Doing my bit to eradicate disease
As mentioned in a previous QOTW, I managed to fill a marmot burrow with liquid shit while traversing Western Mongolia.

In my defence, marmots spread bubonic plague and in fact, unbeknown to me and my travelling companions, there was actually a plague warning in effect at the time. I like to think of my diarrhoeaic mishap as a pre-emptive strike. It's kill or be killed when faced with these rodents of doom. It's believed they are the biggest killer of humans after the mosquito due to the diseases they have spread.

CHCB's contribution to public service: shit, but very effective.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:37, 47 replies)

^^
Yes! I heard that on QI.

Stop the plague! Dump on a marmot today!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:42, closed)

I alomst believed this story
until I thought, 'don't be daft Robert, ladies don't poo.'

*clickety-click* for learning me something.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:46, closed)

^^
Is your name really Robert?
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:47, closed)

^
did you want it to be 'Bertrand'?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:48, closed)

It's Robert now
It used to be Deborah.

EDIT - and stop lying CHCB, we know that girls just express the slight fragrance of lavender occasionally when they want to freshen the room.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:49, closed)

...
I no longer want to go on the Mongolia trip. I don't like you in that way...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:49, closed)

Hmmm...
I wanted it to be Burtzilla the Magnificent.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:50, closed)

@Enzyme
I'm not going now anyway. :(

Which reminds me, I need to change the calendar.

Don't worry, Enzyme - I'm not into that shit either.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:51, closed)

Al - you're right
I only ever express the faint whiff of lavender.
PJM will support me on this one.



@ CHCB - I made a Goat Lovers' Badge. It's in my profile and in Al's thread about his wasp sting. Feel free to stick it in your profile if you feel so inclined.

I am now thinking about a lolminge....
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:52, closed)

But.... but....
I was just clearing my schedule so I could come and wave you off! Damn.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:52, closed)

@al
Woman - Nature's Glade Plug-in
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:52, closed)

@Mongol fans
Nope, I fell out with my team mate and became hugely stressed, and also my car failed the MOT. Wrestling with Turkmenistan visa applications and Iran carnet paperwork would not do my blood pressure any good. Maybe I'll get back again next year. I think I'll just go camping this year instead.

@chickenlady - excellent badgeyness!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:54, closed)

What if we arranged a summer QOTW meet
it would be a stress free event and wouldn't require any visa applications (unless your coming from south of the river of course)?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:56, closed)

A QOTW summer meet
would be the biz. I was hoping to have one in June or so, but as usual am completely laidback unprepared.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:57, closed)

Yes!
Summer QOTW meat!
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:57, closed)

Yes!
A bash I could actually come to (assuming I'm not too nervous about meeting people to chicken out). Whereabouts in in the country were you thinking of having it?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 16:59, closed)

come West!
The West is the best.

Or: somewhere with a beach.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:00, closed)

London
On Tower Bridge.
The 9th of August.
All wear a hat, for identification purposes.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:00, closed)

Mmm...
Meat.

@Kaol, in reply to your question, yep, I'm a real Robert, but people I like call me Bert (ie only people on b3ta).
Sorry it took so long to reply, damned work.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:02, closed)

Errrr
london? It's fairly easy to get too (especially for me) but would be amenable to most other places.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:03, closed)

Ooooooo
how about Brighton?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:03, closed)

@Burt
Can we call you Bob instead then?

Boo to you southerners living in Londonshire Englandshire.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:04, closed)

^^True Mr al
But the b3tards come from far and wide, allow them to fight it out among themselves, then we will know where to go.

@PoD No, only my Niece and Nephew can call me Bob. Hence, Bob's their uncle!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:04, closed)

@Burt
Think I may have hit a nerve there.

That's the best phrase ever. If only I had an uncle Bob :(
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:06, closed)

I do actually have an uncle bob
that's about it really
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:07, closed)

I don't live in London
But I don't have a car.
I do have access to trains.
I don't want to have to go too far, or I have the terrible prospect of sleeping on a park bench.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:08, closed)

@Kaol
Park benches, they make for some good sleeping they do....

Or at least, I presume so.

I just designed a bench. Sigh.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:10, closed)

@PoD
Nah, sorry, I was being unintentionally harsh.
Happy Birthday by the way! Having a good one?

@Kaol, I drive, you could always stay at my place...?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:12, closed)

@Burt
Hmm...

*Updates sig*

Yes, I had a great day. Did pretty much no work, and ate lots of Italian food. Woot!

And someone got me a T-qualiser!!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:16, closed)

@ Robert
Yeah, we'll have to see.
I'm well up for a meat-up though.
As long as there's a pub/off-licence/duck pond.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:16, closed)

Coolio Mr PoD
sounds similar to my own 21st, but with less cold, bitter sex in the toilets of an Italian restaurant. :)

@Kaol I was always a bit against the idea of meeting people of t'internets, but having gotten to know some of the poople on here I reckon it'd be a right larf.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:20, closed)

^^ Yeah, I agree
If you seem to be a bunch of wierdos, then maybe I'll run as fast as my wooden leg will carry me.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:21, closed)

there are lots of trains
to where I live (thank you Brunel, for your GWR) and a couple of youth hostels too. And floorspace for the non-psychos. maybe.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:21, closed)

@Burt
Hmm, somehow that sentence doesn't seem as strange as it should. I Presume it is as it came from you.

Sounds like a bit of a different Italian experience.

Cold and bitter.

Hmm.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:22, closed)

@chcb - If you want me
To come to your house, just gaz me, you don't have to set up a fake QOTW meat-up.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:23, closed)

@PoD
It was a case of 'lovely italian meal with ex, who became bitterly jealous that I paid her no attention all night, and, shock horror, talked to a waitress,' therefore there was some rumpy-pumpy in the very posh ladies' toilets.

@CHCB list the psychos please, I want to make sure I'm one of them.

@Kaol Smooth... real smooth.
What about your ladyfriend? Hmm? You think she'd like you coming on to other ladies? Hmm? Apologise, now.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:25, closed)

@Burt
Actually no, that doesn't make incredible amount of sense.

Ignoring her = rumpy-pumpy?

Strange.

I would also like to see this list, although I could make some pretty accurate guesses probably.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:27, closed)

@Mr. Robert Simianfornication
It's not "official" yet, so... *shrugs*
What can I say? I put the "K" in KY, that's how smooth I am.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:28, closed)

@Bert
He's so smooth, he almost made me come in my pants.

I'm off now folks, have fun.

@CHCB are you in Exeter? if so have you ever been to the Double Locks?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:29, closed)

all right
not 'psychos' but 'non-believers'
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:29, closed)

@PoD
you clearly have much to learn about mental women. Don't worry, I'm sure it will all come clear in time :)
(Bazongaloid, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:30, closed)

nope
not Exeter, me babber.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:30, closed)

@PoD
You have much to learn about the way of the snatch. Ladies = Mental (in a good way :D)

@Kaol I like the name Robert Simianfornication, I may change it, and I might have to steal your KY thing too, that is pretty smooth!

EDIT I see now, Lord Friggin' Whoopin' Paint Strippin' Messiah.

I'd happily meet up with you lot, I wouldn't be able to guarantee when or where, but I'd love to give it a try.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:31, closed)

Cheerio bye-bye ta-ta everyfolkel!
*waves*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 17:35, closed)

The fucking *plague*?
I thought that finished hundreds of years ago.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 29 Apr 2008, 0:02, closed)

nope
Plague is still around. Bubonic. Not nice.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 8:56, closed)

Plague
And not in the Romeo and Juliet sense (cf, "a plague upon both your houses") is very much alive, and well, and living all over the place - for detail see en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plague_%28disease%29#Other_Contemporary_cases
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 9:01, closed)