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[challenge entry] somebody pass me my night vision goggles...
(I helped save b3ta! limpfish, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:41, archived)
# That
is just inspired! Wooooo! :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:46, archived)
# Plagiarist!!!!!
I'll forward to this to the guy at work who came up with it months ago!! He (as you know) did have the night-vision gogs! (bless you)
(I helped save b3ta! routine has perfected burgers, Thu 14 Mar 2002, 18:41, archived)
# Anyone know what happened
to this young man?
(Elisabeth Parma Ham, Parma Violets, Parmesan, Robert Palmer, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:37, archived)
# Tim Vine?
Who cares, he was never in anything good... :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:41, archived)
# You know you love him really...
His hair entertained me. His jokes did not.
(Elisabeth Parma Ham, Parma Violets, Parmesan, Robert Palmer, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:44, archived)
# You know
you're right... his hair is strangely entertaining. But I'm not sure that makes up for his jokes...

I wonder if his hair could become a celebrity if it were removed from him..

"And now... the chat show you all love... Tonight with Tim Vine's Hair!"
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:48, archived)
# He was in...
some sketch show on ITV (called, I think, "The Sketch Show"). The only other known person in it was Roni Ancona. It was shite.
(I helped save b3ta! SqueakyG, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 12:04, archived)
# oi! come back here with pep!


(woo! it made the front page!)
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:25, archived)
# Well
I like it! In fact, I'll give it a "Woo!" :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:27, archived)
# kindly unhand me!
woo! I feel proud.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:29, archived)
# tankyoo!
i wasn't sure whether everybody was beginning to find the running gag a little tedious. i still think furtive is ace.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:30, archived)
# furtive kick's ass
i picked up a copy of last weeks FT earlier and saw furtive on the front of that. Not sure why actually maybe I should read it. Anyway - it gave me a wry smile. :)
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:33, archived)
# Well
I think furtive is ace, too. He's great. I like him almost as much as I like...

Viva la Beaver!

Beaver in a Viva! Look at his little face! Awwwww! He's so happy in his Vauxhall Viva!
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:34, archived)
# that is exceptionallly
cute. Bless!
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:36, archived)
# a new
desktop!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:38, archived)
# erm...

sorry it's a bit big.
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:13, archived)
# woo!
that's ace!
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:14, archived)
# aww shucks..
my little contribution as a thanks for weeks and weeks of giggling from B3ta.
(I helped save b3ta! pickledpizza Older, nicer, fluffier., Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:22, archived)
# hey
I could do with one of those.

No, make it a whole fleet!
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:23, archived)
# yay!
and woo!
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:26, archived)
# Beautiful
Just.. beautiful.
(I helped save b3ta! KQ, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:54, archived)
# nice one pickly
I love it when that happens
(I helped save b3ta! Fat Boab of dailyreckless.com fame, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 10:15, archived)
# Awww
Woke up this morning feeling reaaaally miserable (don't ask :), had a long bath while feeling reeeeeallly miserable, came online, looked at all the stuff posted here while I was asleep, and now I'm happy...

Thanks B3ta :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:10, archived)
# Yay ! cheer up you.
guess what, someones making me breakfast - i just looked round, and it was literally on fire.
things could be worse.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:15, archived)
# Crikey!
And all they had to do was pour some Kellogg's Pep into a bowl and add milk :)

I wish I could burn cereal. That would be a real party trick.

My mum burnt jelly once, you know :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:30, archived)
# blimey. how did she do that?
we had a day of sweet making once, and made turkish delight. I think we must've burnt that. when it was done the only way we could cut it was with a small hacksaw. We tried to pretend it was nice, but we were fooling no one.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:32, archived)
# Well
she devised this method of making jelly involving a saucepan. Apparently it was much quicker and easier, and gave perfect results... except when someone arrives at the door and you leave it on the hob :)

Speaking of culinary disasters, many years ago I was in a cooking lesson at school, and we were making flapjacks. Unfortunately, my friend Luke and I both somehow forgot to bring sugar! Instead of just asking the teacher, we decided to go and look for some in the cupboards. We found a jar of what looked like sugar, and without trying it, we just put it in the recipe.

Needless to say, salty flapjacks taste fowl! But on the other hand, they do sound rude :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:38, archived)
# arf!
ocasionally my mum used to forget the salt when she made bread. Putting salt and then jam on bread is weird.
Rather sadly we asked her why she doesn't make bread now. She said "no one seems to eat it any more". I asked her if she'd realised we all left home about 10 years ago...
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:42, archived)
# Aww she's not going
mad is she?

Other peoples mad relatives are hilarous, but its a little bit more sad when you knew them sane :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:50, archived)
# sheesh! Noo,
she's not mad. To tell you the truth i think she doesn't make bread any more because it's a pain in the arse.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:53, archived)
# I know for a fact
thats why my mum doesn't make bread any more, because if you ask her why she doesn't make bread any more, she says "Christ no! It takes all bloody day!"

She did get a breadmaker thingy but it made crap bread, so it got put in the cupboard :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:55, archived)
# i don't believe
anyone that says thay have one of those and actually use it. they make bread in a bucket!
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 8:09, archived)
# Well
after a couple of weeks my mum got the knack of making fairly nice bread with it, but the fact is its not as nice as proper home made bread, the loaves are tiny, and its still not as convenient as just going down the shop and buying the stuff ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 8:12, archived)
# burnt jelly sounds tastier
than it should. perhaps i should try frying some...
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:33, archived)
# If you're going to fry jelly
save me some, I'd like to know how it tastes. Oh, and olive oil is probably going to be better.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:56, archived)
# If either of you actually fry
Jelly, we want pictures of all stages of preperation, and a detailed description of the final products odour, flavour and texture :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 8:06, archived)
# Lumpbucket
You could pop round as 1st witness, call an ambulance perhaps when I'm peeling molten jelly from my eyes.
I'll bloody do it though.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 8:39, archived)
# .
Just doing our jobs :-)

Or not, in my case.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:17, archived)
# Just what I wanted...
Mmmmmmm, beef (mostly)
A virtual McDonalds worker...
clicky!?!?!
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 5:23, archived)
# i like that.
when i got to the dreams, i cackled manically.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 5:54, archived)
# I switched on my radio this morning
and heard the DJ going on about some guy phoning up and wanting to discuss his AMEX account.....I thought, 'I wonder if it's that cheeky Vulga,' and I was right! You naughty little trot.
Are you coming to the pub tonight?
(Nacho, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 5:59, archived)
# the guy got through?
outstanding work, vulga.

was he confused, or just angry?
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 6:02, archived)
# I think the DJ was more confused
about it all.
He was asking anyone who worked at AMEX to phone the station and explain what was going on. He seemed quite amused by it as well though.
(Nacho, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 6:20, archived)
# Yay and Woo!
I finally did something productive, and it got me (in a sort of round about way) on the radio... Yay! Going boozing this evening with minimal funds I'm afraid but will probably manage a few...
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:13, archived)
# me
and the scabby dog are gonna come down and see you 'nall....
(redifusion, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:25, archived)
# Yay!
Going t' boozer and getting lashed later (practice run last night, quite successful) Hip-Hop Hooray and all that!
Fishbowl is it?
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:32, archived)
# tut. I remember the old days
when the fish bowl was something else I've completely forgotten. Opposite the wee ABC cinema. sigh.
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:35, archived)
# Ay, Fishbowl it is.
I feel like I haven't been out for ages. BOOZE mmmm.
Sounds a bit weird saying I'm meeting Vulga, Scabby Dog and Redifusion down the pub.
"Who's Scabby Dog?"
"Well, actually I've got no idea"
Pep, are you down in Brighton for Easter at all?
(Nacho, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 10:25, archived)
# Wow!
Nice one Vulga! But if your bosses find out about you forwarding callers to brothels and radio stations, aren't you going to be sooooo fired?
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:19, archived)
# Ummmmm
yes
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:54, archived)
# Wow man!
You like to live on the edge :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:57, archived)
# Maaargh!
Just notcied last night that the flyers for the sports and social bar at work (the shit one with cheap beer) has Johny Morris on them, FOUR TIMES.
It sort of zooms in each time to the cat on his lap, making it look decidedly evil, I'll be posting an MS Paint example later so don't hold your breath.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 4:50, archived)
# In the mean time
Oooo!
Here's a picture of the last Johnny Morris and a chimp.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 4:57, archived)
# you see, you've
been talking to yourself for ages now.

imagine the embarrasment you could have saved...
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 5:04, archived)
# Just back from the Planet of the Apes
Didn't think much of kids' TV there...

fandabee-oohbeedoo
(I helped save b3ta! badbadger, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 6:41, archived)
# aahh,
johnny's found love.....
(redifusion, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:18, archived)
# Heheh
Nice one :)

Is it just me or does this picture seem really sinister? :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:21, archived)
# .
Looks like a dirty old man, that's what I want to be when I'm old... and dirty.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:29, archived)
# Yeah
and if you were a dirty old man, you could do a lot worse than get Sophie to perv over :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:31, archived)
# I don't know about that
but I would be dead chuffed if I pulled 20-something-totty when I'm dodging them coffins. Just one with a smaller face would be nice.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 8:12, archived)
# She is odd looking
but still attractive, imho.

I would, anyway :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 8:25, archived)
# So
would I. I mean, you'd have to, wouldn't you?
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 8:31, archived)
# Sod have to
I want to :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 8:40, archived)
# Well...
Go, Lassie, run boy...
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 4:40, archived)
# I am so bored
I'm hungover, I've ran out of cigarettes, I'm skint, I've got a tongue dryer than Ghandi's flip-flop and I'm sitting at work, taking shit off of people over the phone. The last one to do that got transferred to a number that I found in a telephone box "Sweet 18 yr, new" it said. Hope she takes American Express for the sake of the customer.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 4:43, archived)
# TO BE PART OF A WINNING TEAM

transfer moaning clients to local brothels.
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 5:02, archived)
# .
Well, anyone here who has an Amex card, just try getting through on the customer service line. 0800 700777 and ask for extension 55063 I'd love that. Then I can transfer you to the local whore.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 5:08, archived)
# Yay!
Just transferred this guy within 10 seconds of him moaning... to Juice 107.2. Marvellous.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 5:14, archived)
# And what's
the number if one is calling from OS?
(Sea Oxen, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 5:52, archived)
# Ummmm
+44 1273 576111 same extension, back from my skiving break now.
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 5:54, archived)
# that looks
more like a fox to me.

but i am colourblind :(
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 5:14, archived)
# Blimey
This is quiet...
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 4:08, archived)
# sure is.
we could do with a little counter thing at the top saying how many peeps are logged in.

would that be difficult to do?

it would save us from talking to ourselves quite so much...
(I helped save b3ta! rockyrobin, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 4:11, archived)
# Bugger this...
...I'm off shopping.
(I helped save b3ta! grinfish redux I can remember when all this were eels, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 4:14, archived)
# hmm..
as you don't have to bother logging off it wouldn't tell you much.. I'm logged on all the time.
(I helped save b3ta! rangelife, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 4:24, archived)
# yeah
but you could base it around last page view.

More than 10 minutes since last page request
could count as logged out
(I helped save b3ta! flibz, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 4:31, archived)
# Marvellous
That wouldn't be so difficult, would it. Not knowing fuck all about programming and the like, can someone else do it? Please?
(I helped save b3ta! vulga is a foul mouthed cunt, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 4:38, archived)
[challenge entry] The Music of the BBC Television series
(I helped save b3ta! flibz, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 2:52, archived)
# Oh. I think this is real...

from www.k9topcoat.com
(I helped save b3ta! flibz, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 2:56, archived)
# Heh
Either that geezer has just thrown the frisbee with a dog attached to it, or someone just out of shot to the right has just thrown that dog, and the guy is trying to line up his crotch so the dog will land on it.. :)
(I helped save b3ta! Lumpbucket tekcubpmuL, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 8:22, archived)
# my lame cd contest entry


the recording sessions were actually quite spontaneus, my source has revealed
(sketcher, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 2:40, archived)
# aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh
i was just about to go to bed when i noticed the typo in my damn pic... open mile? open mike... dammit

well now that you know what it is supposed to say, i will go off to bed and sleep uneasily, knowing that i let it be crapped up by my bad typing
(sketcher, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 2:51, archived)
[challenge entry] It's about sex, right?
(Fscott, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 2:23, archived)
# hey...
is that the guy from upright citizens brigade?
(sketcher, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 2:50, archived)
# Found this.

Anything you'd like to tell us Pep ?
(I helped save b3ta! flibz, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 2:19, archived)
# And it's everywhere...
(I helped save b3ta! flibz, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 2:20, archived)
# And I'm not making it up....

No photoshoppin required...
(I helped save b3ta! flibz, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 2:22, archived)
# yay! Look at all that stuff -
surely I should be a millionaire? I had to rebuild my empire allover again, but with bunnies
(I helped save b3ta! pep, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 7:40, archived)
[challenge entry] An old sound remixed...
(I helped save b3ta! flibz, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 2:15, archived)
[challenge entry] Sousaphone Firing Squad
(Rimshot, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 1:24, archived)
[challenge entry] Tough enough for the hardcore, yet shrill enough for mom...
(Fritters, Sat 9 Mar 2002, 1:12, archived)
# Found it in the cutout bin. I wonder why...
(Rimshot, Fri 8 Mar 2002, 23:57, archived)
[challenge entry] New here, hope this works
Enjoy, or more specifically, be appalled....
Fritters
(Fritters, Fri 8 Mar 2002, 23:12, archived)
[challenge entry] Doggy Dinner Ditties
(I helped save b3ta! Hyksos, Fri 8 Mar 2002, 22:27, archived)

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