hot drinks
i don't understand why people are so addicted to tea or coffee. hot drinks take ages to make, take ages to drink, leave you really thirsty, and tea tastes like how i imagine freshly boiled piss would taste, whilst coffee may well be the vilest smell this side of a bacon sandwich. the same goes for soup. soup is great in a bowl with a spoon (although don't get me started on dunking bread in it and making the bread soggier than a 90 year old cock and the soup full of horrible slimy bits, therefore ruining both parts of the meal) but it becomes a horrid drink in a mug.

i also don't get bacon sandwiches. every one of my friends who was a typical teenage girl vegetarian snapped on bacon sandwiches. it's chewy, fatty, salty and tastes like how i imagine freshly boiled leather would taste. what do people see in bacon butties, please?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 15:59, 18 replies)

You've not lived.....
My bacon is dry cured, cooked to a light crisp without being charred. Bread is white, doorsteppy and home baked. Real butter. Not even this "spreadable butter" shite which is mixed with vegetable oil. Actually Kerrygold spreadable isn't mixed with anything so will do at a pinch.
Apply stonkingly hot bacon to thickly buttered bread, cut in half, and enjoy.
The next person to eat one can even have one half of their bread unbuttered but dipped in the last person's bacon fat.
Yummy.
( Sallyrsm, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 16:06, closed)

That sounds like heaven...
But you forgot the brown sauce
( snee held his breath since, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 11:41, closed)

It isn't the law to eat bacon butties
Bacon with egg and toast with tinned tomatoes is a perfectly acceptable alternative.

Bacon is something that appears to be genetically programmed into most humans. If you don't like, more for the rest of us.

Though whoever invented sweetcure bacon should be shot.....
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 16:24, closed)

Bacon butties
are worth dying for. DYING!!! Mmmmmmmm... BACONY GOODNESS!!!
( SpankyHanky, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 16:35, closed)

"leave you really thirsty"-
=You're doing it wrong.

And any more of this unpatriotic anti-tea tirade and I'll have you chucked out of Blighty!
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 16:41, closed)

MY WORD!
I disagree with everything there. Yes, bacon is chewy if you cook it wrong, but cooked properly it's the BEST. It does make you thirsty though.
( Major Turd for tonight only, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 16:45, closed)

Ahh, the bacon sandwich
Taking down teenage vegetarians since Noah.
(stimpy, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 17:32, closed)

I've not eaten meat since 2003...
...I've happily gone without steak, burgers, lamb chops and pork fillets. No issue here.

However, there are two things I still dream about scoffing with carnivorous glee:

1) Sausages.

2) Bacon sarnies.

The veggie options for the former are surprisingly adequate. The choice for the latter always ends up looking and tasting like Scholl insoles.

Right, I'm off for a nice nut cutlet.

*Guilty drools*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Sun 18 Oct 2009, 18:15, closed)

My little sister...
... used to dip her (barely cooked) bacon sandwiches (made with milk roll anaemic bread)in her (very milky and usually therefore cold) tea.

*gags*

I say used to because as far as I know she was still doing it when she moved out of home this year. Did I mention she's 25?
(Chicken Little This signature has been left blank., Sun 18 Oct 2009, 18:59, closed)

Nay, nay and thrice nay
Bacon sarneys (or more precisely bacon & egg sarneys) are God's own food. And it's the law to enjoy them with a steaming hot mug of sugary tea.
You have my sympathies for not only failing to enjoy these staples, but also for the fact you appear to be familiar with just how slimy a 90-year-old cock is.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Sun 18 Oct 2009, 20:04, closed)

'Take ages to make'?
Exactly how are you making hot drinks? With an electric kettle, I can have the water at perfect heat by the time I've taken a mug out of the cupboard.
(louveciennes , Volvospotter, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 20:08, closed)

How do you know
...how soggy a 90 year old cock is?
(johnnyevil, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 20:31, closed)

did you not see the exchange up there between father and daughter
quite heartwarming
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 18 Oct 2009, 20:44, closed)

I love you to bits Miss Swipe, but i'm afraid we must differ on the issues you have raised.
I'm a soup dunking, tea drinking, bacon eating yokel peasant kind of guy
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 11:19, closed)

that's ok
i can live on the hope of the first few words!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Oct 2009, 14:16, closed)