Ok, here's whats had me giggling like a loon all day...


Step 1.Choose your favourite love song, or any song about lurve for that matter.

Step 2. Look up the lyrics on t'interweb. Copy and paste into Word.

Step 3. Run a find&replace on the word 'love' and replace with the word 'knob'.

Step 4. Die laughing like a 9-yr old.

Optional step 5. Post the results here so we can all appreciate your artistry!

Try it. You will like it.

My fave so far is 'Is this love' by Whitesnake.....

I should have known better
Than to let you go alone
It's times like these
I can't make it on my own
Wasted days, and sleepless nights
An' I can't wait to see you again

I find I spend my rime
Waiting on your call
How can I tell you, babe
My back's against the wall
I need you by my side
To tell me it's alright
Cos I don't think I can take anymore

Is this knob that I'm feeling
Is this the knob that I've been searching for
Is this knob or am I dreaming
This must be knob
Cos it's really go a hold on me
A hold on me

I can't stop the feeling
I've been this way before
But, with you I've found the key
To open any door
I can feel my knob for you
Growing stronger day by day
An' I can't wait too see you again
So I can hold you in my arms


Is this knob that I'm feeling
Is this the knob that I've been searching for
Is this knob or am I dreaming
This must be knob
Cos it's really got a hold on me
A hold on me

Is this knob that I'm feeling
Is this the knob that I've been searching for

Is this knob or am I dreaming
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:26, 33 replies)

Moar
Beatles - All you need is.....

Knob, knob, knob.
Knob, knob, knob.
Knob, knob, knob.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.
It's easy.

Nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.
It's easy.

All you need is knob.
All you need is knob.
All you need is knob, knob.
Knob is all you need.

All you need is knob.
All you need is knob.
All you need is knob, knob.
Knob is all you need.

Nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.

All you need is knob.
All you need is knob.
All you need is knob, knob.
Knob is all you need.

All you need is knob (all together, now!)
All you need is knob. (everybody!)
All you need is knob, knob.
Knob is all you need (knob is all you need).
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:27, closed)

Foreigner...
In my life there's been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
Cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what knob is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what knob is
I know you can show me

(and later...)

Lets talk about knob
I wanna know what knob is, the knob that you feel inside
I want you to show me, and Im feeling so much knob
I wanna feel what knob is, no, you just cannot hide
I know you can show me, yeah

(and later still...)

I wanna know what knob is, lets talk about knob
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too
I wanna feel what knob is, I want to feel it too
And I know and I know, I know you can show me
Show me knob is real, yeah
I wanna know what knob is...
(Good Penny, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 23:12, closed)

Elvis....

knob me tender,
knob me sweet,
Never let me go.
You have made my life complete,
And I knob you so.

knob me tender,
knob me true,
All my dreams fulfilled.
For my darlin I knob you,
And I always will.

knob me tender,
knob me long,
Take me to your heart.
For its there that I belong,
And well never part.

knob me tender,
knob me dear,
Tell me you are mine.
Ill be yours through all the years,
Till the end of time.

(when at last my dreams come true
Darling this I know
Happiness will follow you
Everywhere you go).
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:29, closed)

Madness 'It Must Be Knob'
never thought I'd miss knob half as much as I do
And I never thought I'd feel this way the way I feel about knob.
As soon as I wake up, every night, every day
I know that it's knob I need to take the blues away.

It must be knob, knob, knob.
It must be knob, knob, knob.
Nothing more nothing less knob is the best.

How can it be that we can say so much without words.
Bless knob and bless me, bless the bees and the birds.
I've got to be near knob, every night, every day
I couldn't be happy any other way.

It must be knob, knob, knob.
It must be knob, knob, knob.
Nothing more nothing less knob is the best.

As soon as I wake up, every night, every day
I know that it's knob I need to take the blues away.

It must be knob, knob, knob. It must be knob, knob, knob.
It must be knob, knob, knob. It must be knob, knob, knob.
It must be knob, knob, knob. It must be knob, knob, knob.
It must be knob, knob, knob. It must be knob, knob, knob.


For extra hilarity, 'you' has also been replaced.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:30, closed)

Damn it!
I was just about to post this!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:32, closed)

It's actually...
...a cover version of a song by Labi Siffre (without the knobs I hasten to add).
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Wed 23 Sep 2009, 16:34, closed)

Led Zeppelin - Whole lotta love
You need coolin', baby, I'm not foolin',
I'm gonna send you back to schoolin',
Way down inside honey, you need it,
I'm gonna give you my knob,
I'm gonna give you my knob.

Wanna whole lotta knob?
Wanna whole lotta knob?
Wanna whole lotta knob?
Wanna whole lotta knob?

You've been learnin', baby, I bean learnin',
All them good times, baby, baby, I've been yearnin',
Way, way down inside honey, you need it,
I'm gonna give you my knob,
I'm gonna give you my knob.

Wanna whole lotta knob?
Wanna whole lotta knob?
Wanna whole lotta knob?
Wanna whole lotta knob?

You've been coolin', baby, I've been droolin',
All the good times I've been misusin',
Way, way down inside, I'm gonna give you my knob,
I'm gonna give you every inch of my knob,
Gonna give you my knob.
Yeah! all right! lets go!

Wanna whole lotta knob?
Wanna whole lotta knob?
Wanna whole lotta knob?
Wanna whole lotta knob?

Way down inside, woman,
You need knob.

Shake for me, girl
I wanna be your backdoor man.
Hey, oh, hey, oh
Oh, oh, oh
Keep a-coolin', baby,
Keep a-coolin', baby.
( snee held his breath since, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:31, closed)

but they probably
meant 'knob' anyway.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 17:39, closed)

heh
it fits remarkably well eh?
( snee held his breath since, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 19:05, closed)

Mostly average, except for the bold bit
Can't buy me knob, knob
Can't buy me knob

I'll buy you a diamond ring my friend if it makes you feel alright
I'll get you anything my friend if it makes you feel alright
'Cause I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me knob

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you knob me too
I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you
I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me knob

Can't buy me knob, everybody tells me so
Can't buy me knob, no no no, no

Say you don't need no diamond ring and I'll be satisfied
Tell me that you want the kind of thing that money just can't buy
I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me knob
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:33, closed)

knob is all around me
I feel it in my fingers
I feel it in my toes
Knob is all around me
And so the feeling grows
Its written on the wind
Its everywhere I go, oh yes it is
So if you really knob me
Come on and let it show
You know I knob you, I always will
My minds made up by the
Way that I feel
Theres no beginning,
Therell be no end
cause on my knob you can depend
I see your face before me
As I lay on my bed
I kinda get to thinking
Of all the things you said, oh yes I did
You gave your promise to me and i
Gave mine to you
I need someone beside me
In everything I do, oh yes I do
You know I knob you, I always will,
My minds made up by the
Way that I feel
Theres no beginning,
Therell be no end
cause on my knob you can depend
Got to keep it moving
Oh its written in the wind
Oh everywhere I go, yeah, oh well
So if you really knob me, knob me, knob me
Come on and let it show
Come on and let it show
Come on and let it
Come on and let it (come and let it show, baby)
Come on, come on, come on let it show baby
Come on and let it show
Come on and let it show, baby
Come on and let it show
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:42, closed)

She Nobs You
She Nobs You

Chorus:
She nobs you, yeah, yeah, yeah
She nobs you, yeah, yeah, yeah
She nobs you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Verse #1
You think you lost your nob,
Well, I saw her yesterday.
It's you she's thinking of
And she told me what to say.

Bridge:
She says she nobs you
And you know that can't be bad.
Yes, she nobs you
And you know you should be glad.

Verse #2
She said you hurt her so
She almost lost her mind.
But now she said she knows
You're not the hurting kind.

Bridge:
She says she nobs you
And you know that can't be bad.
Yes, she nobs you
And you know you should be glad. Ooh!

Chorus:
She nobs you, yeah, yeah, yeah
She nobs you, yeah, yeah, yeah
And with a nob like that
You know you should be glad.

Verse #3
YOU KNOW it's up to you,
I think it's only fair,
Pride can hurt you, too,
Apologize to her

Bridge:
Because she nobs you
And you know that can't be bad.
Yes, she nobs you
And you know you should be glad. Ooh!

Chorus:
She nobs you, yeah, yeah, yeah
She nobs you, yeah, yeah, yeah

Bridge:with a nob like that
You know you should
Be Glad!



Bridge:with a nob like that
You know you should
Be Glad!

Bridge:With a nob like that
You know you should
be glad!

Ending:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah Ye-ah.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:50, closed)

Even better one
ENDLESS knob (Lionel Ritchie)

My knob, there's only you in my life,
The only thing that's right.
My first knob, you're every breath that I take,
You're every step I make.
And I, I want to share, all my knob with you,
No one else will do.
And your eyes, they tell me how much you care.
Oh yes, you will always be, my endless knob.

Two hearts, two hearts that beat as one.
Our lives have just begun.
Forever, I'll hold you close in my arms,
I can't resist your charm.
My knob, I'll be a fool, for you I'm sure,
You know I don't mind.
Cause you, you mean the world to me.
Oh, I know I've found in you, my endless knob.

And knob, I'll be that fool, for you, I'm sure.
You know I don't mind.
And yes, you'll be the only one.
Cause no one can deny,
This knob I have its fine.
I'll give it all to you,
My knob, my knob, my endless knob.
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:51, closed)

Hee Hee - this is fun!
One, Two, Three O'clock, Four O'clock knob,
Five, Six, Seven O'clock, Eight O'clock knob.
Nine, Ten, Eleven O'clock, Twelve O'clock knob,
We're gonna knob around the clock tonight.

Put your glad rags on and join me hon',
We'll have some fun when the clock strikes one.

We're gonna knob around the clock tonight,
We're gonna knob, knob, knob, 'till broad daylight,
We're gonna knob around the clock tonight.

When the clock strikes two, three and four,
If the band slows down we'll yell for more.

When the chimes ring five, six, and seven,
We'll be right in seventh heaven.

When it's eight, nine, ten, eleven too,
I'll be goin' strong and so will you.

When the clock stikes twelve we'll cool off then,
Start knobin' 'round the clock again.
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 15:55, closed)

Sade lyrics take on a whole new meaning
Heaven please send to all mankind,
Understanding and peace of mind.
But, if it's not asking too much
Please send me someone to Nob.
Show all the world how to get along,
Peace will enter when hate is gone.
But, if it's not asking too much,
Please send me someone to Nob.
I lay awake night and ponder world troubles.
My answer is always the same.
That unless men put an end to all of this,
Hate will put the world in a flame, (oh) what a shame.
Just because I'm in misery.
I'm not begging for no sympathy.
But if it's not asking too much,
Just send me someone to Nob.
Heaven please send to all mankind,
Understanding and peace of mind.
But if it's not asking too much,
Please send me someone to Nob.
HMMMMMmmmmmm
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 23 Sep 2009, 16:01, closed)

Beatles rules
Nob, Nob me do
You know I Nob you
I'll always be true
So please
Nob me do
Nob me do
Nob, Nob me do
You know I Nob you
I'll always be true
So please
Nob me do
Nob me do
Someone to Nob
Somebody new
Someone to Nob
Someone like you
Nob, Nob me do
You know I Nob you
I'll always be true
So please
Nob me do
Nob me do
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 23 Sep 2009, 16:02, closed)

Doors changed 'girl' for 'boy' too.
Knob me two times, baby
Knob me twice today
Knob me two times, boy
Im goin away
Knob me two times, boy
One for tomorrow
One just for today
Knob me two times
Im goin away

Knob me one time
I could not speak
Knob me one time
Yeah, my knees got weak
But knob me two times, boy
Last me all through the week
Knob me two times
Im goin away
Knob me two times
Im goin away

Oh, yes

Knob me one time
I could not speak
Knob me one time, baby
Yeah, my knees got weak
But knob me two times, boy
Last me all through the week
Knob me two times
Im goin away

Knob me two times, babe
Knob me twice today
Knob me two times, babe
cause Im goin away
Knob me two time, boy
One for tomorrow
One just for today
Knob me two times
Im goin away
Knob me two times
Im goin away
Knob me two times
Im goin away
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 16:09, closed)

On that theme
Dont you knob her madly, dont you need her badly
Dont you knob her ways, tell me what you say
Dont you knob her madly, wanna be her daddy
Dont you knob her face
Dont you knob her as shes walkin out the door
Like she did one thousand times before
Dont you knob her ways, tell me what you say
Dont you knob her as shes walkin out the door
All your knob x4
All your knob is gone,
So sing a lonely song
Of a deep blue dream,
Seven horses seem to be on the mark
Yeah, dont you knob her
Dont you knob her as shes walkin out the door
All your knob x3
Yeah, all your knob is gone
So sing a lonely song
Of a deep blue dream
Seven horses seem to be on the mark
Well, dont you knob her madly
Dont you knob her madly
Dont you knob her madly
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 16:18, closed)

Courtesy of a friend, I bring you.....
..Unchained Melody

Oh, my knob
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your knob
I need your knob
Godspeed your knob to me

Lonely rivers flow to the sea,
to the sea
to the open arms of the sea
lonely rivers sigh 'wait for me, wait for me'
I'll be coming home wait for me

Oh, my knob
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your knob
I need your knob
Godspeed your knob to me
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 17:54, closed)

What's Knob Got to Do with It? (Tina Turner)
You must understand though the touch of your hand
Makes my pulse react
That it's only the thrill of boy meeting girl
Opposittes attract
It's physical
Only logical
You must try to ignore that it means more than that

What's knob got to do, got to do with it
What's knob but a second hand emotion
What's knob got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken

It may seem to you that I'm acting confused
When you're close to me
If a tend to look dazed I've read it someplace
I've got cause to be
There's a name for it
There's a phrase that fits
But whatever the reason you do it for me

What's knob got to do, got to do with it
What's knob but a second hand emotion
What's knob got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken

I've been taking on a new direction
But I have to say
I've been thinking about my own protection
It scares me to feel this way

What's knob got to do, got to do with it
What's knob but a sweet old fashioned notion
What's knob got to do, got to do with it
Who needs a heart when a heart can be broken

Ithangyew.
(Schumann makes awesome quiches., Wed 23 Sep 2009, 17:56, closed)

this has been keeping me entertained all day
just the chorus:

I knob you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I knob you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me knob you, baby.
Let me knob you.
(stitched, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 18:16, closed)

I think we have a winner
That could potentially become the bastard child of question of the week and image challenge.

Scroll to the top and click "I knob this" if you agree.
( eXOBeX, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 21:35, closed)

I completely Knob...
..that you knob this! Thanks for knobbing my work and clicking the knob marked knob to indicate your knob.

Thanks!
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 22:38, closed)

knob hurts
Artist : Cher
Song : Knob Hurts

Knob hurts, knob scars
Knob wounds and mars
Any heart not tough
Or strong enough
Take a lot of pain
Take a lot of pain
Knob is like a cloud
And it holds a lot of rain
Knob hurts, (ooooo), knob hurts

You’re young, I know
Baby, what’s so
I know a thing or two
Ooo honey, I learned from you
I really learned a lot
I really learned a lot
Knob is like a stove
It burns you when it’s hot
Knob hurts, (ooooo), knob hurts

Some fools rave, of happiness
Of blissfulness, togetherness
Oh, some fools,
They fool themselves, I guess
They’re not fooling me
And I know it isn’t true
God, I know it isn’t true
Knob is just a lie and it’s
Made to make you blue
Knob hurts, (ooooo) knob hurts
(ooooo), knob hurts

And I know it isn’t true
Oh, I know it isn’t true
Knob is just a lie and it’s
Made to make you blue
Cause knob hurts
Early in the morning you hurt,
Knob hurts, (ooooo), knob hurts
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 22:16, closed)

you can get ointment for that

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 0:29, closed)

Blur - Tender (edited)
Tender is the night
Lying by your side
Tender is the touch
Of someone that you knob too much
Tender is the day
The demons go away
Lord I need to find
Someone who can heal my mind

Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
knobs the greatest thing
Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
knobs the greatest thing
That we have
Im waiting for that feeling
Im waiting for that feeling
Waiting for that feeling to come

Oh my baby...

Tender is the ghost
The ghost I knob the most
Hiding from the sun
Waiting for the night to come
Tender is my heart
For screwing up my life
Lord I need to find
Someone who can heal my mind

Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
knobs the greatest thing
Come on, come on, come on
Get through it
Come on, come on, come on
knobs the greatest thing
That we have
Im waiting for that feeling
Im waiting for that feeling
Waiting for that feeling to come

Oh my baby...


Tender is the night
Lying by your side
Tender is the touch
Of someone that you knob too much
Tender is my heart you know
For screwing up my life
Oh lord I need to find
Someone who can heal my mind

----

OK, not quite as good as when i first did it.
(radio_shak has questions, got answers, on, Wed 23 Sep 2009, 22:57, closed)

i believe in a thing called knob
just listen to the rhythm of my heart
there's a chance we can make it now
we'll be rockin' till the sun goes down
i believe in a thing called knob
oooooooooo....
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 0:31, closed)

Girls Aloud - Knob Machine
I'm just a knob machine
Feeding my fantasy
Give me a kiss or three
And I'm fine
I need a squeeze a day
Instead of this negligee
What will the neighbours say
This time
(sky blue sam, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 1:05, closed)

!!
lol
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 10:40, closed)

Laughing too much to give full lyrics...
So titles only. My fiance and I have been known to stay up until five in the morning playing this game.

You Give Knob a Bad Name... Bon Jovi
Knob is a Many Splendored Thing... An old classic
I Knob, You Knob... by John Legend
And my favourite, the B52's "Knob Shack".

Defo a future qotw !
(womanwhocanonlylivewithdogs, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 9:56, closed)

Stop! stop it all now...
I can hardly focus I'm laughing so much :)
( snee held his breath since, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 10:35, closed)

Foreigner: I want to know what knob is
I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when Im older

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
I through the clouds I see knob shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
Cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what knob is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what knob is
I know you can show me

Im gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me
Ive got nowhere left to hide
It looks like knob has finally found me

In my life theres been heartache and pain
I dont know if I can face it again
I cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what knob is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what knob is
I know you can show me

I wanna know what knob is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what knob is
And I know, I know you can show me

Lets talk about knob
I wanna know what knob is, the knob that you feel inside
I want you to show me, and Im feeling so much knob
I wanna feel what knob is, no, you just cannot hide
I know you can show me, yeah

I wanna know what knob is, lets talk about knob
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too
I wanna feel what knob is, I want to feel it too
And I know and I know, I know you can show me
Show me knob is real, yeah
I wanna know what knob is...
(Obi wanker nobi Its not a bug, its an unexpected feature, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 12:21, closed)

Bindun!
See above!

(but worth repeating!)
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Thu 24 Sep 2009, 12:24, closed)