Long fucking showers.
What the shitting layabout christ is he doing in there?!
(MissUnexpectedNuttering Mad to live, Mad to talk, and burn, burn, burn...., Wed 21 Oct 2009, 19:46, 13 replies)

Wanking
Obviously.
(Sammyhaswoefullyneglectedyou, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 19:49, closed)

Agreed
Silly question, really
(SoneMe, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 20:26, closed)

Thirded
I was caught once by the ex in the shower. She asked if I was thinking of her whilst doing it. I said "Of course I am". Of course that was an absolute lie.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 20:36, closed)

soap sting

( Signify, Wed 21 Oct 2009, 21:13, closed)

its not wanking
its just getting your bits really clean
(Gru being trolled since 1998, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 8:09, closed)

Soap sting??!?
You're doing it wrong......
(Sammyhaswoefullyneglectedyou, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 8:33, closed)

All the above...
I mean, how many men do you know use shampoo, rinse, then shampoo again, rinse, use conditioner (not sure what you actually do with that - I presume rinse?), then use a cucumber body wash on their face, a strawberry one on their body, grab a razor and 'tidy up' downstairs, check boobs for lumps (well, we would do this...and VERY thoroughly too), before turning off the shower, wiping the screen down before using 4 massive towels to cover every inch of our body before departing the bathroom.

Nope, we jump in, wash, make a mohican with shampoo in our hair, fart, then wank.

then drip water all over the floor cos we forgot to bring a towel...
( snee held his breath since, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 8:35, closed)

I'm bald
so I cut out the mohican part and go straight to the wanking
(mcgriffto, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 8:57, closed)

Wank standing up?
...too much effort for me. I prefer to recline.
(Horns, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 9:04, closed)

standing up..
According to the Viz profanisaurus the term for jerking off in the shower is known as a 'hitler wank' - due to the fact that many people like to rest one hand against the wall in a mock salute whilst they go at it enthusiastically with the other.
(mcgriffto, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 9:13, closed)

I heard
it was called "come dancing", because you have to do a little dance to avoid it going on your feet.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 11:32, closed)

Haha
Goodness knows. One of my (male) friends is like that, he takes at least half an hour in the shower.

But every time he goes for a pee, he's gone for about 10 minutes too (no exaggeration). This happens from one pub to the next so surely it's not a wank every time unless he enjoys having blue balls.

It's a great mystery. Some people just manage to be unusually slow at these things!
(Cloudane, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 11:33, closed)

Laying down shower
This thread has answered a questions that "came" up yesterday morning. Bathroom was occupied by the missus's teenaged son who spends 30 mins in the shower even though the bugger isn't even shaving yet. Anyway I needed a pee pronto but boy was in shower, I told him to pull shower curtain across while I went in for a pee and glimpsed him laying down in the shower, I can only presume that the standing up wank option was too tiring.
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Thu 22 Oct 2009, 12:00, closed)