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Biological information about gozilla & friends - (This picture is a very funny LINK!)

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(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:49, archived)

No Moster at the Loch today.

(marcus, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:43, archived)

Are you quite sure about that?

(

E.S.Blofeld, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 8:02, archived)

Never -

thats why I am here...

(marcus, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 8:07, archived)

Although

it looks as though he might have messed with the wrong moth

(

E.S.Blofeld, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:38, archived)

I wish

I could eat my breakfast while clinging to the ceiling with sucker-feet.

(

E.S.Blofeld, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:11, archived)

A little Frog Database

http://www.parks.tas.gov.au/wildlife/frogs/frogs.html

Funny Frog Song (Background)

(FoxA / DannyWeinkauf, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:07, archived)

Screen grabbed this from the

pilot episode of The Professionals

(

flibz, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:37, archived)

Further proof that Paul Daniels is a witch...

Note that in photographs, Pauls 'Spirit Guide' appears over his shoulder.

If I wasn't damned busy and poor, I'd be tempted to register www.pauldanielsisawitch.com

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:30, archived)

don't forget

www.pauldanielsisawitch.tk

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:32, archived)

Ah-haaah :)

http://www.ham-sandwich.co.uk/hamsandwich/general/pauldaniels/

Well I've started one, but I'm still too busy to do a proper job on it. I'll tinker with it throughout the day though. Plus the dot.tk thing seems to be down for the moment.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:45, archived)

Look closer....

(

flibz, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:41, archived)

"i didn't know

she had a cat" is always a good get out phrase.

www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_502094.html

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:25, archived)

i wasn't aware that she'd...

...been brutally stabbed 87 times and chopped into pieces officer.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:35, archived)

turn B3TA into porn

www.pornolize.com

takes a normal site and turns it into somthing rude

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:05, archived)

In other news:

The world isn't flat.... It's round ! Well, spherical

(

blah, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:20, archived)

ovoid

the word you're looking for?

(que, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 8:51, archived)

Book

Can anyone recommend any good books. I got nothing to read and no inspiration of what to buy.

Was someone mentioning some book called "The madness of oyster boy"? If the book is as good as the title then we could have a winner...

(aneraseroflove excuse me...i have to go to space now, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 5:51, archived)

Three Louis de Bernieres books

The war of Don Emmanual's Nether parts.
The Troublesome Offspring of Cardinal Guzman.
Senor Vivo and the Coca Lord.

(

PeterSeychelles, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 5:55, archived)

Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas is a winner - better than the film

"Iced" by Ray Shell is good.
What kind of books are you into?
"Freaky Dancing" autobiography by Bez is quite amusing if you're into them

(Nacho, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:15, archived)

Bez

Funnily enough, Freaky Dancin' is the book I just finished, and I really enjoyed it.

As to what I like, I'll read just about anything although my recommendations are all on the surreal side of quirky

Catch 22 - Joseph Heller, The Magus - John Fowles, Gormenghast Trilogy - Merrvyn Peake, A 100 Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marques...

Cheers

(aneraseroflove excuse me...i have to go to space now, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:41, archived)

Surreal?

Babylon - Victor Pelevin,
Hard Boiled Wonderland & the end of the world - H. Mazukami
Breakfast of Champions - Kurt Vonnegut
Peculiar Memories of Thomas Penman - Bruce Robinson

(

mrbrong, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:49, archived)

I've just finished

reading the Beano Annual 1987, I heartily recommend it although Roger The Dodger isn't up to his usual standard

(twelveways, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:21, archived)

Where the Wild Things Are -

Crab Bloke is one of the few people I know who remembers this book

(Nacho, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:49, archived)

I remember that

Well, I remember something about a bedroom turnong into a jungle.

www.puppetartists.com/storybook_htm/The%20Wild%20things.htm

only $275

The Iron Man is another great kids/anyones book.

And I used to own one which told the story of a hamster that goes into a factory. It was illustrated by photographs and was well funny. I'd love to know what that one was called.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:55, archived)

If I had $275 to waste I'd buy them

do you remember a book called "How to Eat Fried Worms?" My workmate thinks I'm trying to wind him up. I'm gonna do a search

(Nacho, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:13, archived)

the description sounds a bit like me

....has happily repulsed children since its original publication in 1973 (ish)...
a ghastly gastronomical treat that will dazzle young listeners.

(Nacho, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:17, archived)

WOW!

I read that in school, fantastic, you are the only person I have ever met to have heard of it, congratulations.

(twelveways, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:19, archived)

Although...

I only read it in case I was doing it wrong in the first place...

(twelveways, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:23, archived)

Was the Hamster

called Hannibal? I had a book called Hannibal at the Circus about a Hamster who visited the circus. It was a Ladybird book.

(james, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 8:07, archived)

it could well have been

did that use photographs?

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 8:37, archived)

I remember that!

I must have read it a hundred times.

(

PeterSeychelles, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:03, archived)

I remember it,

a fantastic book.

(james, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:07, archived)

Try

Breakfast Of Champions by
Kurt Vonnegut jr
for total anti-capitalist mentalism.

(

Stella_R_Twa, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:46, archived)

B o C

I'd recommend anything by Kurt Vonnegut, but that is easily my favourite by him. The film came up a while ago but I didn't dare go and see it in case they'd fucked it up.

(aneraseroflove excuse me...i have to go to space now, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:51, archived)

I've seen it...

not bad considering how fucked up the plot is in the book, but still nowhere near as good. They missed out all the stuff about the author and concentrated on Dwayne Hoover. Can't really blame them though as it is pretty unfilmable.

(

Stella_R_Twa, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 8:58, archived)

Bizarre

We both recommended a book about things that happen at the same time at the same time.

(

mrbrong, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:54, archived)

Nether Parts

I've only read the first one. It was super, so maybe I'll go for another!

(aneraseroflove excuse me...i have to go to space now, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:48, archived)

They're all great.

You might also enjoy. Tibor Fischer, "Under a Frog's Arse" and "The Thought Gang".

(

PeterSeychelles, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 8:42, archived)

I recently read Cat Watching by Desmond Morris

Fantastic. Questions/Answer format. Why do cats roll on their backs? Why do many black cats have a white patch? Every page a revelation. Every page another cute picture of a cat. This is a book designed to be read in small chunks, with the reader going "Woo! Amazing fact! Woo! Cute picture!" It's publishing crack.

(

rob, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 5:56, archived)

We've got that at work

And also illustrated dog watching too.
They're great, although Furtive Bear watching is missing.

(

mrbrong, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:07, archived)

ever read people watching by desmond morrris?

quite interesting but exceptionally sexist actually.

(

pep, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:44, archived)

yes

I like the bits like when a person passes someone in a crowd..

*) Women turn away to protect their breasts
*) Men turn towards to present their penises.

This has left me uncertain of how to behave in a crowd. Will turning away make me a lady? Will turning towards make me a rapist?

(

rob, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:59, archived)

Hmmm

In order not to offend anyone, it is probably best to slowly rotate in all gatherings of five or more people, though be sure to change the direction of rotation every five minutes or so.

(aneraseroflove excuse me...i have to go to space now, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:44, archived)

micheal marshall smith

Bizzare wording form a good writer.

try "only forward", "spares" or his book of short stories "what you make it".

he's a sound guy, and also lives in north london.

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 5:58, archived)

Sure it wasn't The Melancholy Death of Oyster boy?

It's poems and illustrations by Tim Burton. V nice.
I just read a book called Deadkidsongs, toby litt.
It was unbelievably sinister.

(

pep, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:08, archived)

Oh I got that for Christmas

I'll get round to it next then.

(

PeterSeychelles, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:11, archived)

The Toby Litt book?

read it now and tell me what you think - i dunno anyone else that's read it and i thought it was amazing...

(

pep, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:25, archived)

what's the basic

premise - I usually like sinister books.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:26, archived)

it's about a group of four boys,

who are all friends and part of a gang.
Somethig happens to one of them, and they take revenge. Can't say too much more without ruining it, but i thought it was really sinister. Lots of bit's made me flinch, alot, when i was sitting on the tube, which was a bit embarrasing.

(

pep, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:46, archived)

This is good

Or, Death and the Penguin by Somebody Kurkev.

(

mrbrong, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:11, archived)

Irving and Muktuk: Two Bad Bears

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:19, archived)

'The Boy Who Kicked Pigs'

by Tom Baker

is fantastic and very funny.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:11, archived)

Try

Charles Bukowski - Ham on Rye

(james, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:15, archived)

anything

by edward gorey too.

www.goreyography.com/west/master/master.htm

you can only actually buy about 5 of these, more's the pity.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:29, archived)

Surely

this book has to be top of the pile for all b3tans...

Alternative covers featuring cakes and mulleted football players please......

(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:00, archived)

Check this....

http://hubbers.150m.com/polarbear.gif

(Slacker, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 9:37, archived)

We got ourselves a reader

"Holes" by Louis Sachar isn't what you'd think, but made me smile all the way through - remember the way good books made you feel when you were a kid?

"Freak Like Me" - an autobiography of Jim Rose (of Jim Rose Circus fame): fantastic freak show frolics.

Or "Are You Dave Gorman?" - laugh-out-loud, piss-yourself-on-the-train funny.

(

CarlosTheJackal, protector of innocence, taker of liberties, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 7:06, archived)

Robert Rankin

The Brentford Trilogy (The Antipope, East of Ealing, The Brentford Triangle and The Sporuts of Wrath - 4 books in all)

or anything by Iain Banks (Fiction/macabre) , or Iain M.Banks(Sci-fi, epic), except Canal Dreams. I recommend Complicity, The Wasp Factory and The Crow Road for the fiction, and Consider Phlebas, The Player of Games, Use of Weapons and Excession from the Sci-Fi.

(

grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 13:55, archived)

Good Beuk

This is a fantastic graphic novel

(Aids, Thu 24 Jan 2002, 4:58, archived)

Fantastic book/comic

Jimmy Corrigan, the Smartest Kid in the World - Chris Ware

(Aids, Thu 24 Jan 2002, 6:25, archived)

when web designers go mad ...

... they make the official hear'say site look exactly like k10k. this must be exactly what the kids want.

(

rob, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 5:44, archived)

http://www.cadaverinc.com/default2.asp

(owr, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 5:16, archived)

this is simply great

http://www.boobytrap.org/eva/

(

rob, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 4:55, archived)

go here

clicky woo
if you don't want it to force
you to view it full screen (bloody javascript)

(

chthonic, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 5:12, archived)

Quick note to say

that the best contributions so far to the wendy swears page are:
1 knobbly fisting mittens
2 £50 / hour
3 My what a large one

(

chthonic, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 4:28, archived)

what's Jamie

come up with?

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 4:33, archived)

I forgot to check

not so many people playing with Jamie, just this one really:

I suck cock

(

chthonic, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 4:37, archived)

you should get 6

panelists, like blankety blank, and when you type in a word - 4 of the others come up with varients on it, and Kerry from Atomic Kitten comes up with something random.
That wouldn't be much work - only a month or so, I'm sure.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 4:40, archived)

and they should

dance on the hour.

(

AndyK, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 4:47, archived)

almost..

on the hour, it should zoom into each contestants watch, which should feature a character telling you the time and dancing on the face.

(

monkeon schmonkeon, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 4:49, archived)

Speaking of

Blankety Blank... Wheres the xylophone and/or whack-a-mole game? ;)

(

Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 5:54, archived)

it's currently

awaiting some sound effects
and some time... v. busy at the mo

(

chthonic, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:22, archived)

variation on a theme

dirty jamie

www.chthonic.f9.co.uk/jamie/index.html?w=i+eat+my+own+shit+on+toast

(

Thor_sonofodin has done things, terrible things on, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 6:25, archived)

Natural born salesman

Would you buy from this bloke?
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1691934674

(

HP hasn't been here in aaaaaages, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 4:10, archived)

Yes

I very nearly put in a bid!!!
except it sounds as if it's more shit than car....

(

Monkeyboy, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 4:15, archived)

ambassador, you are really spoiling us

(

AndyK, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 3:26, archived)

The onslaught continues...

Continuing from yesterday's penguin bombing of Manhattan, the bears return before the previous destruction can even be cleaned up.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 3:23, archived)

Fantastic

the genius continues...

(

mrbrong, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 3:48, archived)

BTW

That image got into my dreams yesterday.

B3ta was an OCP type multinational that controlled everything, from their entirely
logical Ecuador HQ, with an ED209-like
baby penguin and an army of furtive
bears.

I am afraid for my sanity.

(

mrbrong, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 3:54, archived)

Hurray!

I've warped someone! Not exactly what I set out to do, but there is a sense of pride.

(

izb posting occasional messages since 2001, Wed 23 Jan 2002, 4:04, archived)

Will you never learn.

It will all end badly you know....