Classy :S
Remember that knobnose Craig that won BB1 ? ( I didn't think so..) Well, he was opening a coffee shop in Reading, and me and a mate were bollocked by his security person for scaring him- we were pressing our boobs against the glass in the window and making provocative gestures :P
(Valensin, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 19:03, Reply)

I once saw that Kevin bloke from Coronation Street
in a pub, named The Frozen Mop, located in the village of Mobberly.

I never spoke to him, and my parents wouldn't let me go and annoy him - apparently soap actors are "real people" too... Tch...
( bloojam Is back(ish) in bl3ck, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 19:02, Reply)

Claim to fame
My claim to fame happened about 6 years ago at a Computer Game Expo (Ects for those in the know), Little did I know then that MTV were filming there about how computer games make people violent. There I was with my Mate playing Tekken 2 and shouting obscenities that would make Ozzy blush, oh and also punching my mate in the arm a few times for beating me too.
(Wook13 Been away but is now ducking a fuck on, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:57, Reply)

Once my dad was trying to sell a house to this couple
and he brought me along when he was showing them round. I had no idea why, I was only about 9 so couldn't exactly sell the idea of buying it to them. Anyway, after a little while I start to get this nagging suspicion that I know these people from somewhere. Eventually I tugged on my dad's sleeve when I got the chance and said "Dad, *is* that Cilla and Artie?"

It was the fucking SINGING KETTLE!!! I sort of went speechless when I realised, I knew all their videos/tapes/books off by heart when I was wee. Apparently they got that reaction a lot. We later moved into that house and for the next 9 years it was my real claim to fame: "The Singing Kettle have been in my house!"

Oh, I met Wizadora a few years back at a party of a family friend. Nice lady, lives in Devon :)
(Kazzahdrane, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:45, Reply)

Timmy Mallet
When I was about 12 I got up on stage to sing a song at a pantomime and Timmy Mallet (Buttons I think) gave me a bubble blowing bottle as a reward. Who would have thought that 10 years later the washed up old has-been would turn up at my University as a special guest. Then bump into me, drunkenly spill his drink down my chest and mumble incoherently at my breasts before lurching off again.
(poomypoo, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:39, Reply)

they once filmed a bit of eastenders
outside my house. when i was about 10 i think. Even had the mobile tv burger van with them. brilliant
( ProfHawking Lalalalala BANG!! Run! dammit, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:36, Reply)

claims to fame
I've seen T-Shirt in Tescos.
(John Doyle, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:34, Reply)

The Chuckle Brothers
asked me if my waffle with cream was nice, when, at 15, I walked past them, eating one, on Scarborough seafront.

Seeing as that's not an ace story, I'll also add that my aunty punched Jimmy Saville in the face. No word of a lie.
(b3tasux, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:33, Reply)

also
my mates mum taught Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's foster child (Eyes Wide Shut era) how not to play the piano
(3psylon, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:33, Reply)

oh and...
tried to sell double glazing to nigel from eastenders. Top geezer!
BTW I am not a double glazing salesperson
(3psylon, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:29, Reply)

My ex husband and I sold a car on ebay
to Charles and Astrid of Animotion (cheesy 80's group famous for their song "Obsession").
We drove it up to their house, and they took us out for lunch.
What we didn't tell them was that 3 weeks beforehand, one of the axles on the car had come apart and we had a cheap ass mechanic put it back together again so we could sell it.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:28, Reply)

The Wogan Show
As a pupil at junior school, I felt honoured when I won 3rd place in the school fete tombola / prize draw; the prize was a choice between a trip to a local salon (*great* prize for a 9 year old boy) or tickets to the 'Wogan' show. Anyhow went down into town for the Wogan show, highlight - J P Gaultier being weird and french. When old Tezzer comes up into the audience, me gets a little excited, gets up on chair and starts waving live to the nation behind him. I understand from that weeks viewing figures that 18 million pepes saw me make a tit of myself on TV....
First proper post FUCK YEAH!
(3psylon, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:27, Reply)

denise van outen
met her in a romford nightclub toilet when i was about 15. she was recording for 'something for the weekend'. asked us all who we fancied and, consequently, a scared guy on crutches was dragged into the loos. she also asked if either my friend or i had ever had sex in the 'twobicle'. we hadn't even wee'd in it. she charmingly signed my bus ticket for me. the 294, i think. she's doing a bit better for herself these days, i hear.
(monkeymagiciscool1997, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:21, Reply)

brian ferry came to my shitty flat
I helped this artist called Mat Collishaw design a mosaic for a show in Hackney and while it was being built I made a short timelapse film of it. On the opening night of the show everyone popped back to mine to watch it and Brian Ferry came too. I was chuffed for weeks, so was my friend as he touched her up a bit (allegedly).

Also, the last words ever spoken to me by Tracy Emin were: '...And you can fuck off as well.' Needless to say I'm very proud of this and regard it as a one-off aural artwork given to me for free.
( reaper cushions, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:18, Reply)

Two Degrees From Babs!
My formerly estranged grampa's wife is a Jungian analyst, and she used to do dream analysis for Barbara Streisand. The two of them went and stayed with her for a weekend once, and they speak about it rapturously, like they'd been taken off to fairyland for a night with Tatania. Rather pathetic, I know, both on their part, and on mine for mentioning it here.

Oh yeah, she actually stopped doing it for her, cause Babs is an infantile cunt who used to incessantly ring her up in the middle of the night.

Oh, and while they were there, my Grampa, who is an English professor specializing in the Romantics (the poets, not the crap 80s band) and has a gift for pretty speech, got away with telling her that she's "The bearer of the penis," though explaining how would take several pages.
(revjtoad, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:16, Reply)

My second cousin...
..is in Def Leppard. For shame. For shame.
(ShockerMocker, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:15, Reply)

Leo Sayer
Rock god Leo Sayer came out after a gig while I was on the phone to a friend in the US, we got Leo to talk to him for about 5 minutes (he had know idea who Leo Sayer was)
(itstosh, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:09, Reply)

My Dad shagged 'AC-DC's' Brian Johnsons wife

while Brian was on the 'For those about to rock' tour in 1981. He then got his car nicked from outside their home in Newcastle but couldn't go to the police as the boot was full of bootlegged porn which they used to sell to the workers on the oil rigs. They had to get a train back.

My Grandmother dated Gary Glitter for 2 years before she met my grandfather. "Please mummy, I don't want to stay at their house!"
( Tiggy Twitchin', Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:07, Reply)

oh and...
I was also a zombie extra in "Shaun of the Dead" grrrrr!
( iodax, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:04, Reply)

We will change no babies before it's time...
My dad's aunt babysat a very young (and much thinner) Orson Welles in Kenosha.
( setimret likes his metaphors mixed, not stirred, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:03, Reply)

I use Kojack's barber!
I get my hair cut at Leno's proper gents barbers by Baker Street tube. When Telly Savalas was alive and living in London, he used to get his head shaved by Leno, as he wasn't completely bald. Hope I haven't spoiled the illusion for anyone!
( iodax, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 18:03, Reply)

Led Zeppelin
My uncle and Robert Plant were childhood friends. He later went on tour with them and even got mentioned in Hammer of the Gods.
Also he spent a good few years with Deep Purple as a roadie getting arrested with them in the Philipenes.

I went to the same college as Plant did, but thats about it.

I was apparently shown on news footage drunkenly staggering down Broad Street in Brimingham back when I was 18.

Shared a few beers with the indie band Colour of Fire as well. Nice guys everyone of em.
(Reesy, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 17:56, Reply)

oh
and my mum works with Will Young's Aunt.
(Hazzeryoda www.mongolfrauds.co.uk - London to Mongolia!, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 17:54, Reply)

Pavementtherockband
I named the recent book about Pavement, the kings of indie rock.

I've had lunch with Princess Anne twice.

Im a smug cunt.
(Hazzeryoda www.mongolfrauds.co.uk - London to Mongolia!, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 17:53, Reply)

the british cannibal
a friend (ahem) of mine, who was also my next door neighbour, viciously killed a girl, chopped of her head to adorn his mantelpeice, ate one of her arms, and left the torso in a binbag in a garden round the corner. then proceeded to tell people about it. obviously he was caught, arrested, and put away for the rest of his life.

the photo of him that famously did the rounds on telly/papers etc features him sitting on a sofa beetween two people - one of them is me, the pic taken at my aunties house.

for some reason or another, we dont keep in touch anymore....

apologies for length/girth etc bla bla bla
(Mildred is a slimy, double-crossing, no-good swindler, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 17:34, Reply)

splitting the atom
my great uncle was the first person ever to split the atom...
(spike4848, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 17:30, Reply)

My sister
is a photo editor for a large children's magazine, and recently had a photo shoot with the band Blue. Cue smug Duncan strolling up to my sister asking her to "punch me in the stomach, go on, feel my pecs".

My sister obliged and whacked him one. Apparantly he said "Ow, too hard". She must have caught him as he was breathing in.

Obviously.
( chandler3224, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 17:24, Reply)

TV Death
I was on TV a few times as a kid and on my last ever job I was playing a German kid (complete with basin haircut) alongisde my real sister. We were eating tea when Anthony Valentine crashed his Dakota aeroplane on top of our farmhouse and burned us all to death. woo. I think this was about 1982, it was a Yorkshire TV series called Airline. All I really remember is that Roy Marsden swore a lot and I got a fake brick that was a real hoot at school.
( Father_Ted Drink!, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 17:22, Reply)

Here's some
Good grief, some of these are a bit tenuous aren't they? Let's broaden the brief a little :

My old man's band played support for the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band
I once went out with a girl who taught Art Maliks kid trampolining.
My aunt worked on the original photographic stuff for the revolver image at the beginning of Bond movies.
I once had tea with Cliff Thorburn, the snookerist.
Rolf drew me a Rolferoo when I met him at a book signing.
One of my mates used to do the artwork on Count Duckula & Dangermouse.
My mates cousin is Jane out of Rod Jane and Freddy.
Talking of cousins, I used to live with Sylvester McCoys cousin.
Mick Jaggers grandad used to live next door to me and work at the same mill (closed down - trouble)- Mick was in our local the other week.
Went to college with Jasper Carrots daughter.
Boyhood local frequented by Toni Iommi (masons Arms in Solihull).

And half the Move have my autograph, but I did that one earlier.

My what a whirlwind star studded life I really do lead....
(ruminator Never knowingly overestimated, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 17:21, Reply)

once
I met teh Weeble in central London, in a pub. The guy was wasted, but even better than that, someone had drawn a monster cock on teh wall!

Well, it was funny at the time.
( slippery doctore, Fri 25 Feb 2005, 17:17, Reply)