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This is a question Crap Gadgets

We wanted a monkey butler and bought one off eBay. Imagine our surprise when we found it was just an ordinary monkey with rabies. Worse: It had no butler training at all. Tell us about your duff technology purchases.

Thanks to Moonbadger for the suggestion

(, Thu 29 Sep 2011, 12:51)
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Can't remember who made it
but it was a cup of tea/coffee maker which you set up the night before with raw ingredients (water and coffee for me ) and then you spent a blissful night sleeping secure in the knowledge that ten minutes before it was set to wake you up it would start to brew the perfect cup for you , so when you wake up you just have to reach across and enjoy . Unfortunately the ten minutes brewing time largely comprised of a water torture like trickle of hot water dropping into the cup meaning you woke up before the alarm bursting for a pish and forced to get up to void your bladder . Used it twice .
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:16, 12 replies)
The trick is to keep it in the kitchen.
It does require having to get up to get it, but you're still on autopilot, and with practice can get back to the bedroom, put it on the bedside table, and snuggle up and fall asleep again without missing a beat*.

*Some hangover required.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 13:18, closed)
a line of cocaine drugs on your bedside cabinet
racked up the night before, works much better.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 14:06, closed)
My missus had one of these too
but her problem was that it was overenthusiastic so you woke up to it spitting boiling water all over your face.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 14:20, closed)
Is that really sensible?

(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 15:45, closed)
No, not really
You either have to put it on the other side of the room, in which case you can't lazily reach over and pour the tea, or risk scalding.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 16:31, closed)
If she's interested in selling
I think I might have found a solution to my morning laziness.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 15:52, closed)
You're welcome to it
It's currently sitting in the cellar caked with years'worth of caked on tea-gunge.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 16:31, closed)
That's what you told her the hot liquid landing on her face was anyway.

(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 17:03, closed)
If yours comes out at boiling point,
you're probably rubbing it too hard.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:11, closed)
My brother had one that ended up spitting at him...
It would always wake me up when we shared a room, and I'd lay there sniggering quietly as it built up steam, then it would spit and
"Bollocks! fucker!" my brother would go, then blearily get up and fuck off to work, leaving me to enjoy the nice fresh cup of tea :)
(, Tue 4 Oct 2011, 8:45, closed)
We had one of those
It was noisy and the tea tasted funny, and the milk would go all scrambled egg on a hot night.

Think it was made by Morphy Richards or Goblin or maybe a Morphy Richards Goblin?
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 16:34, closed)
Isn't it called a Goblin Teasmaid?
Personally I used to like to wake up to a can of Red Bull and a couple of Prozac on weekdays and a Bloody Mary on weekends.
(, Mon 3 Oct 2011, 19:45, closed)

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