Vaguely connected
a discussion we used to have at university: would you have unprotected sex with a cow live in front of a TV audience for a billion pounds? I always said yes, but my economist friend declined. Would anyone else have carnal knowledge with a cow/bull for a billion?
(frankspencer, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 16:37, 24 replies)

Hell yeah!
I'd also have sex with a duck's bill for some bullion.
( squirrels emit silent screams has updog, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 16:40, closed)

I did it for free
As anyone who met Ex-mrs PJM will testify.

The memories... *shudder*

Like something out of "All Creatures Great and Small"

"More soap Seigfreid"

"Mooooooo!!"
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 12 Dec 2007, 16:45, closed)

It has to be said . . .
There's very little I wouldn't do for a billion pounds.
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 16:48, closed)

another psychology question
i read somewhere that the figure which is supposed to bribe anyone to do anything is about 4 times their annual salary.

thoughts?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 16:53, closed)

I would
And for as little as ten grand
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 16:54, closed)

A billion pounds?
All I got was a place on the sex offenders register
(fox_handybread, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 16:57, closed)

Rachelsw -
I wouldn't do anything for 200K (murder etc.) but I'd probably sex a cow for a few grand quid.

Now the rub - how much to EAT a human?
(jmaxi returned again on, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 17:09, closed)

eating a human?
let me get away scott free and I'd do it for no payment

as long as it was someone tasty
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 17:10, closed)

Really?
I'm not big on selling myself.
( chenobble rocking his explorer beard on, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 17:12, closed)

four times my salary
might get me a pair of jeans.

And I'd eat a human. I often bite my wife's buttocks.
(frankspencer, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 17:14, closed)

Personally
I can't be bought and money holds no great attraction to me.



/moral high ground




Ask me nicely and I'll do most things for free
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 17:22, closed)

Four times my salary
equals not fecking much! For a billion quid, there's not much I'd refuse to do, in all honesty. I'd have a hard job shagging a cow though, lacking the right equipment shall we say.....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 17:23, closed)

There are people who already do this.
They're animal inseminators- those guys who hide in the mechanical cow to wank off the bull and collect the semen, then shoot it in a cow later.

I once told my dad that this was one of the jobs I would categorically refuse to take, no matter what they pay. When he asked why, I replied: "What if the bull missed?"

This was in the days before bukkake. If we had that conversation now I'd supplement it with pictures. Thanks, Internet.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 18:19, closed)

a bill huh
I was just thinking, any woman taking part really would get the bum deal, no pun in tended. A guy + cow, she probably wouldn't notice. However girl plus bull.... how much is a new vagina these days?

i bring your attention to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenneth_Pinyan (there is a video, mr_hands... not of his demise) they even made a film about the guy and his life style choices. imdb.com/title/tt0874423/

So yeah as a guy i have nothing to lose, except what little shame and dignity i have left.

Could we eat the cow after?
(StyX is staring at you, yes YOU!!!, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 20:09, closed)

an excellent point
made by StyX, but how did you find out about this? hmm?
(Roopy all is not what it seams, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 20:23, closed)

4x
I'm thinking the magic number should be more like "a lump sum which, if deposited in the bank, would generate an amount of annual interest equal to one's current annual salary". After having paid taxes on the receipt of the lump sum, of course.
But, for that amount...I still wouldn't.
(chase, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 20:48, closed)

Well Indeedy
For a billion pounds, I'd fuck the bull, let it fuck me back, give it a big toungy kiss, take it out to dinner, eat one of it's turds and marry it's mum, as a bastard warm up!

For even half a billion I'd happily handcuff myself to hayrack wearing something slinky with a picture of Jim Bowen (all cattle love him) tattooed on one arse cheek, and Blue Cow from Storymakers tattooed on t'other.

Of course, just for the money you understand.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 20:50, closed)

Tough one
I'm female, so I guess I'd just have to finger the cow? In that case, probably. As long as I wouldn't be arrested.

Thing is, for the rest of your life you'd be known as 'that billionaire who shagged a cow'...
(clumsyeloquence is a girl, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 21:46, closed)

Ya know, you got me thinking...
You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah... be the first motherfucker to see a new galaxy, or find a new alien lifeform... and fuck it. People would be like, "There he goes. Homeboy fucked a Martian once."
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 12 Dec 2007, 22:01, closed)

The billionaire who fucked a cow?
I could live with that title. I'd be too rich to care. And it's not like the people that would hang around you would care what you did, those shallow bastards are in it for the money. I reckon a few million would buy your families forgivness too...

People are so cheap...
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 22:58, closed)

Heh, in response to The Resident Loon
I agree, why not go into space. Fuck the naysayers, abso-fucking-lutely :)
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Wed 12 Dec 2007, 23:05, closed)

Surely this is all theoretical?
No matter how much money is on offer, when all's said and done, who is actually going to be able to look at the rear end of a cow and get/maintain a stiffy?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Thu 13 Dec 2007, 9:49, closed)

Frankspencer
I refer you to my original response to this, further up the page.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 13 Dec 2007, 9:58, closed)