Whom is not simply a posh version of who.
If you could replace the word with he or she, it's who. If you could replace it with him or her, it's whom.
E.g.
'I see my friend, who is a carpenter, every Tuesday'. You'd say 'she is a carpenter', rather than 'her is a carpenter', so you use who.
'My friend, whom I see every Tuesday, is a carpenter'. You'd say 'I see her' rather than 'I see she', so you use whom.
If in doubt, just say who. No-one says 'to whom are you talking?' any more anyway; they say 'who are you talking to?'

Myself and yourself are not posh versions of me and you, using similar logic. I talk to myself, I talk to you. You talk to yourself, you talk to me.

Thine is not a posh version of thy. This one is often used by people (even, unfortunately, published authors) when they want to sound olde worlde. I can't be bothered to go into a proper explanation of early modern English grammar, but in short: thy is your, thine is yours. The sword is thine, but never say 'take thine sword'. That just sounds bell-ended.
An even more egregious one I heard once was thy's (to mean 'your'). Oh dear.

I'm not a paragon of English language. I say 'proper' and 'well' instead of 'very' sometimes, and I don't oppose all changes and deviations from the language. But some are too terrible to be ignored.
Whenever someone says 'I could care less' when they mean 'couldn't care less' I want to stab the fucker. If they thought about what they were saying, for one fucking second, they'd realise they're saying the exact opposite of what they intended. I approve of quite a lot of change in language, but this one is so fucking stupid because it's a failure of logic. Is it really so hard to think what they must be saying?
I used to be annoyed by the misuse of 'decimate' until I realised that we don't really need a word for the destruction of one in tenth. Having a word for totally destroy is much more useful. However, I do still object to the misuse of 'plethora'. It's useful to have a single word for 'an excessive amount', but we already have a lot of words for 'a large amount', so there's no need to re-appropriate it for this.

Calling the letter H 'haitch' rather than 'aitch' = nasty and common.

'Could I get' instead of 'could I have'... is okay, actually! No-one is questioning your permission or capability to 'have' something; of course you're allowed to have/capable of having the thing. Whether you can get, or obtain, the thing is another matter. I find the people complaining about 'could I get' more annoying than those who actually say 'could I get'. I say 'may I get' so I'm probably loathed by both camps.

(sp) and (sp?) You're on the fucking internet! Fucking look up the spelling, or paste it in Word and use the spellcheck. Some browsers even have a spellcheck inbuilt. It's just about acceptable in IM, where speed is of the essence, but on a message board you have all the time in the world. Look up the spelling if you're not sure, you lazy shitcock!

The telly programme in which Johnny Knoxville and chums get up to hilarious japes is called Jackass, not Jackarse. Yes, we do call a bum an arse and not an ass, but a 'jackass' is a male donkey. Therefore it is an ass regardless of your brand of English.

Learn the difference between i.e. and e.g.! Too many people use the former when they mean the latter. I.e.: id est = that is. E.g.: exemplia gratia = for example. Compare:
'I like looking at birds, e.g. ducks, pigeons, and geese.'
'I like looking at birds, i.e. animals from the class Aves, not women.'

Americans mangling Ts and Ds so much when speaking that they don't actually know how to spell words with T and D in them any more. I've seen 'metiocre', 'bitty' (as in 'old biddy'; they weren't talking about the sketch on Little Britain) and 'distain'. I can't think of any examples where the t/d confusion runs the other way but I'm sure I've seen some. (Edit: 'cathardic')

On the subject of Americanisms, not every American word is a bastardisation of our language. A lot of American words are in fact the original British ones, which they've retained and we've changed, often in an attempt to be more European and distance ourselves from the Yanks. We used to write 'color', 'skeptic', and 'fall' for autumn. It's annoying hearing misinformed people going on about how the Americans fucked up 'our' language. We got rid of it; it's not ours any more.

Could/would/should of: It's 'have', you stupid, stupid motherfucking cock monkey! Why is this so hard to get right? How the sugary fuck can 'would of' possibly make sense? What the fuck would that even mean?

Any radio advert for a music compilation that mentions the word 'R&B' really annoys me, because I know I'm about to be subjected to 30 seconds of samples of vapid, insipid chavpop shite that was written by aligning some blocks in a music program and then slapping some Autotuned warbling over the top. What the fuck happened to R&B? It used to be a lovely genre - Chuck Berry, BB King, John Lee Hooker, etc. and now it appears to stand for rap & booty rather than rhythm & blues. Yes, music and musical tastes change. No, I'm not an old fart who doesn't like any music made in the last half-century. But what the fuck is this shit? Drivel for fucktards who think it's sophisticated.

Your sitting room (or living room, if you must) is not a 'lounge'. You haven't got a lounge, you prick, unless your house is a ship or an airport. And your sofa is not a 'settee'. It's a fucking sofa, you cunts. And if you're wiping your face with a 'serviette' you'd better be French.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 14:37, 7 replies)

Nice
I never knew the context for using whom
( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 14:42, closed)

Yeah
Really gets on my tits people confusing thy and thine. 200 years ago.
(Crayola Oblongata Is it Monday?, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 14:50, closed)

I play WoW.
:P

And read fantasy novels. If the author can't do that little bit of research it's generally safe to assume the book will be wank.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 14:53, closed)

I say "To whom are you talking?"
Then again I am a severe grammar nazi.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 15:52, closed)

Heh, I do too.
Or 'to which of us are you talking?' I meant no-one as in the generic no-one, in the same way that no-one speaks Latin any more or no-one uses film cameras any more.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 15:57, closed)

Haitch
Calling the letter H 'haitch' rather than 'aitch' = nasty and common

I was always taught the other way round! Therefore I blame my teachers for my common ways.
( VandenPlas can't think of anything clever - no change there!, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 16:22, closed)

i had a teacher
who would call it "itch"
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 16:48, closed)

Was he Sith Ifrican?

( Bob Todd whee, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 16:53, closed)

.
Ditto to this. We were always taught Haitch. It feels unnatural for me to pronounce it any other way.

*waits for someone to mention people who use "ditto"*
(Bewareofthephil, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 12:11, closed)

It sounds like someone trying to sound posh,
which is a vulgar thing to do. You don't say 'hhhour' or 'hhhonest', do you? If someone spoke like that you'd think they were trying (and failing) to sound well-spoken.
( Bob Todd whee, Fri 9 Apr 2010, 13:37, closed)

Agreed.
Although the old English is somewhat academic perhaps.

Learn the difference between i.e. and e.g.! Too many people use the former when they mean the latter. I.e.: id est = that is. E.g.: exemplia gratia = for example. Compare:
'I like looking at birds, e.g. ducks, pigeons, and geese.'
'I like looking at birds, i.e. animals from the class Aves, not women.'

Although I have long been aware of e.g. as an example, a relatively recent revelation to me was the difference between i.e. and viz. I suspect I was not the only one confusing them!
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 16:47, closed)

Viz is the one that looks like a children's comic
but they all say 'FUCK'.

Thy/thine isn't really Old English. Old English is Beowulf, Middle English is Chaucer, Modern English is Shakespeare.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 16:49, closed)

True though this may be....
... I do tend to find that I can use "whom" in a pub without being glassed, whereas "thyne" might be pushing it. Not sure quite what type of English that defines but I think it makes thyne not current English, even if it is "Modern".
( Ugi , it's a game of give and cake, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 17:39, closed)

Oh no
Should/would/could of...I want to kill them all!
(Beklet is inexplicably angry, Sun 11 Apr 2010, 17:53, closed)

I love you
Especially "I could care less". Of the same ilk: "All priests are not paedophiles" when they mean "Not all priests are paedophiles". Again the wrong one is the precise opposite of the intended meaning.

But I disagree with lounge being wrong. It's a place for lounging.
(thefuckestuppest cheapened this, on, Mon 12 Apr 2010, 16:56, closed)

Lounge probably isn't wrong;
it's just a word I find annoying.
( Bob Todd whee, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 9:04, closed)