Does anyone else do 'Train Library'
or whatever it's being called now? Basically if you finish a book on the train/bus you leave it there for another passenger to read. There's a group which leave stickers inside books for that reason, but I prefer the idea of littering in a literate manner.

Weirdly, the first book I picked up was 'A Thousand Splendid Suns', which you should NEVER read when you're around other human beings. The ending is completely traumatising. So it was also the first book I left. :P

(It's a good book, though.)
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 23:26, 6 replies)

Science fiction
I live and breath sci-fi, but a lot of the material that's been written over the years leaves me cold, and I have no idea why. Case in point: Neal Stephenson. I love Snow Crash; it's easily one of my favourite books of all times. The grimy, post-political landscape, the mythology, the characters, all of it. Every time I've ever picked up a gun, real or not, since I first read it, I've named it Reason.

On the other hand, his doorstopper of a book Anathem was so dull I gave up 300 pages in. Just couldn't bring myself to care about any of it.

Oh, and Kurt Vonnegut's style winds me up something fierce. No substance to it.
(a gun that fires other, smaller guns full of jizz, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 22:53, 12 replies)

James Herriot
I first read his books when I was a kid. I still read them now. I don't even like reading animal books, or biographies, or 'true life stories'. But I love those books. They're probably the only books I can think of that affect me exactly the same way now (I'm 22) as they did when I was 7.

The Beeb's just done a miniseries based on Herriot as a kid (well, based on the writer's penname character, I know, but still...) I'm kinda hoping for renewed interest in the books, and a new DVD boxset of 'All Creatures'. :P

As to the worst: Da Vinci Code. Utter tripe. I read it. Due to the complexity of its narrative it took me nearly an hour, but that included the time to laugh at it, mock my friend for having got the version with the 'fact' pictures printed in it alongside bits of pub trivia, and burn the fucking thing.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 22:50, 10 replies)

Working at Waterstone's
often provided a laugh.

"Do you sell paint?" (yes, tartan)

"Do you sell tyres?" (no, but we have alloys if you're looking)

"Hi, I'm here to pick up my book."
"No problem sir, reservations are held at the desk upstairs."
"How do I get upstairs?"
"...up the stairs."
(note: there was a giant staircase behind him in the centre of the shop)

On Harry Potter 5 launch day, we're all wearing Potter fancy dress or t-shirts proclaiming our Potter credentials with a giant W on the back. Guy marches through the shop, past all the balloons and two giant displays full of the new book, down to the counter at the end, where I am standing. "Do you work here?"
"..yes, how can I help?"
"Do you have the new Harry Potter book?"
I stifle the urge to maim, and direct him back to the front of the shop.

But you do get lovely moments. Old lady comes up to the counter. "Hello, I'm looking for a book."
"Well, you're in the right place. Which book exactly?"
"Erm... I'm afraid I can't remember its name... it's something about a dog."
I think for a second.
"Could it be... The Curious Incident Of The Dog In The Night-Time?"
"Yes, that's it! Thank you so much! Oh, you're very clever, so helpful too. Thank you!"
I beam with a warm, smug smile, and go to eat a croissant on my break.

Easily my favourite job ever. I discovered so much while working there; Christopher Brookmyre, Bill Bryson, Carl Hiaasen, Dave Barry, George MacDonald Fraser, Chuck Palahniuk, Tom Clancy, Terry Pratchett, Robert Rankin, Neil Gaiman and Anthony Beevor among others. Lost my (part-time) job when Borders opened a store in the same town and our takings went down by 30%.

But I will always treasure it for the immense fun we had as a staff, the buzz I got during the Christmas rush, the education I received in literature, the 33% discount, and the time someone complained that we couldn't find the book of which he didn't know the title, the author, the subject or the genre. I couldn't keep a straight face and he walked out screaming something about the idiots you get working in shops these days...
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 22:39, 7 replies)

The best true war story ever
Vulcan 607 by Rowland White

Tells the very British tale of how Vulcan bombers on their way to a scrap merchant were put back together using string and sticky backed plastic so that they could be flown half way around the world using an untested and inadvisable system of refuelling via relay (described by one of the crew as 'like trying to insert wet spaghetti up a cat's arse' ) to run a one chance only bombing run to destroy the runway in Stanley so that Argentina couldn't land jets on the Falklands. Absolutely thrilling from cover to cover.
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 5 Jan 2012, 22:36, 7 replies)

Avoid: The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen
The worst sort of self-absorbed, upper-middle-class navel-gazing drek. Books awards should be treated like cold sores: don't pick up anything that has one.
( madrabbit is fully prepared, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 22:29, 2 replies)

I've got this nifty little item which I can use to access thousands of books either free, or for a minimal charge.
























I call it 'my library card'.


Oh man, totally went there.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 22:25, 6 replies)

Bohumil Hrabal
a Czech author who wrote quite wry, often funny novels under Communism and (which will hopefully encourage you to give him a go) tended to write very short books.

Closely Observed Trains is my favourite. It's set in a small village in German occupied territory in the final days of the Second World War, and follows the life of the young, sensitive local lad working in the train station. Not to give too much away, but in about 100 pages you get a great story, lots of humour, and a fair bit of tragedy.

There's also a lovely film of it made by Jiri Menzel in 1969.

If you like that, check out Too Loud a Solitude, which is equally short and follows the life of a recycling operative in Communist Czechoslovakia who becomes obsessed with forbidden books.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 22:15, 2 replies)

Off the top of my head...
Best fiction:
- Keep the Aspidistra Flying - George Orwell
- The Woman In Black - Susan Hill

Best non-fiction:
- Will Storr vs the Supernatural (read this if you have even the slightest interst in things supernatural)

Worst:
- Steven Gerrard's autobiography. He wrote it all himself, and you can tell.
( Sculpture of Man Putting a banging donk on it since, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 22:12, 2 replies)

The Dune novels...the ones by Frank Herbert.
Set over 5000 years and are on the verge of being bonkers, but instead are utter genius.

Plus the game rocked...
( Sipowicz Official member of Team Seam, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 22:09, 7 replies)

Most horrific book I have ever read:
The seven days of peter crumb. I remember everything so vividly.
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Thu 5 Jan 2012, 22:05, Reply)

For those who enjoy science, animals and a good story..
A Primate's Memoir: A Neuroscientist's Unconventional Life Among the Baboons. Author, Robert Sapolsky.

I absolutely loved this, and have always recommend it. So far, 100% success, everyone else liked it too.
His other stuff is cool, well written, amusing and informative but this tale of baboon shit, blood chemistry and genuine affection for the baboons he studied makes it the best of a good author in my convoluted opinion.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 21:57, Reply)

While I'm at it,
I'd thoroughly recommend Christopher Brookmyre if you're into clever plots and dark, sweary Scottish humour. Similarly Irvine Welsh if you like it even more Scottish, darker and swearier.
"Engleby" by Sebastian Faulks is one of the best I've read in ages, and pretty well anything by William Boyd is brilliant.
I'd avoid most of Bill Bryson's books if you're on public transport though. The uncontrollable laughter becomes embarassing.
Many years ago I discovered that Roald Dahl had also written many adult stories too, among them "My Uncle Oswald" and "Switch Bitch" which are proper old-school filth.
As far as I'm concerned, reading is the best sort of personal virtual reality. It's up to you as the reader, alone, to decide what the characters and scenes look like, which I think is why the filmed versions are always so disappointing. I too panic if I haven't got an unread book somewhere nearby...
( BobbyParadise, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 21:54, 3 replies)

A small list of the books I am really passionate about:
Hangover Square and the Twenty Thousand Streets Under the Sky trilogy by Patrick Hamilton are in my top ten books of all time. They are all grimy London based novels, set between the the two world wars. Hangover Square is about a man whose unrequited love for a truly horrible woman sends him mad. TTSUS centre on three characters who work in or vist the MIdnight Bell pub and how they make disastrous decisions which change their lives completely. Hamilton has way of really getting you into the head of the characters. Jenny's descent from respectable girl into nascent prostitute in space of one night is an astounding read and wholly believable.

Another Hamilton fan recommended Norman Collins' London Belongs To Me and that proved to be just as good as he promised when he raved about it. That is also now a firm favourite. It's a sprawling novel about a group of people who all live in the same house and how their lives intertwine. I can't do it justice here. It is just a joy to read.

Last year I stumbled upon Little Boy Lost by Marghanita Laski which is about a man searching in France for his young son after WW2. The ending was so finally balanced that you can't tell if it will tip into disaster or happiness. I had to stay up late to finish it because I couldn't bear the tension any longer. I envy anyone starting that book for the first time as I would love to be able to read it again like that.
(Innogen, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 21:49, 3 replies)

Can anyone recommend some good fantasy novels please ?
I would be really grateful :)
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Thu 5 Jan 2012, 21:34, 24 replies)

Best / worst books
Best: "Bonfire of the Vanities" Tom Wolfe, "On writing" Stephen King.
Worst: "The DaVinci code" Dan Brown.

The former are perfect examples on how to write fiction and non-fiction; the latter a boiling pile of shit that deserves to be burnt.
(DustyD, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 21:29, Reply)

Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell
is simply one of the most amazing books I've ever read. I was half way through it whilst relaxing in the bath a few years back when I accidentally dropped it in the water. A measure of how much I must have been enjoying it is that I got out of the bath, dried off, got dressed, drove to the nearest bookshop, bought another copy, then refreshed the bath water and got back in to continue. Sadly, this is true.
His others are fantastic too: number9dream, Black Swan Green, Ghostwritten, The Thousand Autumns of Jacob de Zoet. Here to help.
I've also recently read all of the "Wallander" novels by Henning Mankell. If gloomy Swedish police procedurals float your boat you can't go wrong.
( BobbyParadise, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 21:27, 7 replies)

The Bible
It's a collection of fairy tales and embellishments but basically comes down to one woman's lie which got out of hand.
(ThatNiceMan thought he was being funny, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 21:21, 1 reply)

Neither my favourite nor my worst.
I thought I'd put in a book I put down and refused to continue reading - I'm a voracious reader so unless out of bordom this is a VERY BAD THING! & then I thought I'd mention one in a similar vein that got it rite. Completely.

Happy Like Murderers - Gordon Burn - trite, scatter-brained, literally repetitive crap. Most of the gore thrown in not for shock or to give some sense of horror not even for some sense of lurid perving but I think purely 'cause it gave the author a semi. Won't throw it or give it away - I'm a stingy bastard and wouldn't subject anyone else to that shit, so there it sits, unfinished on the shelf till the end of time.

Who Killed Leigh Leigh? - Kerry Carrington - well researched, carefully and thoughtfully (as far as the victim and family are concerned) written book looking not only at the crime, victim and alleged perpetrators but also at the judicial process itself. No salaciousness needed as the author approached the subject with a sense of dignity and some common sense.

EDIT: Anyone who's read either/both of these care to weigh in?

Too many faves to mention but I'll always reread any of the Dune books. Except for that shit by Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson - I don't imagine Frank would've been particularly happy with any of that. But then we'll never know, will we?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 5 Jan 2012, 21:08, 2 replies)

Terry Nation & George Layton
Inventor of the Daleks once wrote a children's book called Rebecca's World, in the 70's. It's a fabulous children's book which I bought a first edition hardback, and have used every year of my 36 years teaching in assemblies, serialising it and using passages for PSHE. It's amusing, well written and a classic.

I found out the other week that it's out of print and fetches loads second hand in good condition. Double result, but I wouldn't sell mine for all the tea in China.

George Layton, the actor, wrote a series of short stories about a nameless boy growing up, fatherless, in a nameless northern town, called The Fib. The stories are poignant, brilliantly written and laugh out loud funny!

Ex Libris Nickmeister
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Thu 5 Jan 2012, 20:47, Reply)

I once used a much loved copy of Arabian Sands
by Wilfred Thesiger, as bog paper on hols when the cheap backpacker's lodgings only put up a small economy roll every day in a place that was packed to the rafters with what seemed to be dysentery ridden students.

I hate destroying books and I replaced it as soon as I got home and have replaced it twice more as I've lent it out, never to be seen again.

I think what I'm saying here is that it's a very good read if you like your travel books to be gritty and real while also being soft and strong.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 20:24, Reply)

The Wheel of Time series
Bloody good read in my opinion. The final book is due this year as well.

I'll probably do a sex wee when it comes out.
(Rubber Fish is waiting, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 20:20, 7 replies)

We read Of Mice and Men at school
A great book, somewhat tempered by the fact that come chapter 3 or thereabouts, someone had scrawled 'I don't want to spoil all the fun but Lennie gets shot on page 113'.
( The Silent Channel is getting his recommended 5-a-day, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 20:10, 5 replies)

You can't do 'Sex' with a Kindle...

I apologise for adding yet another ‘list’ post to what will no doubt become a week of such, but I just don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t share with you the books that have changed my life.

‘SEX’ by Madonna. Does anybody remember this? It was once dubbed: ‘the raunchiest coffee table book in history’? Controversial perhaps, but I must confess that mine has never made it as far as my coffee table...Instead, I keep it in my hallway by my front door – largely due to the fact that it’s metallic cover and excessive size make it spot-on for slinging at fucking bible-tappers and double-glazing salesmen should they interrupt me watching 'Bargain Hunt'.

'Mansfield Park' by Jane Austen. Now, the fabled love twists of 'Fanny' and her friends might not be everybody’s cup of tea...but I found, that at 480 Pages, the paperback version was the exact perfect size to wedge under the wonky kitchen table leg that had been pissing me off for fucking ages. Sweet.

'Nineteen Eighty-Four' by George Orwell. An indulgence possibly, but I went all out and spent an extra few quid on the hardback edition. Words can’t explain the feeling of fulfilment I got after I propped it against a copy of ‘The Catcher in the Rye’ by J. D. Salinger and made the pair into a ramp for my remote control car. That combination of mega-literary heavyweights allowed my jeep to launch with exact precision the required 60 degrees so it could land in the dog’s bed from 4 feet away!

'Brave New World' by Aldous Huxley. This Dystopian fantasy classic soon became an invaluable mainstay on my bedside table as its’ strangely thin pages allow me to easily roll it up and twat spiders and suchlike, especially moths, when they fuck about by my lamp at night. Little cuntwads.

'In Search of Lost Time' by Marcel Proust. At 1.5 million words, it might seem like a bit of an epic for some, but I think it was well worth the purchase. This influential and sometimes controversial triumph consists of seven, glorious French volumes that are wank-tasticly massive, and they make a cock-hot footstool if you lob a cushion on top and bundle the lot together with sticky tape.

'The Lost Symbol' by Dan Brown. I’ve highlighted this one in particular but I can pretty much count all of Mr Brown’s tomes in for this one. For every time I perch on the chod bin to pinch off a loaf that turns out to be particularly girthy and troublesome, I know I can always consult my collection of Dan Brown novels. People do tend to slag off his works, but I find there’s nothing better to wipe my dirtbox with after a particularly runny, rancid and blood-coming-out-of–the-eyes inducing uberturd.

Better than Andrex I reckon. Thoroughly absorbing.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 5 Jan 2012, 19:57, 4 replies)

Carlos Castanada - Whatever The First One Was Called
98% duller than ditchwater, followed by a lengthy analysis of ditchwater. Save your money and buy some massive drugs.
(CADmonkey rollllllllled another one, just like the other one, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 19:57, 1 reply)

Russell Farrell
This little known author had a big influence on me and I highly recommend his work. Underrated and unappreciated in this vicious world.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 5 Jan 2012, 19:55, 2 replies)