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# My dad <i>owns</i> your dad
so there. Nah, nah de nar nar.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:08, archived)
# Dear Everyone,
I couldn't help noticeing that I am considerably richer than yeeeeeeewww!

Yours,

Billy Boy Gatus
Managing Director,
United States of America
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:12, archived)
# you can
all go home for the rest of the year and I'll give you all one million pounds,
loads of love and say hello to your mum for me
(redifusion, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:22, archived)
# You will all...
... bow down to me, you capitalist pigs!
(I helped save b3ta! SqueakyG, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:46, archived)
# Dear Elizabeth...
... I've just wet myself again. Can you call one of the servants to change my incontenence knickers?

(I helped save b3ta! SqueakyG, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:48, archived)
# Big Eye Dog Gets A Medal
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:08, archived)
# ooooh that reminds me
Beyond Grandpa has something very similar
www.beyondgrandpa.com/lounge/cartoons.b.htm
(Idyll23, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:16, archived)
# ouch!
that really is quite dark
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:21, archived)
[challenge entry] My first attempt...
http://www.gavin.clayton.btinternet.co.uk/b3tacover01.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! SqueakyG, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:37, archived)
# Now that amazon have seen fit
to furnish me with a copy of their MD's signature in their
latest email, I can go signing things...


Robin Terrell
Managing Director
Amazon.co.uk
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:34, archived)
# Dear Everyone in the world,
You can all have free stuff from Amazon, with no catch, limitations or hidden conditions. Just tell them I sent you.

Yours Sincerely,
My signature

Robin Terrell
Managing Director
Amazon.co.uk
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:37, archived)
# if we'd got here sooner, maybe we could have helped him
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:44, archived)
# You cruel
man Rob. That is scarily good.
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:49, archived)
# I think it's a real note
it was a google images search on "suicide note." Is this wrong?
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:51, archived)
# No more wrong than
that awful guff on CH4 last night
with Robin Williams in it :(
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:59, archived)
# I didn't mind it...
However, I did watch it with the sound off, which helped...
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:04, archived)
# chthonic, you may
take your anger out on this jpeg.
(que, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 12:37, archived)
# He was missing his brother apparently
clicky
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:57, archived)
# Dear MD of Jungle.com,
My dad is harder than your dad.

Yours Sincerely,

Signature

Robin Terrell
Managing Director
Amazon.co.uk
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:48, archived)
# Barnes and noble is a load of wank
With respect,

(I helped save b3ta! Not Pineapple anymore, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:55, archived)
# i shot the deputy
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:01, archived)
# Oooh! Look!
Its the Magna Carta:

Magna Carta
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:59, archived)
# Dear everyone,
I confess that I, Robin Terrell am the phantom flan flinger, him upstairs in trapdoor, Supermans REAL alter-ego, and the man who invented speed cameras.

Yours,

Sig Nature

Robin Terrell
Managing Director
Amazon.co.uk
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:07, archived)
# more art
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:14, archived)
# Aaaargh
that's an awful pun :)
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:28, archived)
# nope
it is truely fantastic.
woo!
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:56, archived)
# Where to find wascaly wabbits
www.google.com/intl/xx-elmer/

Feewing wucky punk?
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:11, archived)
# Also
www.google.com/intl/xx-hacker/ Haxor and www.google.com/intl/xx-bork/ Swedish Chef available.

Oh and one called Welsh apparently.
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:16, archived)
# Thanks to whoever posted that haiku link
books.guardian.co.uk/games/haiku

and this week's winner is..........

me. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Professor Fnord Regius Professor of B3ta Chronology, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:06, archived)
# Woo and yay!
Hats off to you!
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:15, archived)
# woo, yah and way-hey
.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:20, archived)
# Woo!
Nice one, and very reminiscent of the ear-biting incident... Pure poetry, if you'll excuse the correct expression!
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:26, archived)
# V good
Like your Tyson one...that didn't come from the Haiku Generator
(I helped save b3ta! pabulum, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:30, archived)
# bravo!
i salute your haikuage
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:34, archived)
# The Adventures of Big Eye Dog
Episode 1: Big Eye Dog and the Worms.

(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:01, archived)
# But
do the flies actually intend to lay their eggs there, or are the worms just being nasty and making big eye dog stay awake?
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:12, archived)
# It could be either
or it could be both. it's for the reader to decide.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:14, archived)
# if big eye dogs
going to stay awake anyway, why doesn't it join in a game of touch the duck - and when he wins the duck, he can train it to peck out the maggots from his eyes.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:19, archived)
# the duck would try
to peck out his eye i expect. he's not a very lucky dog.
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:30, archived)
# wrong
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:55, archived)
# I just did an image search for MC Hammer..
and I got this back:



It's been a while since I saw him, but that can't be right can it?
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:44, archived)
# he's looking good.
i'd love to see him dancing.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:56, archived)
# Thought you knew the rules, rob! Or are they the rules I don't understand... I'm lost now...
Rob, does this mean that you're going to create a grooving "M.C. Hammer" for us?
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:11, archived)
# Is that George W's
dog?
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:39, archived)
# I think
it's maybe the mighty Web Dog..

"Web Dog - Fetching the web from the muddy field of mediocrity!"
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:57, archived)
# Aha
so it was the beta version of the lycos dog then?
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:12, archived)
# Anyone seen this pile yet?
Quite amusing..
RTFM :)
(I helped save b3ta! Hugo Rune, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:42, archived)
# Yes
:-)
(BobtheBuilder, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:48, archived)
# yeah but too bad no one here has
figured out that they can do the same thing.
www.microsoft.com&item=q209354@b3ta.com
(Idyll23, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:02, archived)
# You missed the fake their death
page then... one of the best things b3ta did last year
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:21, archived)
# yay
glad you remember it. it was the most explosive thing we've made. I think we lauched it on a friday afternoon, and took it down next monday morning. We'd have about 30,000 in the meantime.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 12:07, archived)
# I was thinking about cartoon characters
and so I made this quick little idea for Big Tongue Duck

It's got a lovely little theme tune too. However, then I realised that big tongues have been made uncool by all that Jamie Oliver stuff, but I couldn't think of any other bits of the duck that could be big which would work so well. What alternative bit of the duck should be big do you think?
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:28, archived)
# its
nest

it could have tiny eggs in a huge nest and lose them all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:29, archived)
# maybe i should forget
big tongue duck and just do the adventures of Big Eye Dog

(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:34, archived)
# ah
my question answered.
(I helped save b3ta! the triple legendary unicorn, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:37, archived)
# to tune of addams family
he's quacky and he's clucky,
he's altogether mucky,
he's the funny tonguey duck.
[clap clap]
the funny tonguey duck.
[clap clap]


He's Oingy and he's boingy,
he sings a little soingy,
he's the funny tonguey duck.
[clap clap]
the funny tonguey duck.
[clap clap]
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:40, archived)
# did anyone by any chance
see Snuff at Reading last year? "We're Oingy-Boingy, thanks for coming..."
(I helped save b3ta! the triple legendary unicorn, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:44, archived)
# may i just ask
what on earth is it sitting on???
(I helped save b3ta! the triple legendary unicorn, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:32, archived)
# Big nosed duck
Big nosed duck
He's a Big nosed duck who'se prone to cluck
In the early morning
when the day is dawning
you won't find him quacking coz he fucks it up.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:35, archived)
# Big Bill

or William to his friends
(I helped save b3ta! pabulum, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:37, archived)
# Big
bum duck?
Big mum duck
Big thumb duck
Big plums duck
Big Fun duck (a multi-headed duck. Each head being a member of Big Fun).
Big dumb duck
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:35, archived)
# what a fantastic bunch of suggestions
hooray!
(I helped save b3ta! crab_bloke), Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:10, archived)
# Are any of them
likely to star alongside big eye dog? :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:15, archived)
# A B3ta pill to swallow
Take 8 times daily....


(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:08, archived)
# sorry, but it had to be said
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:48, archived)
# Jean Claude Van Gogh


I can feel a fine art/famous people tirade coming on....
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:46, archived)
# now
that's what I call Art.
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:50, archived)
# blimey - that's
very well done.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 11:00, archived)
# holiday
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:27, archived)
# I love the
suntans...
(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:49, archived)
# .
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:11, archived)
# Awwwww
bless 'im!
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:23, archived)
# Butchering the classics


Could that bassoon have been any more late?

Incidentally, I have been uploading my pics to an MSN community page which is nearly full now so I thought i'd make it available for anyone to take a look at here
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:03, archived)
# OK,
What have you changed?
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:06, archived)
# The original
figure only had three fingers on the left hand. I just altered it to be anatomically correct, that's all.
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:14, archived)
# I see, very good!
How uninformed of me not to notice that at once.
(I helped save b3ta! PeterSeychelles, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:20, archived)
# That
is just fantableous!! Well done sir :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:16, archived)
# I aim to please...
you aim too please!
(TommyTheMuff is a new dad and luvvin it, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:49, archived)
# Genius
Pure genius.
I haven't laughed as much as that in months.
(I helped save b3ta! KQ, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 9:06, archived)
[challenge entry] My fourth entry...
maybe I should stop :)

B3TA Format!
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 7:44, archived)
# Nah !
The odds are stacked in your favour ! Keep 'em coming !
(I helped save b3ta! blah, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 7:53, archived)
# Yeah
I would agree with your statistical analysis, except that none of my mags have made it to the front page, so I doubt i'll win.

Doesn't matter though, I enjoy making B3ta magazines :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 7:59, archived)
# Woohoo
I gladly take that back...

(i'm happy now :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:17, archived)
# I'd love to see
A CD full of mustard pots!

UP THE BETTY! :o)
(I helped save b3ta! Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 8:02, archived)
# Would a CD
fit up the Betty?
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:08, archived)
# She is experienced...
But only in the ancient art of mustard pot collection
(I helped save b3ta! Andi is member 695 so have some damn respect, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:16, archived)
# Hmmm
"Smashed Hammonds" sounds like the name of an indie band...

Marvelous.
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 10:22, archived)
# riot

Cow - orkers of the world unite and take over
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 7:32, archived)
# Well done
I was going to do something like that, but I decided against it, as I'm lazy. I don't even finish the end of sentenc...
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Mon 4 Feb 2002, 7:33, archived)

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