air tonight, oh lord"
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:48, archived)
# Oof!
Shards!
(I helped save b3ta! Bingowings 2011 Businessman of the Year (Watford Branch), Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:47, archived)
# CHRIST! shaaaaaaaaaards! thaaaaaasands of 'em!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:48, archived)
# ok. the talk board don't really seem to like people with L-plates.
/board doesn't really like text posts like that. have a read of the faq. www.b3ta.com/board/features/faq

which will sortof tell you how to use the board and stuff.

then join in by talking to people in their treads and by making and posting pictures
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:41, archived)
# oh yeah, pictures
I knew there was something I haven't done recently
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:42, archived)
# This is the fluffiest collective response I've seen to a text post.
Awww, you guys are all so flufferly and cute.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:44, archived)
# do you think i can score with her now?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:46, archived)
# Which regular are you?
A mod should see your IP address and have the last laugh
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:42, archived)
# i don't know that it is.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:44, archived)
# much mirth elsewhere
we catch them quick!
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:47, archived)
# I was thinking
this...
(I helped save b3ta! enceladus, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:45, archived)
# 80.00.81.35
Ha ha ha!
(I helped save b3ta! Mystery_Bob, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:48, archived)
# 710.77345
no, hang on..
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:49, archived)
# wut?
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:50, archived)
# duh...
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:51, archived)
# Hahah
That's probably mine
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:53, archived)
# CLICK THE "L" NEXT TO YOUR NAME
:)
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Wed 15 Oct 2008, 23:46, archived)