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# Phone not best platform for doing stuff on.

Click for bigger (154 kb)
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Mon 2 Feb, 22:24, Reply)
# Dickers - stickers of dicks - up to 5 meters long
We just built dickers.net.

Dickers - a range of silly, customisable, dick shaped stickers. Print any shape or size up to five metres long - from the tiniest knob to the heftiest schlong!

use code B3TAWILLY to get 50% off.

(CaptainW, Mon 2 Feb, 17:48, Reply)
# You fucking stupid fucking cunt
(I helped save b3ta! 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Mon 2 Feb, 18:46, Reply)
# Fucking shite.
They look nothing like mangoes, dried or otherwise.
(I helped save b3ta! jonbob loves you, Mon 2 Feb, 19:15, Reply)
# Fuck a Dyson
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Mon 2 Feb, 19:20, Reply)
# that's actually quite a nice experience
(Hunnert Grand be kind to me. I'm new here, Tue 3 Feb, 1:45, Reply)
# Die
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Mon 2 Feb, 19:24, Reply)
# Your all dick
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 2 Feb, 20:46, Reply)
# my all dick what...
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Mon 2 Feb, 23:22, Reply)
# Yes.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 3 Feb, 1:36, Reply)
# all your dick are belong to us
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Tue 3 Feb, 1:46, Reply)
# I've used code B3TAWILLY before, and let me tell you it got me the opposite of 50% off.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 2 Feb, 21:37, Reply)
# eurgh
(piss and shit, Tue 3 Feb, 16:41, Reply)
# You bring, shame, upon this house. So, glad, you could, stay foreeeveeer.


Music to Check your Spam Filter By
01 Someone's In The Goofs
02 And Began to Goof
03 Gooferpillar
04 I Need Sum Goofs
(I helped save b3ta! jumpjape goofs goofs goofs, Tue 3 Feb, 17:27, Reply)
#
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 3 Feb, 17:34, Reply)
# BEAST BRIGADE 2: No Charms for Chamchosis
(I helped save b3ta! jumpjape goofs goofs goofs, Tue 3 Feb, 17:36, Reply)
#
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 3 Feb, 17:52, Reply)
# how dare you
(I helped save b3ta! jumpjape goofs goofs goofs, Tue 3 Feb, 18:17, Reply)
# Yes I can feel your anger. It gives you focus, makes you stronger.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Tue 3 Feb, 19:59, Reply)
# Hello you cunt!
(I helped save b3ta! unclepills, Wed 4 Feb, 10:47, Reply)
# "Meh-Laahh-Nia"

Click for bigger (946 kb)
(I helped save b3ta! finger jockey, Mon 2 Feb, 16:55, Reply)
# Saw a good review the other day.
“If they showed it on a plane people would still walk out.”
(I helped save b3ta! jonbob loves you, Mon 2 Feb, 19:16, Reply)
# lol
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Mon 2 Feb, 20:00, Reply)
# Mehlahneeah, if caught early, is treatable
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Tue 3 Feb, 0:53, Reply)
# I’ll take my chances.
Hubba Hubba!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Tue 3 Feb, 1:37, Reply)
# I hear the audience lit up over the movie
(gijoel, Tue 3 Feb, 22:44, Reply)
[challenge entry] Essential Christmas viewing
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Mon 2 Feb, 11:28, Reply)
# Am I the only one who thinks this?
(I helped save b3ta! tinglto 4 sheets to the wind, Sun 1 Feb, 21:39, Reply)
# Is that Mr Beast on the right?
I can see how he got that name, now.
(xaer0mancer, Tue 3 Feb, 21:19, Reply)
#
can't be he's not shilling anything
(lumpytesticle, Wed 4 Feb, 3:42, Reply)
[challenge entry] A Trip to the Loon
(Iawn Cont In the Worlds before Monkey, Primal chaos reigned, Sun 1 Feb, 21:07, Reply)
[challenge entry]

Click for bigger (241 kb)
(I helped save b3ta! TheVillage Idiot Kiss me, Fatty!!!, Sun 1 Feb, 20:09, Reply)
#
(Iawn Cont In the Worlds before Monkey, Primal chaos reigned, Sun 1 Feb, 19:03, Reply)
# Are those Fleshlights?
(rogerzilla, Mon 2 Feb, 7:06, Reply)
#
(lumpytesticle, Sun 1 Feb, 18:40, Reply)
# Feck!!
I'm starting to think we should have an Epstein scandal comp.
(gijoel, Sun 1 Feb, 23:13, Reply)
#
like my adrian chiles pisstakes - its becoming more difficult to out satire whats actually going on
(lumpytesticle, Sun 1 Feb, 23:38, Reply)
# I like the concept.
But fuck AI.
(Tony Hayers DEFUND THE POLICE, Mon 2 Feb, 11:42, Reply)
[challenge entry] That was easy!
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 1 Feb, 16:11, Reply)
[challenge entry] Aaaarrrggghhhh!
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Sun 1 Feb, 15:08, Reply)
# The horror!
Frankenstein makes it compo-able, btw
(I helped save b3ta! monkeon schmonkeon, Sun 1 Feb, 15:44, Reply)
# Ooh ta!
Forgot about that! ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Ninj, Sun 1 Feb, 15:51, Reply)
[challenge entry] bit late


the adrian chiles simulator aka bland-o-bot continues to grow into an enormous project, basically a web editor for the config files with some filth attached. it'll go on github when its near done
(lumpytesticle, Sun 1 Feb, 13:51, Reply)
# ManDELson
Otherwise v.g.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 1 Feb, 16:49, Reply)
#
sorry Peter
(lumpytesticle, Sun 1 Feb, 17:57, Reply)
# Baron, to you.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 1 Feb, 20:41, Reply)
#
mystic lumpy called it.. www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cn8jm2vpve1o
(lumpytesticle, Mon 2 Feb, 1:32, Reply)
#
The most accurate post of the day.
(Karmathing I say., Mon 2 Feb, 10:13, Reply)
#
funny thing is i wrote it before he resigned...again!
(lumpytesticle, Mon 2 Feb, 10:58, Reply)
# This guy just looks like every single one of those weasely, snivelling underlings you see in movies.
Four resignations for dodgy dealing is quite something. 'But he's a changed man!' said nobody in particular. HR need to have a word.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Mon 2 Feb, 10:47, Reply)
# Probably should have bought a wetsuit
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Sun 1 Feb, 12:38, Reply)
[challenge entry]
(lumpytesticle, Sat 31 Jan, 22:17, Reply)
# I don't know
looks pretty innocent fun to me.
(I helped save b3ta! tinglto 4 sheets to the wind, Sat 31 Jan, 19:48, Reply)
# Fister
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Sat 31 Jan, 19:51, Reply)
# Honestly
the woman looks about the same size and dressed identically to Ghislaine, and it looks a lot like a first aid demonstration. Perhaps a slightly naughty one, considering. Hardly bigger news than Musk and, holy shit Bill Gates, holy shit.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 31 Jan, 20:47, Reply)
# To be honest
I was just going for the lolz. I don't even know who this guy is.
(I helped save b3ta! tinglto 4 sheets to the wind, Sat 31 Jan, 21:20, Reply)
# I'm guessing Julian Clary
(I helped save b3ta! tinglto 4 sheets to the wind, Sat 31 Jan, 21:27, Reply)
# Why would they redact her then? We all know what she looks like? A fist aid demonstration you say?
(I helped save b3ta! tinglto 4 sheets to the wind, Sat 31 Jan, 21:36, Reply)
# istr they've redacted Maxwell from photos at least once before.
I can't give you chapter and verse, there's tonnes of this stuff. They've been redacting names and pictures of abusers and the abused, and of innocent bystanders, and of the kids of Epstein associates (most notably the Clintons).

I mean it looks like cpr training, with the girl playing the role of the dummy. Could be something nasty, obviously, given who is involved, but fucking hell Bill Gates was secretly feeding his wife medication for the STD he got from Russian sex workers, allegedly.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 31 Jan, 22:44, Reply)
# The Bill Gates thing is so ludicrously unbelievable that it casts doubt on the rest
It's obvious that Gates has the sex drive of a dead penguin
(rogerzilla, Sun 1 Feb, 7:12, Reply)
# that's what we all thought about John Major
until Edwina Currie told all
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Sun 1 Feb, 10:28, Reply)
# His wife cited his infidelity in their divorce.
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sun 1 Feb, 16:03, Reply)
# actual lol
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 31 Jan, 23:31, Reply)
# Brilliant!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Thu 5 Feb, 15:33, Reply)
# Bambi’s been getting careers advice recently…


Hope all goes well, I think with the right qualifications, he’ll get the right shot at a job.

(SillyMattPiez This piez can’t silly like no other, Sat 31 Jan, 16:48, Reply)
# and he did
(alloydog, Mon 2 Feb, 4:57, Reply)
# Another brainfart successfully (?) brainfarted.
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sat 31 Jan, 15:31, Reply)
# TNAC, now bare witness. Turtleneck, with another on deck.



Conan Sea-Side:
01 The Turtle
02 Limes
03 Coded Rhythm Talk
04 The Caterpillar
05 Nookie
(I helped save b3ta! jumpjape goofs goofs goofs, Sat 31 Jan, 15:42, Reply)
#

Click for bigger (105 kb)
(S-Crimmy Bogstandardgingerballs, Sat 31 Jan, 12:28, Reply)
# no sweat
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 31 Jan, 12:34, Reply)
# Wrestling from Coventry 1983 featuring Farm Boy Danny Collins versus Randy Andy
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Sat 31 Jan, 13:28, Reply)
# WELCOME TO EPSTEINMANIA
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 31 Jan, 18:45, Reply)
# Aretha FRAAAAAAAANKLIN
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Sat 31 Jan, 19:52, Reply)
# will face The ULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLTIMATE WARRIOR
(I helped save b3ta! brb Monkhouse Stampede, Sat 31 Jan, 20:36, Reply)
# He's behind you

(Iawn Cont In the Worlds before Monkey, Primal chaos reigned, Sun 1 Feb, 18:08, Reply)
# Izzat He Man?
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Sat 31 Jan, 14:10, Reply)
# BY THE POWER OF SKULLFUCK!
(I helped save b3ta! jumpjape goofs goofs goofs, Sat 31 Jan, 14:16, Reply)
# DRAW SKELETOR
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 31 Jan, 23:31, Reply)
# No it’s Prince Adam
(S-Crimmy Bogstandardgingerballs, Sat 31 Jan, 14:46, Reply)
# Sorry…Adam Mountbatten
(S-Crimmy Bogstandardgingerballs, Sat 31 Jan, 14:46, Reply)
# Arf!
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Sat 31 Jan, 15:32, Reply)
# I get all my travel advice from Bored Panda.
(I helped save b3ta! Rotating Wobbly Hat That's not a banana. THIS is a banana., Sat 31 Jan, 8:21, Reply)
# Several Snakes Stowed Swiftly?
(xaer0mancer, Sat 31 Jan, 17:02, Reply)

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