Ventrillo. . .
First post, be gentle!

I am, for my sins, a gamer. I am also in my late teens.

One afternoon, late last summer, my boyfriend and I were doing our usual thing on World of Warcraft, no-life healing a raid. Amongst the usual spam of "OMG U N00B" over ventrillo, we were all told to take a 10 minute break.

Two half naked lovers, glistening in the early evening heat, look into each others eyes, and the inevitable happens. Yes! That's right, loud, rauchy, passionate sex on the sofa.

The heat was rising, the moans were getting louder, the passion building, then at the point of no return a little voice pipes up nervously from the computer, "Do you think they are done?".

Yes, we'd forgotten to turn ventrillo off.
(TenTinyGnomes, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 13:54, 47 replies)

Well I certainly believe this one happened.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 13:55, closed)

I WAS JUST GOING TO GAZ YOU THIS LINK BUT YOU GOT THERE FIRST

(PsychoChomp, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 13:56, closed)

Actually it did - I was one of those on ventrillo listening.
(Freakmandu, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 13:57, closed)

Well you've convinced me.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 13:58, closed)

Glad about that.
(Freakmandu, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 13:59, closed)

And I was one of the orcs

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 13:58, closed)

and i was the sofa

( Lightguy hail satan, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:10, closed)

I was the Honda.

( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:16, closed)

I was doing massive drugs
to soften the effects of hearing it going on
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:08, closed)

Me too.
I started to life tap myself and then rub my soulstones. I made my mount watch.
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:00, closed)

I then had to repair my armour.
I over aggro'd
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:02, closed)

I used my penis of +10 charisma
and buffed it loads.
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:03, closed)

Congratulations!
Your horn just levelled!
( TFD is sporting this season's finest necropants, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:23, closed)

my penis has got shoulderpads

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:26, closed)

Are they Epic?
Or just blue.
(TenTinyGnomes, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:27, closed)

epic
I've also got a deathbringer warlock mask on my helmet
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:47, closed)

Oh for Gawd's sake...
Will you and your overly-cynical nature please just fuck right off?

Ta
(Sir Itchalot has a very self-referential signature, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:45, closed)

I put on my wizard's sleeve... I mean hat.

( Edd: The Unfunny Try-Hard Edgelord, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 13:57, closed)

The flaw in this story
is that it assumes that gamers know what sex sounds like.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:01, closed)

Very true, hehe.
(TenTinyGnomes, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:02, closed)

And that WoW players have girlfriends.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:03, closed)

Many of us have a broadband internet connection
Of course we know what it sounds like! In the same way that we know what war sounds like because Hollywood makes films about war, right? Right.
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 8:44, closed)

I have no idea what you are talking about

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:02, closed)

But. . .
Breasts.
(TenTinyGnomes, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:03, closed)

What?
Where?
( broadsword w⚓, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:06, closed)

I can imagine the scene was like two planets colliding.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:02, closed)

Imagine what the room SMELT like.
All stale sweat, old tshirts, rancid takeaway and mouldering jizzy hankies.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:04, closed)

Actually
You're quite right, except it was more like, old chinese, red wine, sweat and cats.
(TenTinyGnomes, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:06, closed)

Why didn't the old Chinese
tell you to stop?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:15, closed)

To be honest
He was over the other side of the room, perving,
(TenTinyGnomes, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:22, closed)

they were too busy eating the cats

(Nanny Pat vote for me, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:22, closed)

Is that how they eat cats?
In a red wine, and sweat sauce? Or maybe sweat was a typo, for sweet.

Sweet and sour cat, anyone?
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:25, closed)

Sounds lovely. Hand us a leg
(TenTinyGnomes, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:26, closed)

the thought made me do a little sick into my mouth

(likeajackhammer, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:14, closed)

Unintentional VoIP phone sex FTW
Plus, make sure you hide your profile pics from your fellow gamers unless you want "OMG U NOOB" replaced by "OMG HAWTNESS".
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 14:57, closed)

Am I the only person on the interwebs
That has no idea about all this World of Warcraft bollocks?
( snee held his breath since, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:27, closed)

no you're not alone
What's the point of it??
( rofl harris, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:51, closed)

*shrugs*

( snee held his breath since, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 16:40, closed)

WoW people only think about sex with elves.

(Archeleus hates cabbage, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 15:54, closed)

Actualy
He was an undead. :D
(TenTinyGnomes, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 16:29, closed)

Atleast you didn't deny it.
Have a click.
(Archeleus hates cabbage, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 2:39, closed)

Sounds like there's a b3ta guild!
Story recalls memories, too.
(kael13, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 17:06, closed)

Dunno about a guild - Ive been a member here for a while, and when I saw this QotW I mentioned it to TTG because of that very incident, thought it would go well here this week.
(Freakmandu, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 17:50, closed)

lol, gang-raid :p
You can tell you've been playing WoW too much when your missus'es knickers are considered a rare drop.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Wed 9 Jun 2010, 17:07, closed)

Sheesh, months and months of ...
"So what should we raid tonight?"

"Ten Tiny Gnomes!!!!"
(Que?, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 2:07, closed)

I hope this wins
Not because I think it's a particularly great story, mind, but because if it does win Amorous Badger might just die of apoplexy.
(oball needs Satan more than he needs me, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 3:37, closed)

lol

(likeajackhammer, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 9:55, closed)