Tips for parents
I am not a mother, neither do I have a large family, but I found these insightful.
( , Fri 23 Jun 2017, 23:35, Share, Reply)
I am not a mother, neither do I have a large family, but I found these insightful.
( , Fri 23 Jun 2017, 23:35, Share, Reply)
This is relevant to the poo fest my life is about to become :/
I spent Wednesday evening watching a woman poke a doll in the nose with a knitted tit. Life used to make so much sense.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 0:13, Share, Reply)
I spent Wednesday evening watching a woman poke a doll in the nose with a knitted tit. Life used to make so much sense.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 0:13, Share, Reply)
I am not a mother either
Here's my rules. Teach them to yourself and your children:
1. Choose your battles.
2. If you've never made a mess, you've never made anything
3. Don't buy a high chair until they've outgrown a Bumbo
4. Don't buy a changing table, buy a mat. (Babies can't fall off a floor)
4. Don't look at my browsing history
5. The midwife doesn't mind you using the Gas & Air as long as she doesn't see you.
6. It's only poo.
7. Advice is the cheapest commodity in the Universe
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 10:34, Share, Reply)
Here's my rules. Teach them to yourself and your children:
1. Choose your battles.
2. If you've never made a mess, you've never made anything
3. Don't buy a high chair until they've outgrown a Bumbo
4. Don't buy a changing table, buy a mat. (Babies can't fall off a floor)
4. Don't look at my browsing history
5. The midwife doesn't mind you using the Gas & Air as long as she doesn't see you.
6. It's only poo.
7. Advice is the cheapest commodity in the Universe
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 10:34, Share, Reply)
Gas and Air great stuff
When Mrs FBK was in delivering our kids, on both occasions i was told off by the midwife for hogging the gas and air and that if didnt stop using it i would be kicked out of the delvery room.
Let me add one more tip to that list
Dont just take picture, take lots and lots of picture and then get them printed, there is nothing like the feeling of holding a picture and sharing it with your family or friends to bring out all the memmorys and start people smiling or laughing, if it is on oyur phone or camera, it seems to be a more muted experiance and holds back on the recall of sights and smells that seem to come when holding a printed picture.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 12:25, Share, Reply)
When Mrs FBK was in delivering our kids, on both occasions i was told off by the midwife for hogging the gas and air and that if didnt stop using it i would be kicked out of the delvery room.
Let me add one more tip to that list
Dont just take picture, take lots and lots of picture and then get them printed, there is nothing like the feeling of holding a picture and sharing it with your family or friends to bring out all the memmorys and start people smiling or laughing, if it is on oyur phone or camera, it seems to be a more muted experiance and holds back on the recall of sights and smells that seem to come when holding a printed picture.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 12:25, Share, Reply)
I'm not sure I want to recall all the smells.
Definitely will be taking lots of photos. Been a long hard road getting to this point :)
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:12, Share, Reply)
Definitely will be taking lots of photos. Been a long hard road getting to this point :)
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:12, Share, Reply)
Smells are OK
You've been biologically programmed to find your own child's smells and noises less offensive.
Spookily, if there is one kid crying or shouting in a group of kids you will know if it's yours. It's like a radio frequency.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 15:10, Share, Reply)
You've been biologically programmed to find your own child's smells and noises less offensive.
Spookily, if there is one kid crying or shouting in a group of kids you will know if it's yours. It's like a radio frequency.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 15:10, Share, Reply)
Well if you need a "hand" to get the next one going give me a gaz and i will come in a jiffy
getting started can be hard on the mind and body ;-}
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 15:37, Share, Reply)
getting started can be hard on the mind and body ;-}
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 15:37, Share, Reply)
I'll be sure to have a bang on the gas and air.
We've been given a high chair and bumbo. Am cleaning out the loft today so I've somewhere to put it all :/
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:13, Share, Reply)
We've been given a high chair and bumbo. Am cleaning out the loft today so I've somewhere to put it all :/
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:13, Share, Reply)
Amazing how good it feels to get all that stuff out of the house when they outgrow it.
It's like a huge weight has been lifted.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:30, Share, Reply)
It's like a huge weight has been lifted.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:30, Share, Reply)
Yeah, my sister did seem unusually happy to be filling up my car with it all.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 14:14, Share, Reply)
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 14:14, Share, Reply)
8. You're no longer allowed to pretend you care about the environment.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:19, Share, Reply)
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:19, Share, Reply)
9. Fuck it, just get a Nissan Armada, otherwise there's no way you'll be able to carry a child seat AND two bags of shopping.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:21, Share, Reply)
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:21, Share, Reply)
10. Everyone you know on facebook absolutely, definitely wants to see photos of your child 30 times a day, every day, for the next 12 years.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:22, Share, Reply)
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 13:22, Share, Reply)
11. Don't mess their heads up too much.
They get to choose your residential home...
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 15:07, Share, Reply)
They get to choose your residential home...
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 15:07, Share, Reply)
12. Kids are mini versions you
This can be to your advantage. It will also be your downfall
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 20:01, Share, Reply)
This can be to your advantage. It will also be your downfall
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 20:01, Share, Reply)
13. If you're lucky enough to get a night alone at home after the whole birth thing ...
... have the most elaborate wank you can think of
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 20:12, Share, Reply)
... have the most elaborate wank you can think of
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 20:12, Share, Reply)
You see? They just don't hand out this quality advice at the NCT classes.
( , Sun 25 Jun 2017, 0:13, Share, Reply)
( , Sun 25 Jun 2017, 0:13, Share, Reply)
14. Those warnings on plastic bags that say "This is not a toy"
is a complete lie. My newborn would play with them for hours. I suspect Milton-Bradley or Hasbro has a hand in that propaganda.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 20:23, Share, Reply)
is a complete lie. My newborn would play with them for hours. I suspect Milton-Bradley or Hasbro has a hand in that propaganda.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 20:23, Share, Reply)
n. Accept any apology
even an insincere one. Accept those ones harder.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 21:11, Share, Reply)
even an insincere one. Accept those ones harder.
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 21:11, Share, Reply)
15. Make sure anything within reach that takes batteries has a screw down battery compartment.
Especially lithium batteries.
If it hasn't then duct tape will hold it in place.
You don't want to have to rush to A&E because they might have swallowed a battery.
16. Seriously it's only poo.
( , Sun 25 Jun 2017, 14:35, Share, Reply)
Especially lithium batteries.
If it hasn't then duct tape will hold it in place.
You don't want to have to rush to A&E because they might have swallowed a battery.
16. Seriously it's only poo.
( , Sun 25 Jun 2017, 14:35, Share, Reply)
They're all words
I have no idea what you mean by them though
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 11:19, Share, Reply)
I have no idea what you mean by them though
( , Sat 24 Jun 2017, 11:19, Share, Reply)