Were you happy that you featured on South Park as the new face of Mr Garrison?

(softporn 70's sink fixer, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 5:17, Reply)

David
If you were an actor, what movie would you most like to have starred in?
(El_diablo_blanco, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 4:14, 2 replies)

Wanna take me out for a drink when you get home?
This way we can do a b3ta 'what happened next' column for the newsletter. Assuming you still live in LA.
(nolongernuts, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 3:48, Reply)

Please would you Hasselh off, Hasselhoff?
nfm.
( P-MONKE We're all fucked, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 2:13, Reply)

David
What question would you most like to be asked?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Sat 10 Dec 2011, 0:11, Reply)

When your nipples are fully erect,
How long are they ?
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Sat 10 Dec 2011, 0:08, Reply)

Can you do a little dance please?

( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 23:50, Reply)

Lesbian Dwarfs or Gay Amputees,
Which one would you jerk off to?
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 23:31, Reply)

Have you ever slept with a friend's wife
Whilst he was in the room?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 23:18, Reply)

Dear Hoff;
Does morality exist, or is man simply a complex stack of chemical reactions with delusions of grandeur?
(universalpsykopath loves what you've done with your hair., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 23:17, Reply)

David,
Have you ever been inside a Turkish prison?
(davidcompression, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 22:08, Reply)

Hardwood or shagpile

(miserable_north just eat it, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 22:08, Reply)

Who was your favorite Raping Murderer,
John Wayne Gacey, Dennis Nilsen or is there another you prefer?
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 21:59, 1 reply)

Do you really enjoy that shit you have to sit through on 'Britain's Got Talent'?
There's got to be a better way to make a living surely?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 21:53, Reply)

Dear David Hasselhoff
Say the best 5 things about Hollywood.

And, of course, the worst five things.
(roysin, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 21:46, Reply)

What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
(zombiedeadbloke, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 21:43, 1 reply)

You once said I was cute
Around '83 or '84. London, Ontario. You were doing some kind of meet and greet at a Toys 'R' Us. My father and brothers went in and were among the last to meet you. My mother and I waited outside. On your way out you passed us, and looked at me, a baby girl with curly blonde hair, and said to my mother "That's a cute baby." and then continued on your way. Do you remember this? I'm just curious!
(mariam67, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 20:49, Reply)

Will you get the fuck off the stage please?
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 20:20, Reply)

What about my lozenges?

( Photoshop Bitch 2014 edition, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 20:20, Reply)

"Ghost Stories"
I was sitting three rows behind you when I saw this show in early May. As you came in, I shouted "Hoff!", and you totally ignored me.
Despite the fact my other half elbowed me in the ribs and rightly told me to "Shut the fuck up - he's here with his family and doesn't want your infantile attention", I was genuinely gutted at the slight.

When was the last time you were genuinely gutted?
Alternatively: Ghosts, eh? What's that all about?
( Captain Howdy, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 20:18, Reply)

Have you ever been hassled Hoff?
If so who by?
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 20:17, Reply)

i read a dissapointingly tame story about you and a call girl in the book 'you'll never make love in this town again'
how many hookers do you reckon you fucked during your career?
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 20:01, Reply)

In the event of a full-blown zombie apocalypse,
What weapon would you take up in order to protect yourself and your loved ones from the undead?
(Irregular Joe last touched ham on, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:53, Reply)

Which of these describes you the best...
Lanky piss-streak, Eighties minge-muffler, Rimming crapster or Full-on flange-faced cunty-bollocks?
(FUXTIX Not my words, Carol, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:47, Reply)

Have you heard the touching tribute sung by the Glitzy Bag Hags?
Sung to the traditional Klezmer tune Mazel Tov, the lyrics are:

I want to have you David Hasselhoff
I want to have you on my table cloth
I make a damn good spanking stroganoff
but I forgot to turn the oven off

I want to woo you David Hasselhoff
I want to play you my Rachmaninov
(cd)
I want to talk until the morning light
and at the end, I will get your kit off

I’ve got posters of you in my garage
when I think of you I think of marriage
whisk me away in a golden carriage
oh my David Hasselhoff
(Littlesirjohn sprung up his head and so amazed them all., Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:38, 1 reply)

David
Who would win in a fight between you and Nicholas Lyndhurst?
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 19:11, 3 replies)

Do you prefer seeing re-runs of Only Fools and Horses or Open All Hours?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:59, Reply)

Shit shit. Wrong David. Soz.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:58, Reply)

Did you and Elaine Page ever ... you know ... do the regrettable?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:56, Reply)

Why oh why oh why oh why did you touch a girl from Glynneath?
What brand of acid are you using to remove the stain from your soul?
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 9 Dec 2011, 18:56, Reply)