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# a Mini Adventure
I went here news.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=%2Fnews%2F2001%2F11%2F25%2Fncrime25.xml and got the surprise of my life.

Is this the advertising we have to 'look forward' to now?

(reload a few times if you don't get it right away)

Fnord.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 17:25, archived)
# My favourite bit...
"Children involved in cheekiness, minor vandalism and causing nuisances, will be targeted"

I think people in general are too liberal when it comes to cheekiness. I agree a more heavy handed approach is needed.
(Esteban, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 3:52, archived)
# I've got a graphics tablet for my birthday
and I've made an obscene animation.

Do you like?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 17:09, archived)
# heh
incredible.
(Giblet, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 17:13, archived)
# It's a thing of beauty rob
or maybe it's smut.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 3 Dec 2001, 18:13, archived)
# Is It
A self portrait?
(Man In A Suitcase, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 3:01, archived)
# sorry about this
I was drunk when I posted it ....
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 4:26, archived)
# Happy birthday then!
And many happy obscene animations!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 18:21, archived)
# oh my god
im getting a graf tab in a week m8 4 my b*day...maybe i can do the same.............hmmmmmmm maybe not
(rik, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 18:25, archived)
# Anyone heard of
the animator Phil Mulloy? I was reminded of his work.
(Ernest Thesiger, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 19:07, archived)
# late but what the hell




(sorgboi, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 16:26, archived)
# I like the CQ one.
"We're all fucked." What a succinct headline. Though by the look of evil in the cat's eyes, they're quite probably right.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 16:52, archived)
# I don't care you are late
-- you are a genius & more than welcome here.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 16:55, archived)
# the
hello one is amazing
(Giblet, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 17:11, archived)
# my first movie
codebase="http://active.macromedia.com/flash2/cabs/swflash.cab#version=4,0,0,0"
ID=background width=640 height=480>
(buskila, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 15:41, archived)
# you got orson welles
shaking in his boots my man. i should know, cos im in there with him.
(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 16:02, archived)
# whats that smell?
(steeev, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 14:14, archived)
# this cat doesnt like u
As referred to some time in the future...

NSFW and nasty
(steeev, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 13:57, archived)
# that's like our cat
he's called rocky - and he's evil.

he waits at the top of the stairs and bites my legs.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 16:57, archived)
# My cat does that too.
She's perfectly nice everywhere else but at the top of the stairs she's truely evil.
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Tue 4 Dec 2001, 5:01, archived)
# Sorry,
This is pointless, but she is my old boss, i hate her and i have spent the whole day doing this, so i feel like sharing it with you!




Does anyone else see that tumble weed go by?
(I helped save b3ta! JamboM, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:54, archived)
# Evil Byotch.
Can I shag er.,,> ??
(Ix the Wiz, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 13:46, archived)
# yey for B3ta!
next weeks photoshop comp has simply got to be an Xmas card comp, with crazy stuff, and lots of furtive bears.
(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:51, archived)
# look! it's me!
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:06, archived)
# is that really a web cam?
hmm?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:26, archived)
# surely it is...
aye... Kind of. It only updates every 2 minutes or so.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:29, archived)
# Yup
I see what you mean. It really is a web cam isn't it. Hooray!
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:38, archived)
# it's a very nice
one too.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:39, archived)
# so it is
how lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:40, archived)
# it's still
lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Tue 16 Sep 2003, 10:31, archived)
# What is IT?
Find out here.
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:59, archived)
# Hmm
a C5 for the 21st century?
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:37, archived)
# i never realised
walking was such a terrible thing. do you think they'll make one with the wheels on sideways, for the crustacean market?
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 13:51, archived)
# In the future everyone will have at least one!
" more important than pantyhose and it's more important than the Internet," said Metcalf in an interview in January.

Yeah, right...
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 16:58, archived)
# is this the funniest image in the world?
- google images thinks so.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:45, archived)
# a true gem
but i must ask what on earth the girl in the middle at the back thinks she is
(Giblet, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:49, archived)
# apparently these girls are
the 4th most hilarious thing ever.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:00, archived)
# the world's smallest reptile
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:19, archived)
# or the world's
biggest coin.
(I helped save b3ta! AndyK, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:20, archived)
# my electron microscope tells a different story
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:26, archived)
# So that's where
my pet lizard went. Can I have him back please? His name is Albert.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:34, archived)
# Nano-Albert
is mine now. he says you were mean to him. he doesn't want to come.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:39, archived)
# It was an accident
when I hovered him up.
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:49, archived)
# Is that
the world's smallest seahorse behind the pin?
(Ernest Thesiger, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 13:25, archived)
# yes
it belongs to me and its name is harry
(Naughty Tortoise, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 15:15, archived)
# In a universe far far away ...

Why dont humans go red when boiled ?
(anat0010, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:17, archived)
# What colour do they go?
I'd have thought red was a good bet...
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:20, archived)
# what colour does boiled pork go?
hmm?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:27, archived)
# Depends how long you leave 'em
grey and mushy if too long.
The anatomist ! (ex)
(anat0010, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:28, archived)
# How many people have you boiled then?
Should we be scared?
I was thinking of going red in a sauna, which is like being boiled...
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:32, archived)
# No sauna is *steamed* not boiled.
Only the one, left it too long, went grey and mushy, told to get job as web designer.
(anat0010, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:38, archived)
# Good point...
Just how long is tpp long when boiling humans?
(I helped save b3ta! Wifey, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:50, archived)
# Depends if you like grey and mushy
As a rule I think leaving overnight is probably a mistake. 45 mins + 1hr /Kg would probably do if you're looking for nice and tender.
(anat0010, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 12:00, archived)
# and the punchline is?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:17, archived)
# the poop poop song
http://www.poopreport.com/
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:06, archived)
[challenge entry] just got back from the doctors ...
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 10:55, archived)
# ouch!
Maybe that's what Mr Gorman sat on.
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:02, archived)
# ah... that's why the board is good
person A can think of the a punchline, and person B - the question.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:04, archived)
[challenge entry] I am Dave Gorman, and I am a crab.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 10:37, archived)
# Familiar?


(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 10:36, archived)
# we invented EVERYTHING
on the Internet. Including the protocols on which it was built.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 10:38, archived)
# Ah, the famous flying penguin protocol
You really ought to patent it before BT do.

Actually, there's a bit of a Battle of the Planets influence going on here.

And that's my idea for a game - Battle of the Penguins. Sort an R-type thing with BIG EXPLOSIONS and the polar bear as an end of level boss.
(I helped save b3ta! mrbrong, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 10:45, archived)
[challenge entry] Next Years Summer Blockbuster
CRABMAN.

With all the powers of the above beast.

(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 10:24, archived)
# what the -
what the hell kinda photo is that spidey one???
(markyb, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 10:46, archived)
# It's
from the new film, before the ultra hi-tech lycra one gets made.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:00, archived)
# really?
like, Spidey as a boy? Are you having me on?
(markyb, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:03, archived)
# IT's
True, go checkout the news on www.darkhorizons.com or check the pics at www.spidermanhype.com
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Mon 3 Dec 2001, 11:07, archived)

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