I'm concerned about the value of my house
I have a large interest-only mortgage. we went that route to have spare cash to do it up which would have worked in principle. We've put in all new windows and external doors, decorated the living room including an open fire and done up the bathroom beautifully.

I'm still concerned however that the price of my house will have dropped leaving me with even less equity than I had before.

On the bright side, if I'd stayed in my flat I would've been stuck with a one bed flat I couldn't sell, either dead or guilty of murdering my girlfriend.

I think getting out of the flat just in time with a profit of £22k in two years was the right move. We may be poor, but at least we've got a shitload of room to be poor in.

I'm happy to spend my time huddled round the fire, or round the large piano I can comfortably fit in my kitchen :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:21, 6 replies)

Insert picture of Mr Smug *HERE*
The house we WERE buying for £350,000 has now become the house we ARE buying for £280,000, the mortgage quote being half the one they were offering less than a year ago whilst demanding a 25% deposit.

They are also offering TV's celebrity banking shill Howard Brown come round and do the sexy dance for my wife, by you've got to draw the line somewhere.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:18, Reply)

It hasn't.
In a job where they keep giving me 3 grand a year pay rises for doing fuck all except occasionally spouting bollocks and surfing message boards.

Bought my house 10 years ago and I live in the proper end of the country, so a house that cost the thick end of fuck all and needed mortgage payments in line, now needs payments of about 20 quid a month less.

Feel free to use your favourite derogatory expletive in my direction.
(Worthless wishes he had the brains of a pigeon, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:15, Reply)

a what what?
I dont give a flying monkey bollock. My mortgage is £168 now. I rent it out for £675. Fucking get in.

But my credit crunch tip: stop paying on the train. They agree to run trains properly? I'll agree to pay properly.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:06, 4 replies)

everything i touched last year seemed to turn to shite
my mortgage - northern rock
my main banking -done with RBS
i took volountary redundancy so i could take a job at a booming company with better pay and prospects, and got made redundant 10 months later ( along with around 500 others )

on the plus side, i am getting in some much needed quality time with the kids, my interview technique is becoming more polished*
and i have a fucking giant box of posters blocking my hallway (£3 from woolies,bought by my eldest child) so i can decorate my house in mario,spongebob,wrestling,emo band and three year old chelsea posters. i am glum but surrounded by colourful tat :) joy!!

*polished: was awful,now just poor.
(discodaz *generic witty comment*, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:03, 2 replies)

There's walways money to be made when the shit hits the fan...
I do alright, but couldn't resist a quick buck.

I used my internet phone in woolies to get reviews on all the cheap games xbox psp ps3 wii ds you name it.

Anything that scored over an 8 (Cheap crap games are still crap games) I snapped them up on the very last day of trading of our woolies, paid no more than £9 for any game.

Sold the lot on ebay made over 300 quid.

Now thats cash back.
(Doogie Talons, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:01, Reply)

I am now paying
for fucking gas. I have lived in my house since 2005, and the stupid fucking gas company haven't thought to charge me a penny for it, until now.

I was honest with them when I moved in, and said hello, please charge me, heres my meter number etc etc etc, and they never did charge me. There oversight I thought and forgot about it.

They wrote me a ltter saying, I am sure you'll be 'delighted' that we have rectified our billing problem, and can now charge you. Oh yeah, I am over the fucking moon you bastards, that you are now charging me a fucking fortune a month and making me pay back loads of money for there balls up.

I put it down to some eagle eyed type going over their books and saying something along the lines of, you know you really would make more money if you charged people you supply gas too. Fuckers.

So my days of loafing about the house in shorts and T'Shirt while it's minus 10 outside have now gone......it's back to hiding in bed with a hairdryer to keep the chill off, like when I was a kid. (Don't ask)

So that has been one issue that has come about since all this credit business started, the other most notable thing is, we have now started eating own brand supermarket stuff instead of brand name....my cat is also feeling the pinch....she is now having to eat cheap own brand food too....the poor thing.

She is most upset by this change to her diet and looks very disaprovingly at me when I serve her a meal. I am unsure if she will ever forgive me, so it's not just us humans that are affected by all this. Spare a thought for the thousands of pets up and down the country, whose owners may have to resort to desperate measures such as this.

Still, at least we haven't yet had to resort to eatting our pets in order to survive ourselves. It is only a small comfort to know you are at the top of the food chain if you actually had to resport to eating little fu fu or fluffy or whatever furry friend you may or may not have, just because of some greedy fucking bankers causing all this fuck up.

In fact I think we should eat those responsible for this, thus saving a few pounds for ourselves, and preventing the same fuckers doing it again.....or maybe not.

Apologies for length and rambling.
(iwantmybed Is counting down the hours till home time on, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 13:00, 8 replies)

Credit Crunch Christmas
First, find your roadkill. This was achieved by (accidentally) hitting a pheasant with a LDV van. (It broke the grille of the van: there's no such thing as a free lunch.)

Second, hang pheasant for 10 days then pluck and gut it. Plucking is not tricky, the bit where you draw the guts out the anus is a little unpleasant, and sometimes you have to hacksaw bits off, thusly:


Third, go and raid the local shops on Christmas Eve. Everything is massively marked down in price. Example: smoked salmon is now £3 instead of £12 for the full damn fish (attempt to catch your own fish by all means - I tried and failed and resorted to spending the £3). Leftover vegetables from the greengrocers are practically given away.

Fourth, make someone else buy the booze in exchange for getting your hands covered in pheasant shit and blood.

Fifth, eat drink and be merry and then mutter things about people who have skimped on the Christmas presents this year.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:58, 17 replies)

Greater Sensitivity in the Workplace
In the past we'd joke about 'I'll get a box ready for your stuff'. etc., when people went into Appraisals or meetings with senior managers. Now that people do actually come out and start packing their stuff up you tend to avoid lines like that...

Unless you're senior enough to get away with it, of course.

So last week, a colleague, whose team is being merged with another (and who was therefore a bit nervous), was called into the head of department's office:

'Listen mate - out of respect, I just wanted to let you know that Steve (the big boss) is looking for you...'

Off he heads Steve's office.

'Oh, hi, come in - shut the door.'
'You wanted to see me?'
'Yes, yes, well... '
'What's up?'
'You know your team's merging?'
'Yes...'
'And the company has some hard decisions to make at the moment?'
'Yes'
'So do you want the desk near the window or the kitchen?'

He headed back to our bit of the office to be greeted by a welcoming party of us lot pissing ourselves laughing. He refused to go out for a drink with us last night because he still thinks we're all cunts. Hopefully he'll see the funny side soon...
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:58, 4 replies)

To stop us pissing about at work they took facebook away :(
fucking Crunch.
(waxdart hello., Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:53, 1 reply)

I'm glad it happened....
....I told everyone I know that if there really was a credit crunch, I'd run through Woolworths naked.

Bullet dodged there I reckon.
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:51, 1 reply)

Crunch-tastic
Of all the cheap-o stuff they sold at woolies, I was the big spender that bought cheap pens and crap quality sweeties (Y).

I could have bought a borked Roboraptor for the measly sum of £5.

The credit crunch means that University is going to be far more expensive than it already is :(
( unsey a frizzy haired fruit since, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:45, 1 reply)

What credit crunch!
This is the wealthiest I've ever been in my life.




But am I happy?
( girlinthehole, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:39, 1 reply)

Well, if I'm honest....
.....the Credit crunch has been the best thing to happen to me of late!

I used to have a great job, I loved it, it was my dream and God dammit, I was living it. I got to drive fast cars, I got to travel the world to see and drive other fast cars and I got paid to write about them. Joyous times.

Sadly though, I didn't get paid much. So little in fact that it made my wife very unhappy indeed. She was generally unhappy anyway as she had the misfortune to marry the 6ft 3 lump of Northern idiocy that is me, but it would seem that having no money or freinds around her really tipped her over the edge. Anyway, I digress.

So, after many many argument involing the throwing of many plates, the shouting of many words and the slamming of many doors I gave in to old wifey and I left my dream job, moved back to where all her buddies are, sold my car to pay for it all, got a job, earned my money, kept her happy....

....then she divorced me. Urm. Okay.

Still, no worries. I got word of a job on another publication with my company of old. I played hard ball and told them I was earning masses of the folding stuff at my new job, which of course, I wasn't. Que a series of phonecalls in whch they got more and more deperate to get me back when eventually, they buckled!

So, in the whole credit crunch era I have got rid of a wife who, quite frankly, I'm glad to be rid of. I got my old job back, and what's more, I got it back at roughly £5000 a year more than I was on last time I was here! Plus, I have more disposable income than I've had in a long time, a social life which is decided by me and a damn nice (albeit rented) pad which was dirt cheap as the rental market has fallen on it's arse. Joy!

Credit Crunch? What fucking credit crunch?
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:36, Reply)

It has caused me a lot of pain
Shouting "hahahahaha, screw you bitches" every times the news comes on and tells me how people have hurt themselves playing with imaginary money has made my throat sore.
(teebie jeebie, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:36, 4 replies)

I went to my local wetherspoons last saturday
and drank ten bottles of san miguel for ten english gold coin pounds. thank you very sir.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:36, Reply)

It hasn't.
I'm in a permanent job with a final salary pension, my base rate tracker mortgage has just plummeted so that I can afford double my usual payments, I have no debts, I have no savings to lose, I have no dependents, and my biggest fear is that I might trip on a beggar on my way to Tesco.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:34, 7 replies)

It meant that I was only able to donate £5 to B3TA instead of the suggested £10
And if things get much worse I'm going to have to ask for it back.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:31, Reply)

No difference
Was skint before, am skint now, and forever will be.

Spare change?

Dktr S
(Dr Skagra glorious glargzhem, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:31, 1 reply)

Credit crunch?
Did I miss something? My wage has pretty much doubled since news of this so called 'credit crunch' came out, my house has actually increased (slightly) in value and my mortgage payments have gone down.

I feel quite smug at the moment :0)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:30, Reply)

bit of banker
Well as I'm a big fat cat banker.
I'm rich, rich I tell you
Mwahahahahahahahahahahha!
(nattydread, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:26, Reply)

Mrs V has just been told
that everyone in her company has to take a temporary 10% pay cut.

Obviously this is not a good time to be approximately £160 worse off a month...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:26, Reply)

Using
my expired zonecard successfully for a fortnight before an eagle eyed Estonian bus driver spotted it and chucked me off the bus at 07:30.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Instead of going for a posh lunch...
I'm here pressing F5 and trying to get first QOTW.

Top 5?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:25, Reply)

Credit Crunch
is the bane of my fucking life.

It's keeping me too busy at work figuring out how it's affecting people that I don't get to leave til about 8 most nights.

I do, however, know more than I ever cared to know about how it's affecting other people, who they blame, what they think should be done and whether they are saving or not.

Seriously, keep an eye on the press in early Feb and the stuff I am working on will be all over the financial pages, I guarantee it.

And then I bet I still get bloody made redundant anyway.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:24, 1 reply)

Every time a new QOTW opens, I post an answer to the old one.
That's what I do to fit in.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:23, Reply)

2nd?

( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Seconds!
Whoo etc.

edit: and first with anything to say, it seems...

I'm a freelancer, and fortunately so far haven't been too affected by the credit crunch in my line of work - I think my industry is relatively safe.

However, it's always more difficult to find work in the winter time, and so consequentially throughout the year I try and squirrel away as much spare cash as I possibly can, just in case I have to hibernate for a month or two.

My friends know this. My friends are all skint. As a result, rather than having a tidy pile of money earning an (admittedly shite) rate of interest tucked away somewhere as safe as can possibly be in these times of financial armageddon, I've given out several large interest-free loans to pay people's rent and to get them through the month.

I trust them all implicitly to get the money back to me when they can, but I finish my contract this week, and if I don't start earning again fairly soon, or get some money back from them, I'll struggle to pay MY rent.

So, whilst sagely watching reports of banks collapsing, thinking, "Those bankers are a bunch of arse-candles. How could they not see this coming?", I've gone and created my own fucking credit crunch microcosm.

Click "I like this" if you think I should start breaking friends' kneecaps now as a down-payment.
(Sloppy Giuseppe, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:21, 3 replies)

first

(PsychoChomp, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 12:21, 1 reply)