An actual story about a book...
... Though I would recommend the book too.

Just before the (original) film of Let The Right One In came out, I bought the book having heard good things about it. Was on a coach to Liverpool, had my iPod on shuffle and Morrissey's Last Of The Famous International Playboys came on. I found the book in my bag, opened it and started reading. Just before the first chapter was a quote from the song I was listening to, and the quoted lyrics actually played as I read "I never wanted to kill, I am not naturally evil, such things I do just to make myself more attractive to you, have I failed?" which was very spooky and set the tone for an unsettling read.
(clinteastwoodbradfield, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 13:31, Reply)

roald dahl.
I can't wait till my daughters old enough to start reading and all these wonderful stories I can introduce her to. Ooohh exciting !
(shezam slouching towards nirvana., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 13:28, 5 replies)

Miles by Miles Davis
One of the best motherfucking autobiographies ever. Every other motherfucking word is motherfucker or motherfucking cat and the motherfucking stories in it are amazing and told like a real motherfucker by the motherfucker himself.

One particular motherfucking anecdote that will always stay with motherfucking me is the motherfucking tale about how he accidentally kicked some snow into the footwell of his motherfucking Ferrari. He thinks the motherfucking pigs done planted some motherfucking coke on him, so he dumps the motherfucking car in the motherfucking street with the mothingfucking engine still running and heads to the nearest motherfucking building. Once inside he gets into the motherfucking lift with a woman. Halfway up, he turns to her and says;

"What you doin' in my car bitch?" and punches her in the motherfucking face.

What a motherfucker.
(Demis CousCous, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 13:22, 2 replies)

Howl's moving castle
I watched the studio Ghibli film, and was blown away by it. When I found out it was based on a welsh book, I had to have a read.
First, you have to forget the film. It is a great film, but a different story. Which is good in a way, as you can enjoy both without knowing the ending from the other.
It is a teenage fantasy book, and as such can be a bit simple, so you have to accept that. Once you do, it is a brilliant romp through wizards, magic and best of all-a castle on bloody legs! I'd love to be able to live in that book.
( Greenbat, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 13:03, 5 replies)

His Dark Materials trilogy
By Phillip Pullman is definitely one of my favourite stories. I read it every year, and it never fails to suck me into it's world(s). Can anybody recommend anything similar? I don't really like LOTR and I heard that the game of thrones books are a bit pants.
Worst book? Probably The Hobbit or Dorian Gray..
(bryo, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 13:02, 7 replies)

Ulysses
7 pages and nobody's mentioned Ulysses yet?

I like all sorts of books - ranging from mindless fun to classic fiction. I devour books and treat each on its own terms. I enjoy thrillers (John Grisham, for example) as much as anyone, but also classics, especially the Russians. I loved War and Peace, not for the pose value but because I think it is one of the most beautiful books ever written, save for the author's unnecessary and banal philosophising at the end. So I'm not one of those readers who gets bored if there isn't an explosion or car chase on every page.

And so to Ulysses. Several years ago I decided it was time to give this mammoth work a try. I knew it would be a difficult book and that I probably wouldn't understand all of it, but I was looking forward to the challenge. I love playing around with words (I'm a crossword nerd) and I am an amateur linguist (I have more enthusiasm than talent). So I bought a copy and got started.

I'll read a Grisham novel in a night. Oliver Twist took me a few days. With Ulysses, I limped up to the 100 page mark after about three months. I could see that the writing is very clever and I did enjoy some of Joyce's plays on words. But as a novel, I found it unreadable. Not boring, exactly, in the way that I found Moby Dick boring (too much obsessive detail and too many digressions). It was like reading a text in a foreign language I don't know very well. I won't dismiss the book, as some do, as pretentious rubbish or the Emperor's new clothes. I don't think that it's the literary equivalent of unmade beds or exhibitions of canned turds. This may be a poser's choice of book but I think the book itself probably is a masterpiece and I'm just too thick to appreciate it. After I got to page 100, at which point the only thing I really understood was that Leopold Bloom had fed his cat, I gave up. I could have struggled on for another 100 pages to read about him feeding his dog, but I decided life's too short.

Who here has read, finished, and most importantly enjoyed, this book?

Apologies for length (unlike James Joyce!).
(eesnahk, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:27, 16 replies)

One of my favourites...
... is Mr Dickens, although I haven't read all of his works yet.

So far I've read:
Great Expectations,
David Copperfield,
Nicholas Nickleby,
The Pickwick Papers,
Hard Times.

The favourite so far is The Pickwick Papers as I love the characters (Sam Weller is a new literary favourite), and how the book can be so comic, and also so grim.

I've really enjoyed all that I've read of his, and as it's his bicentenary coming up, there are loads of Dickens events/ adaptations going on at the moment- brillo. As part of that, I've been volunteering to proofread his weekly magazines, "Household Words" and "All the Year Round" so they can be available online for the first time. It's interesting stuff.

Next on my list is Martin Chuzzlewit, but I'm currently reading Caitlin Moran (and loving it), then I have the Alan Partidge book to read.

I was given a Kindle for Christmas - although I agree with a previous opinion on here that it's not the same curling up in bed with a Kindle, it's exciting to browse all the books and have them at your fingertips, in your home or on the move.
( awayfromthenumbers, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:25, 7 replies)

My favourites
In no particular order:
"House of Leaves" by Mark Z Danielewski
"Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World" by Haruki Murakami
"Weathercock" by Glen Duncan
"Little Hands Clapping" by Dan Rhodes (absolutely anything by Dan Rhodes to be honest)
"The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time" by Mark Haddon
"The Woman Who Walked Into Doors" by Roddy Doyle
"Concrete Island" by JG Ballard
"The House of Sleep" by Jonathan Coe
"Room" by Emma Donoghue

Ones to avoid? Too many. I particularly loathed "McCarthy's Bar" by Pete McCarthy though - the only book I've ever finished reading and torn to shreds before putting it into the bin.
(nasalhair The Twix guy!, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:23, 6 replies)

The Moon's a Balloon
David Niven's Autobiography. It's fantastic.

He was in the Army and worked as a Booze Salesman in New York before getting into acting, and moving into a bachelor pad with Errol Flynn.

It's a hilarious account of a quite traditional Englishman who gradually becomes a massive star and doesn't seem in the slightest bit fazed by the whole thing. Packed with great anecdotes, as is his other book - 'Bring on the Empty Horses'.

If you like your hilarious Hollywood memoirs slightly more bittersweet and even more sozzled, try Errol Flynn's 'My Wicked, Wicked Ways': he gets drunk, gets in a fight, and ends up shagging someone roughly once every five pages.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:23, 3 replies)

What's with all this reading nonsense?
These are the only five books a true B3tan will ever need:

1) The Complete Shaolin Kung Fu Compendium
2) The Supermodel Directory
3) The Kama Sutra (to be used in conjunction with 2, above)
4) Some kind of Street Drugs Encyclopedia (make sure it is totally massive)
5) Haynes Honda Accord 1994-1997 Automotive Repair Manual

Learn them by heart, chuck your specs away, and get livin...
(Mystery_Machine, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 12:03, 2 replies)

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly by Jean-Dominique Bauby
The memoir of the editor-in-chief of French Elle magazine who following a massive stroke, is left with locked in syndrome, where he is left totally paralyzed and speechless, and is only able to communicate by blinking a single eye-lid.

The book is only short but the story he dictates is absolutely phenomenal, as while he describes the horrors of his condition, he is also able to use his imagination to live a new life.

Would totally recommend reading it as it gives you that "sad but inspired" feeling afterwards.

Worst books: Lee Child's Jack Reacher series.
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:52, 2 replies)

Dark Tower series by Stephen King
The dark tower books from one to seven are fucking brilliant. Although the last one gave me proper shoulder ache after humping a metric tonne of book from work and back again for a few months
(spicerack, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:46, 6 replies)

Four Minute Warning by M J Tolley
The book follows a 14 year old boy who suddenly suffers a massive brain haemorrhage and collapses, going from a healthy teenage boy without a care in the world to almost dying on the kitchen floor in just four minutes.

The story follows his initial fight for survival; slowly regaining his memory and awareness of his surroundings, relearning how to communicate and overcoming the paralysis to be able to walk and use his hands again (so that he can play his computer games again mainly!), while dealing with the trials and tribulations of teenage life too.

Think "The Diving Bell and the Butterfly" meets "Secret Diary of Adrian Mole" and you get the sort of gist of it.

I guess it's the book I am most familiar with, and has had the most impact on my life. Mainly because I wrote it, and that boy was me.

I've written articles and things for stroke magazines and newspapers, but I was always forced to heavily edit what I wanted to say into a few column inches. I wanted to write my story in full and while I never planned to write a whole novel, one day I wrote a sample chapter (the bit where I describe the four minutes), then showing it to some friends and my sister who encouraged me to keep writing. It ended up taking three years but was released in 2010 and has had a fair bit of positive feedback. It's sold dozens of copies so far and has got me on BBC radio, in newspapers and guest speaker appearances which hopefully helps raise the profile of young stroke survivors.

I know it'll never be a best seller of course but I'm still looking for a proper publisher who might give it a go. In the meantime it's available via Lulu at the moment in paperback, PDF and on the iBookstore if anyone's interested. I'm donating 20% of my royalties Different Strokes and The Stroke Association so it's going to help other stroke survivors.

www.lulu.com/product/paperback/four-minute-warning/14020890 (link to paperback version)

itunes.apple.com/us/book/four-minute-warning/id443928547?mt=11

Sorry for the spam, but it'd be rude not to mention it in this week's QOTW...

PS: If anyone here is thinking about writing a book, just get on and write it - even if it only gets self published. The feeling you get when you see your words in print is awesome!
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:44, 3 replies)

The problem with getting a Kindle is that, obviously
new visitors to one's home can't immediately see how incredibly well-read one is.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:37, 12 replies)

Frederick Foysyth
is my favourite novelist by a long way. The Deceiver, Day of the Jackal, Icon and The Avenger are all amazing espionage books, and I have thoroughly enjoyed all his works including his short stories.

Classical stuff - Edward Dumas' Count of Monte Cristo or Three Musketeers take some beating. For poetry, Dante's Inferno is ace as a twisted view of the afterlife, if you can put up with all the God bothering (but not Purgatorio which is dull or Paradiso which is utter gash). Virgil's Aeneid and the Odyssey are must reads, and The Picture of Dorian Grey is class too.
(Mr Fudge It shouldn't be illegal to have sex with an eagle, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:34, Reply)

Douglas Coupland
I loved Microserfs. I'm not sure when I first read it but it was probably in the late '90s when I was starting to get more and more interested in computers. The characters were normal, had their own quirks, obsessions and flaws that made them likeable and easy to identify with. The plot was engaging and touching (if not fast paced) and you wanted the best for all the characters. Even the "pseudo-techy" formatting was enjoyable, adding something to the overall story.

So, when JPod came out in 2006 I jumped at it... Here was what was being decribed as Coupland's "Microserfs for the Google Generation".

Except it was shit. The characters were unlikeable and unbelievable and the storyline felt so unrealistic I couldn't get over it. I never managed to finish the book as I was so disappointed that it didn't match up to Microserfs. Perhaps if I hadn't had such high hopes then I might have found it less irritating. Either way, it ended up in the charity shop.

Now. Where's my copy of Microserfs?
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:26, 4 replies)

A dissapointing sequel
to his erotic exploration of gay S&M, Character and Leitmotif in 19th Century Art Music.

link.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:22, Reply)

Does anyone here who fancies themselves as a writer ever
Start writing porn for their own amusement, only to get half way through, have a quick wank, and then go and do something more interesting?

Just asking, like.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:05, 6 replies)

Jane Eyre.
Its fucking shit, the worst piece of drivel I have ever been forced to read. I would have rather nailed my testicles to the school desk rather than read this guff in GCSE English.
The book is basically about some soppy bint that becomes a teacher in a posh blokes house.
This drippy tart falls in love with posh bloke and wants to marry him but at the wedding someone points out that he is already married and his missis is locked up in the attic.
Now this is where you would think alarm bells would start ringing and the plod would be involved, but he doesn’t he just says “Shes Mad”. And everyone seems fine about this.
Hold on, she’s Mad? She is locked in an attic, I bet she is fucking furious.
If she is indeed insane why does no one question whether she has been attended to by a mental health specialist? Has she been diagnosed with any mental health issue and should the treatment really be hiding her in the attic and occasionally throwing scraps of food at her and changing her turd bucket ? Who is the mad one here, poor bitch in the attic or this posh bloke. I wouldn't be surprised if he is probably the great great great grandfather of Josef Fritzl .
Anyway the soppy bitch Jane runs away from the wedding. Lucky escape if you ask me, before she would know it she would be tied up in the cellar and Mr posh would be playing snooker with her eyeballs.
Unfortunately there were no chapters where the posh bloke dismembers corpses, I think someone died of constipation, but there is a bit where Jane describes flicking herself off. Its not that good, but my English teacher (the one that got arrested in some toilets lezzing it up with another woman) did get quite excited about this.
And she occasionally looks at the moon, which is odd because she isn’t a werewolf or related to Patrick Moore.
She then goes and pokes a Saint before going back to find that Mr Posh house has caught fire and he is now a cripple (he has a bad hand and iffy eyesight) and she marrys the nutter.
Its shite, proper shite, a long rambling boring book that I have summed up better than the original novel. I have no idea why this book is a “Classic”
(Orkstomper, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:02, 4 replies)

Bruce Campbell - If chins could kill
Do I really need to explain why? It's Bruce Campbell!
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 11:01, 5 replies)

We keep a copy of Roger's Profanisaurus in the office...
if you're having a bad day, pick a letter of the alphabet at random and try and read a chapter without giggling out loud.

No-one has managed it yet.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 10:54, 4 replies)

World War Z
Read the book; don’t just wait for the film if you’re one of 'those' people - it will bear little resemblance to the text anyway as I understand it. Anyway, a fantastic read.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 10:38, 3 replies)

The Bible
I think I'll make it my New Years resolution to read the Bible. I've always meant to but just never got around to it.

I also think it should be taught in schools. Not as an introduction to Christianity, but as the basis of a lot of western literature and a pseudo-historical document.
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 10:36, 20 replies)

I know a couple where the lady of the house has a bit of a thing for classic literature.
Everytime they get a new Cat, she has named it after what would be considered to be a classic author. They currently have three moggies, the first two are called Shakespeare (after William) and Bronte (after Emily I believe). The third is called Hargreaves (after Roger).

She regrets letting her partner choose the name for that one.
( Muns, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 10:26, 2 replies)

I don't know if it's already bindun
I am OBSESSED with We Need To Talk About Kevin by Lionel Schriver and was not impressed by the recent film release at all.

There are a number of reasons why this is one of my favourite books but probably the main one is that parts of the book really resonated.

The storyteller, Eva, is reluctant to have children much like the author because she likes her life as it is. A line in an essay written by the author about the book really stayed with me, she writes: "Since just about any stranger could come knocking nine months later, coitus without contraception is like leaving your front door unlocked. Unsafe sex, indeed".

Everytime I read this book I can't decide whether I fall on the side of Eva who unwittingly opened her home to a disturbed individual from whom she cannot separate herself or whether the storyteller is cold and cruel and responsible for the events in the book. Either way, the fact is, Eva is an unreliable storyteller and I feel it reallys sets the tone.

Anyway I'll stop frothing at the mouth.
(GirlOfTheWorld, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 10:18, 3 replies)

Harry Potter
I read the first one and it was clearly aimed at a teenage/younger audience. So when I see full grown adults reading them my literary snobbishness decries that a small part of me dies inside. They are to literature what starbucks is to coffee - accessible, available, but nowhere close to outstanding. While I would always advocate reading books rather than spending ones time watching the inane drivel that tv delivers to our subconscious I can't help thinking that if you're reading Harry Potter and you're over the age of 15 you're missing out on the good stuff.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 10:11, 22 replies)

I don't read many books more than once, but...
...I've already read Glen David Gold's Carter Beats the Devil two or three times and I'd happily read it again. Really enthralling and entertaining.

The same goes for The Shipping News by Annie Proulx. I'd give my left nut to be able to write as well as she does.
( reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Lee Child - AVOID!
Absolutely rubbish read! I quite like Jeffrey Deaver, Mark Billingham, Linwood Barclay, John Grisham, Tess Gerritsen.

First book I read was The Blue Nowhere by Jeffrey Deaver about a guy who can hack into your PC, take control of the PC and then find and kill you.
(KarlToOnZ feels like crap on, Fri 6 Jan 2012, 9:58, 2 replies)