I love a cup of tea in bed in the morning.
One morning I was particularly enjoying my brew, from the first short "it's still a bit hot" sips through the increasingly large gulps which were allowed to swirl pleasurably around the mouth before swallowing, and then arriving at the last mouthful, I closed my eyes, tilted back my head and slowy drained the cup, savouring every last lingering drop and remaining motionless for several moments afterwards.

When I opened my eyes I realised that my Mum had been in, and left some tissues that she'd wanked onto on the bedside table.
(Cave Duck, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 14:58, 15 replies)

Let me get this right
While you drank your tea, your mum had a wank, came into your room, and put the wanky rag on your bedside table?
(Corbo, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:03, closed)

I know
this story is absolutely outrageous. My friend told me the exact same thing.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:25, closed)

That's suspicious
I think everyone has a 'friend of a friend' whose headphone-wearing mum came into their room and wanked quietly, but wasn't noticed because the friend of a friend' was drinking tea.

I call shenanigans
(teebie jeebie, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:32, closed)

And we all know that women deposit their semen in tissue
unlike boys, who use socks.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:16, closed)

ha!

( rofl harris, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:23, closed)

yes
The same thing happened to me, only the ice cream van had run out.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 4 Jun 2010, 15:56, closed)

Don't tell me..
the ice cream man had topped himself
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 18:23, closed)

And then you got chilli on your cock.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:24, closed)

Wait...
You mean she didn't take the opportunity to get some chili on your cock?!

Edit: Bah! Curse you JMW!
(flimflam_machine, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:27, closed)

In Loogabarooga.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:27, closed)

It took me a while
... but I got it in the end.

Must be Friday post-lunch.
(Neil_E_There didn't the Aussies used to be good at cricket?, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 16:45, closed)

Getting it in the end goes a lot faster if you have a good lube
*so I've heard*
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 17:32, closed)

Lurpak Spreadable.
(TexasPete enjoyed being sexually molested by your Father on, Fri 4 Jun 2010, 19:30, closed)

This is the first Qotw in months that has brought a tear to my eye.
Funny doesn't cover it.
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sat 5 Jun 2010, 13:43, closed)

3rd eye?
(TexasPete enjoyed being sexually molested by your Father on, Sun 6 Jun 2010, 16:51, closed)