smackhead bait
i used to live on the first floor of a high-rise block, which meant that i had a great view of the street from my living room window.
one day, i was sitting with my friend, when she commented that yet another smackhead had moved into the block. they were the bane of our lives. you never felt safe, as flats would often be burgled, after which the smackheads would start knocking, trying to sell us obviously stolen stuff. they stopped knocking to see if i'd "lend" them a quid after i told one to get the fuck away from my door before i slapped him. i wouldn't have, but he didn't know that.
we decided to have a bit of fun with our not-so-nice neighbours. armed with a tube of superglue and a pound coin, we sneaked out to the front of the building, just below my window. we quickly glued the coin to the pavement, then scuttled back upstairs, made a cuppa and waited.
we didn't need to wait long. within 10 minutes, 3 smackheads had each tried - and failed - to prise the pound coin up. seriously, they were using sticks to try to get it off the floor!
over the next 2 days, we watched at least 20 of the fuckers attempting to collect our little reward, much to our amusement. finally, about suppertime on the second day, one of them finally managed to lever it off the floor with a tin lid.
we almost cheered! it was totally worth losing the pound, just for the pure entertainment factor.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 19:42, 18 replies)

I cant remember where I saw it,
but one victim of "the superglued pound coin gag" liftedthe whole paving slab and took it into a shop. i did a similar thing, leaving a pound coin on a hotplate at school. That was satisying to watch!
(sunray18, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 19:54, closed)

that
is some dedicated scavenging!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 20:03, closed)

Tonight, a smackhead asked me for ten pence "to make a phonecall"
Ten pence doesn't even connect you nowadays?
The best one was an honest fella. Came up to me outside the offie on a boiling hot day, shirtless. He said "Listen girl, none o' that shit about wantin a cup o' tea or nothin'. I'm rattlin' an' I need cider. You got 50p??"
I gave him a quid.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 20:32, closed)

yep, the lies and bullshit annoy me
if they were honest, i might be nicer to them.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 20:52, closed)

I gave a pan au chocolat to a guy by the Chinese arch earlier. He looked wasted and the starchy carbs might have helped line his stomach!
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 19 Jan 2010, 21:24, closed)

Rattlin' Cider was by EuroWines!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 21:53, closed)

I get quite a few beggars in Camden who say stuff like:
"I promise I won't spend it on drink or drugs."

Well fuck you then, because I'm going to. The ones that really piss me off though, are the ones with dogs. I'm not paying for you to keep a pet, I can't afford to keep one myself. Fuck right off. If you're really that hungry, eat the dog, then we'll talk.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 10:37, closed)

A £2 'bait'
would have them committing murder.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 20:48, closed)

this gives me ideas...

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 20:52, closed)

Ha!
Reminds me of the times I used to glue change outside the shop I worked in. I'd be bored in the day and stare out the windows (it was a fast food place) and people had got wise to me calling the phone boxes opposite. Best was when an old guy cottoned on, went and got a screwdriver and a hammer and chiselled it up off the floor sneering at me as he waved the coin at the window. It might have been a few years ago but was still only fifty pence for fucks sake. :)
( Jimbuktu See? Right here, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 21:08, closed)

you just gotta love
the ones who go to all that trouble for such a paltry amount :)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 22:00, closed)

Indeed.
It makes my going into work each day seem so noble.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 20 Jan 2010, 9:05, closed)

I remember seeing one on TV
where they rolled a car onto a £20 note. The only way anyone was getting that note was if someone moved the car or jacked it up. People tried all sorts of pushing and shoving.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 22:20, closed)

i think i saw that myself

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 23:56, closed)

Next stage why not try inserting a £2 coin into a dog turd??
( Vambo, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 22:32, closed)

OR
try the note attached to fishing line trick....
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 23:38, closed)

are you kidding?
i'm from the north, we use dog turds as fuel up here!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 23:56, closed)

It's always funny to do this
outside a bookies.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 20 Jan 2010, 6:03, closed)